Let’s be honest with ourselves for a moment. How much of your life are you currently living entirely from the neck up? We live in a culture that glorifies the hustle, teaching us to think our way out of problems, over-analyze every possible outcome, and essentially “white-knuckle” our way through stress until we reach some imaginary finish line. But as our guest this week points out, that strategy is exactly why you feel burnt out, anxious, and disconnected. In Episode 114 of The Fully Expressed Podcast, we sat down with the absolute lightning bolt that is Samantha Skelly—founder of Pause Breathwork and host of the Can’t Be Contained podcast—to talk about her journey from a numb, anxiety-ridden performer to a magnetic leader who runs a multi-million dollar empire.
If you are ready to fire your inner critic and finally tap into your true power, this episode is your permission slip to stop thinking so much and start feeling.
Why Your Mind is Actually a Terrible CEO
One of the most refreshing and hilarious things Samantha shared during our conversation is her belief that the mind is actually kind of dumb. It sounds harsh, but when we operate solely from our mental body and disconnect from our intuition, we are operating out of survival strategies, fear, and short-term reactivity. The mind is fantastic at logistics, but it is terrible at navigation. Samantha explains that about 95% of the world lives entirely in their mental or emotional bodies, completely cutting off their intuitive body. This disconnection leads to what she calls “emotional constipation,” where we suppress feelings until they fester, mutate, and eventually explode sideways in our lives.
Samantha knows this struggle intimately. Growing up as a dancer, child actress, and stunt double, she was always outwardly “fully expressed,” but by the time she hit 18, she developed disordered eating and severe body image issues. She tried absolutely everything to fix it from the outside in, including therapy and attending nearly 70 Tony Robbins conferences, but nothing worked because she was still living in her head. It wasn’t until a medicine man in Bali told her that she “thinks too much” and needs to meditate that she stumbled into a breathwork class.
Breathwork: The Lubricator for Transformation
Samantha didn’t start as a breathwork guru; in fact, when she walked into her first class and saw people lying around on pillows, she thought it looked like an orgy. But within three minutes of breathing, her body felt electric, and she realized she had been numb for years. Breathwork became the catalyst that allowed her to heal her eating disorder within three months because she was finally inhabiting her body rather than fighting it.
She describes breathwork as a “lubricator” for your emotions because it softens the survival strategies that keep you guarded. This allows you to process the backlog of old trauma stored in your nervous system. You don’t have to be a spiritual yogi to get the benefits, either. Samantha shared an incredible story about teaching breathwork at Pelican Bay State Prison to inmates serving life sentences. In a room full of hardened men, the breath softened their armor, leading to tears and a profound realization from one inmate who told her that if he had known how to do this earlier, he wouldn’t be in prison. It is proof that when you drop the armor, you find your heart.
Stop Being a Martyr in Your Business
For the entrepreneurs listening, Samantha’s approach to business is a masterclass in energetic boundaries and staying in your “Zone of Genius.” She admits that for years, she was a martyr to her team, letting people book over her calendar and getting involved in tasks that drained her energy. She eventually realized that if she wasn’t focused on revenue and being a good CEO, she needed to fire herself and find someone who could do it better.
Now, she operates with a ruthless focus on revenue-driving activities and ensures she isn’t doing anything that sits outside her zone of genius. This required her to uplevel her own standards; she realized she couldn’t attract “A-Players” to her team if she was showing up as a mediocre leader herself. To manage her ADHD and constant stream of creative ideas, she now uses a “sandbox” method. This allows her to play with new concepts without derailing her team or the company’s core mission until she is sure an idea is viable and strategically sound.
The Struggle Between “I” and “We”
Perhaps the most vulnerable part of this conversation was Samantha’s reflection on her recent marriage and the shift from hyper-independence to partnership. As a self-proclaimed individualist and free spirit, learning the “art of the We” has been a distinct challenge for her. She noted that while the rise of feminism allowed women to rise into financial power, many of us did it by mimicking men, leading to burnout and a disconnection from our feminine cycles.
Marriage has acted as an initiation for her, serving as the ultimate mirror that pokes at her distortions and challenges her to soften. With her husband Eric holding the vision of the “We,” she is learning that she can be fully expressed and successful without having to do it all alone. It is a powerful reminder that we can rewrite generational trauma simply by letting ourselves be loved, supported, and part of a team.
Whether you are building a business, healing a relationship, or just trying to get through the day without spiraling, the answer isn’t thinking harder. It’s pausing. It’s breathing. It’s trusting that your body knows the way.
Listen to Episode #114: Stop White-Knuckling Your Life with Samantha Skelly
