In this episode, we explore what it truly means to unleash your inner rebel and consciously create a life that reflects your deepest desires. We dive into the power of choice, feminine energy, and navigating personal evolution—all through the lens of a woman who wants to be fully expressed in love and business.
0:02: Welcome to the Fully expressed podcast.
0:03: We are your hosts, Samantha and Karenna.
0:06: This is a show where we invite you into your fullest express self and life, relationships, and business.
0:11: We believe that if you crave more, you are meant for more.
0:14: There is room for all of us to be fully expressed.
0:17: Along with the show, we’ve created a virtual community to connect you with fellow listeners.
0:22: Make sure to check out the fully expressed community membership.
0:25: You’ll find the link to join in the show notes and on our website.
0:28: So excited to see you there.
0:30: Enjoy this new episode.
0:34: Welcome back to another episode of the Fully expressed podcast.
0:39: Today we have a beautiful returning guest, Sana Akhand.
0:43: She is an embodiment coach, co-founder of Growth Club, and host of Thriving in Love.
0:50: Sanna gained national attention for defying societal norms when she and her husband chose to live in separate apartments while remaining happily married, a love story featured in The New York Times, Good Morning America, and many more publications.
1:05: Sanna’s mission is to help.
1:06: People break free from societal expectations and embrace their authenticity to cultivate deeper connections and thrive in conscious relationships.
1:16: Through Growth Club, a Los Angeles-based community for conscious leaders, and her podcast, she inspires people to align with their own truth, create a meaningful impact, and live with both passion and purpose.
1:29: Welcome.
1:30: How does it feel to receive it?
1:31: Powerful.
1:32: Yeah, like everything I’ve been working towards has arrived.
1:36: What does that mean?
1:38: Holy shit.
1:40: Like, like everything that I’ve been working through has arrived.
1:43: When you finally connect the dots between everything that happened in your life.
1:49: And it just finally clicks into place, like, oh, that’s why I was never happy in the brawls in the places with the people that I was trying so hard to fit in with.
2:04: And it’s because I wasn’t meant to be there.
2:07: I was meant to be here.
2:10: Yeah, I’m so happy for you.
2:12: Literally.
2:14: I mean just the energy in this room, you can you could feel it.
2:17: So thanks for coming.
2:18: I appreciate that so much because I know my husband shared the story a little bit in there before you came on, but I think it took me a really long time and I’m I, I would, I wonder if you relate to this about having that unconventional dynamic or going a different route than the normal process and having to sit in that by yourself because you don’t see it in society or you don’t see it in the world and you’re like, is this wrong?
2:43: Am I crazy?
2:44: Does that relate?
2:45: I feel like so hard, hard.
2:48: Hardest, am I crazy has been a running theme in my life for a long time.
2:54: I mean, even just stepping into the space of spirituality in general, it’s like, oh, that’s woo woo, that’s not grounded in reality.
3:00: And it’s like, well, what if it could be?
3:03: And like I’ve just always approached things as more of a curiosity versus a judgment, and I’m like, oh, everybody else is judging this.
3:11: Why?
3:12: And that opened doors for me to travel through portals of like deeper self-discovery within myself.
3:19: And I was like, Oh, OK.
3:21: Well, they’re judging it.
3:22: That means a part of me is judging it because that’s reflecting back to me in my external reality.
3:27: Why, what part of me is judging it first and foremost.
3:30: Second, why?
3:32: Where did that belief system come from?
3:34: And how can I challenge it and arrive at my own truth?
3:37: Yeah, I feel like you’ve been doing that your whole life.
3:39: So like, I, if you guys know Sanna is a returning guest, and we had her on the podcast is really talk about your marriage, where you decided to take a break and live separately throughout your marriage.
3:51: We’ll talk about being a wife, but not from being a lover.
3:55: I love it.
3:56: Yeah, most importantly, just to let you know yourself again, but I also want to like reflect back to you, like you and I were getting dinner in Culver City City when I was out there for a conference, and you were just talking about how you’ve always been invited to think more curiosity, really like, I guess challenge the judgments or the way that things are, and I think it’s why you’re in this room today, because, God, this could be an emotional episode.
4:21: I was like, why are we all crying already?
4:23: , because it’s the reason why you’re in this room today, right?
4:26: Like it’s just, it’s been a part of your story.
4:28: So I’m so excited to just peel back that story and then also for people to know that what’s coming is we’re also going to talk about your conscious decision to be child-free.
4:38: And Sam and I have been talking so much about motherhood, and for the most part, I thought we were going to be on the same page.
4:44: I we are.
4:46: about motherhood, but we want to also represent a different perspective, you know, Nothing about this podcast is like there’s, this is the way you’re supposed to do it.
4:53: The the invitation here is for you to find your way.
4:56: And you’re just a living expression of that.
5:00: And we all are are unique expressions of how love and life wants to flow through us and around us.
5:07: And it’s about personal choice, right?
5:10: And what does personal choice mean?
5:11: It means how do we make sure that the decisions that we’re making In our life are reflective of who we are, not who we have been conditioned to be.
5:22: And that is the journey of what it means to be consciously child freak, right?
5:28: It’s not about, oh, for a long time, I thought I didn’t want kids because who wants to pass on all this generational trauma?
5:36: I mean, really want to give this the next one.
5:39: And then on the opposite end of that, who wants to bring in children into this fucked up world?
5:45: And I was stuck in that limbo for quite a while and then I was like, well, neither of those have anything to do with me personally choosing.
5:54: It’s about like conditions outside of me.
5:57: , so this year, so I turned 35, and this was the greatest year for me to really tap in and ask myself all of the questions because as we know, women are on a biological clock and it’s clicking and it’s ticking away and if you don’t make the choice, I don’t want the choice to be taken.
6:19: Away from me before I had the ability to make the choice for myself.
6:23: So I prioritize that over everything this year.
6:27: I’m curious, as someone who sometimes feels one way about it, and then another way, do you, are you open as well to like, what if at 40 years old, you’re like, actually, I want to be a mother?
6:39: Yes.
6:40: OK.
6:41: I’m so curious about that.
6:42: I always say like if I know so many beautiful women who are like, oh, I didn’t think I wanted children, and then I had a dream or a journey and I met my spirit baby and the baby was like, hey, I’m ready to arrive.
6:54: And if a baby wants to come into my dreams or psychedelic experience and tell me it wants to come through, who am I to say no?
7:03: Yes, absolutely.
7:04: If that moment comes and arrives in that way, or any other like synchronistic magical way, I am totally open to it.
7:12: And if I personally choose one day, like afterwards, if I can’t have my own kids anymore.
7:19: And I’m like, you know what, something feels like it’s missing.
7:22: I’m, there’s millions of babies out there that need a loving home, and I would be more than happy to provide that for them.
7:28: Something you’re talking to is the flexibility of choice, because I think sometimes we think that like once I’m a good choice, it’s the only thing I could stand by.
7:35: And as former people pleasers or anything with the background, you’re like always be like, well, when I say I have to commit, I have to commit to, you know, and you’re talking about like in my decision right now, this is what I’m clear on, and I’m also open for something else showing me differently in the.
7:51: Future, and I just don’t think we’d give ourselves enough permission to even be in that limbo because it’s quote unquote, unsafe in a lot of ways, and it feels a little gray and it’s like, but then also it also feels very convicting and true, and this is what’s real and you’re talking to like, oh, I can be real in this moment.
8:10: And this is what I choose for the time being, and if something changes, it’s OK to change.
8:15: Yeah.
8:15: I think fluidity is the best way to live.
8:18: I think it’s colorful.
8:19: I think it’s vibrant.
8:20: I think it’s dynamic.
8:22: I think it’s like the world, you have one little life, why not make it the best one ever with like all of the options and opportunities and pivots and dips and valleys and You know, like, why do we have to choose one path and then stick with it for 50+ years?
8:44: It doesn’t make sense in my like little brain.
8:47: It just doesn’t click.
8:49: I love that so much.
8:50: I, I think it’s so resonant for anyone who’s like artistic or even in human design, we talk about it a lot, but like I’m, I’m a manifesting generator, and every time someone asks me, or I would Say when people ask me what I’ve done, I’ve done a lot of different things, you know, and, and it’s so crazy because I never understood.
9:09: I thought that was weird because in society you’re like, pick a niche, pick one thing, do one thing, and I’m like, but I can’t.
9:16: Yeah, I physically can’t.
9:17: Like I just get bored and then I want to move on.
9:20: Like some things have sustained my interest forever, but other things I’m just like, OK, I’ve, I feel like I’ve felt what I need to feel and move forward.
9:27: Like, how does that fit in for you in terms of breaking free from societal norms, or even just on a day to day basis that fluidity you’re speaking to, like, how has that showed up in your own life?
9:38: Well, I’m building Growth Club right now, which is a brand new company, and it has been challenging me with this fluidity of, oh, this is what you’re prac like this is what you teach, this is what you preach.
9:51: Can you practice it?
9:53: And I have been somebody who spent 10 years in New York, built businesses, and sold them, and I have built it in a very masculine way.
10:04: A, B, C, Ty.
10:07: And with Growth Club, it is, it cannot be that way.
10:12: It’s not flowing through me that way.
10:16: Anytime it does, I feel resistance, and I see that reflected back to me in a lack of ticket sales, a lack of energy in our social media, a lack of just resonance in the audience, and I’m noticing I’m able to pick up on these like energies now, and I’m like, Oh, that’s not clicking.
10:37: I’m able to pivot a lot faster.
10:39: I’m able to notice and shift and tap in and see and move it faster.
10:46: So, it’s really cool because when you are opening up your channel to co-create with a greater energy, you have to put the ego on the side.
10:59: And the ego is the one that’s like, oh, A B C to Z, da da da, your higher self that is guiding you on the journey is going to be like, now humanity is shifting here, now it’s consciousness is shifting there.
11:12: Where’s the balance?
11:13: Where is the dance happening?
11:14: Where’s the dance moving to?
11:17: So you have to just like be and flow with that.
11:19: How do you do that?
11:20: How did you find?
11:21: OK, let’s let’s start from like, how did you create the trust to be able to do that within yourself?
11:26: What is your relationship like with your intuition?
11:28: What does that mean to you?
11:30: Your intuition is the gut feeling that you have and it makes your heart race and people think that’s anxiety.
11:39: And your anxiety is the voice of the ego saying This doesn’t, this isn’t familiar to me.
11:46: I don’t know what to do with it.
11:48: So making peace with befriending your anxiety in a way of, hey, anxiety, like, I know this isn’t familiar, but let’s just try it out.
11:58: We can always go back and do it the masculine way.
12:03: And I don’t know if this is going to work with Growth Club, but I’m along for the ride, you know, and it’s just like making peace with trial and error is OK, failure is OK.
12:14: Above all, what’s not OK is not trusting myself and listening to what Gary Vee is saying about marketing.
12:25: It’s true, yeah.
12:27: I also think like bringing this back to like a little bit about like you designed to be consciously child free, something you said before we click record, you said you could birth other things.
12:36: And I’m so curious, like, what you’re saying and like in your perspective, like, what you’re birthing with growth cubs seems more intuitively RAM versus logically RAM.
12:48: Yeah, which the mother energy Mo energy, which I want to bring that back.
12:52: How does that land when you hear that?
12:54: Like, wow, I’m actually doing it.
12:57: Like, it’s, I understand why people would be scared.
13:01: It’s such Great unknown.
13:03: It’s a dark void of like nothingness, and you can’t see.
13:09: And I always say if you can see it clearly, then you’re on somebody else’s path, you’re not on your own, right?
13:15: So that’s a good one.
13:16: Yeah, sorry, we do this thing.
13:18: We need to tell every guest before they get on here.
13:20: I know, if something hits, yeah, we all like we do the silent clap.
13:24: I love that.
13:25: Just to tell you, yeah, I hear what you mean.
13:30: Yeah, and I get it, like, and again, it depends on your human design.
13:34: It truly does.
13:35: Not everybody is a 46 like I am, that is in the journey of being the one who wants to figure it out and find the answers, and then come back and share.
13:45: Are you a projector?
13:46: Oh, you’re both projectors.
13:48: And then some people are like the generators and, you know, my husband is a generator, and he’s very, very good at like, OK, tell me like how to do it, and I’ll like take 10X.
14:00: And for me, it’s like, that’s not fun for me.
14:03: That’s easy for me to be like, oh, I could do that.
14:07: I want the challenge and I cause I want to grow.
14:11: I don’t want life to be easy.
14:14: I want it to be fun.
14:16: Has that been something that’s always been innate in you though?
14:19: Like, such a rebel, like my whole life.
14:22: OK, talk about that.
14:23: Well, it was a good girl, I think like aquarian.
14:27: So my north is an aquaria.
14:29: Oh, OK, yeah, there you go.
14:32: She’s yeah, I know I so much from your podcast.
14:36: Oh yeah, yeah, I talked about I was like, oh my gosh, I, yeah, yeah.
14:42: The rebel and I love what you said that we have all houses that we can tap into.
14:48: Yeah, you know that now, like all the time.
14:52: Yeah, your episode was honestly life shifting for me, so everybody should go listen to it right now.
14:59: It’s so true.
15:00: I mean, we are all of it.
15:01: We’re we’re, I was just telling someone the other day, like, I believe in astrology so much and I am so passionate about it, but I also think we can transcend it.
15:09: I feel like we can, yeah, I feel like we can transcend all of it, any of it, any challenge, like, it’s only us putting the limitation on our ourselves.
15:18: That’s why I’m so careful in the way I share it or how I encourage people to use it because it it can also be a trap like anything else.
15:25: So true.
15:26: I believe that about spirituality too.
15:28: I believe that about religion.
15:29: I believe that all of it all of it, yeah, capitalism, all of it, yeah, beautiful, so good.
15:36: Yeah, my husband’s an Aquarius, so he’s also like always down for the change showing the way.
15:41: I love it.
15:42: He’s, yeah, that’s a very karmic connection.
15:45: oh my gosh, yes.
15:46: I invisible string gear charge.
15:48: Read together?
15:49: No, you did tell me to, but you.
15:52: It’s fun, yeah.
15:54: I’d always can’t worry, like, I don’t wanna fall into those traps of like, oh, I believe this to be like the truth.
16:01: But I like your strategy, I know.
16:03: Yeah, that’s like everything you’re talking about right now.
16:06: But it’s a slippery slope, like, you can fall into it.
16:09: I mean, I have, in so many ways where I was like, oh, this is the only way, and then my husband is like, no, it’s not.
16:16: He’s like, there’s many ways.
16:18: Yeah, he’s like, just cause it works for you doesn’t mean that’s a universal truth.
16:23: And I was like, but then what is universal truth?
16:25: He’s like, there is not.
16:26: I think truth is truth.
16:28: I think love is the universal truth, but that word’s overused as well, but I feel like that heart centered love, like, I think that’s the only universal truth.
16:37: And rich or poor, you’re always desiring love.
16:40: Yeah, all all of us, I think that’s the unifier between all socioeconomic backgrounds, all cultures, all people.
16:47: That’s the only language I think is real.
16:49: Everything else is like interpreted.
16:52: Every time I used, I used to be such a like, this is the truth, you know, or this is my facts, and then I think over time, as I’ve had these amazing conversations or met people and see different perspectives, you’re like, I know nothing, and there’s no truth, that’s true.
17:06: Beauty of it is like returning to that student and also learning to master the teacher.
17:11: Mhm.
17:12: I mean, that’s what’s amazing about your company you’re building, is that you, you’ve lived this one way for so long, what a gift that you can actually be strong enough or like open enough to be moving in a totally operating in a totally different way.
17:28: It’s, it’s so much resistance, and it’s like, because of that, I’m like, oh, OK, this is gonna take longer.
17:34: I’m not gonna hit my goals as quickly as I probably could have.
17:39: But to me, Moving now, building Girls Club isn’t about the number of the people.
17:44: It’s about the humans that are walking in through the door, trusting me for providing them with the space where they get to discover more of who they are.
17:53: And like that is such a freaking honor.
17:56: That’s so beautiful.
17:57: So what’s real quick, I want to know what’s the resistance that you’re talking about?
18:00: Like what are some of the blocks that come up?
18:02: Well, the you go, right?
18:03: It’s like, oh, well, like, you know, put in money on this Facebook ad and let it.
18:09: Attract the right people, whatever, and it’s just like, you get that gut feeling of an ick, and you know how people have that in relationships and dating all the time.
18:18: It’s like, oh, I don’t know what it was about him, but I just got the ick, and it’s like, I get that with my business.
18:23: Like they coming through and I’m just like, ick, like, oh, like that’s so bro marketing fear mongering tactics.
18:31: That’s not what I’m doing here, but it’s familiar, and it’s what everybody’s telling.
18:37: Telling you on social media, all the gurus are like, oh, like, you know, have this, what’s it called, like feeling that something is not going to be available forever like scarcity or, yeah, yeah, yeah, like go after it hard so then or like tell them it’s like limited spots get it before it’s gone.
18:57: Oh, that kind of energy, yeah.
18:59: And I’m like, yeah, I get how that works, and I can see that clearly and I’ve done it before.
19:05: And it’s never really felt good.
19:07: I’m like, I don’t want people’s nervous systems to go into fucking havoc while making a decision, and if they should work with me or when they come to you and they’re like, I made it in the spot, but it that fran and it also looks like catalyzing or like power energy of like you have I got in.
19:22: This, and I can like look up to you.
19:24: I feel so special.
19:25: I get to work with you.
19:26: It’s just not, yeah, which I think the age of guru was done anyways.
19:30: It’s like about realizing we’re all one.
19:32: We’re all there’s no we’re all our own inner gurus.
19:35: You have your inner guru and you tap in and listen.
19:39: We all share that.
19:40: We all like have the wisdom inside of us.
19:43: Yeah, yeah, literally.
19:44: And like my path is never going to work for you and your path is not gonna work for me.
19:47: We can inspire each other, and that’s the beauty of connection and conversations and sharing stories.
19:54: And it’s like, wow, that’s such an interesting way to live and be.
19:58: Let me take pockets of that that I like, and let me leave the rest to you living your truth and implement that in my life.
20:06: And if that vibes with me, thank you so much for inspiring.
20:11: That in me.
20:12: And you can feel that there’s a difference in that kind of energy.
20:15: Like when someone says something or something that really lands and you’re like, I was meant to hear that, like earlier today when she was talking about the CEO million dollar thing, you’re like, I needed to hear that.
20:24: That energy feels like more like, that’s for me.
20:28: There’s a different energy where it’s like, oh, if you, if I get that thing, I’m gonna receive the other thing.
20:35: You know what I mean?
20:35: Like that’s different versus like, oh, that was for me to like, if I do that marketing thing, or if I say their strategy, or if I invest in the way that they said to invest, I’m gonna be the millionaire, like you’re, you’re saying you’re looking for the logic of like, oh, A plus B equals C, versus like, oh, A sounds really nice.
20:53: Yeah, so now I want J.
20:54: Yeah, and it’s like there isn’t like a direct like a linear line, like a linear line to finding that for yourself.
21:01: It’s it really comes down to like when you said this.
21:03: Sana, there is no universal truth, but there is your truth.
21:06: And I think the more that you self trust that something’s supposed to land, that your universal truth is you through that.
21:15: Exactly.
21:17: Yeah.
21:18: It’s interesting too that you’re saying it feels icky because I just saw a video talking about frequency, and that authenticity is actually higher on the frequency scale than love.
21:28: And so authentic love is like the ultimate, but it It is like, I think we’re all coming into that resonance of like, does this feel authentic?
21:36: And it has to feel true to you.
21:37: Like we can’t force it anymore.
21:39: We can’t fake it.
21:40: We can’t show up and like try to be someone else or do something else cause it does.
21:44: It gives you the ick.
21:45: You’re just like, and what if there was no hierarchy?
21:49: And what if authenticity was a frequency that exists and love is a frequency that exists and you just get to build the bridges in between if you want both?
22:00: Yeah, absolutely.
22:01: And then you get to juggle all the frequencies you desire, like, frequency, what is frequency?
22:06: Energy.
22:07: What is the 3D, the manifestation of that energy in matter form.
22:12: So all frequencies are happening simultaneously in coexistence, right here, right now, and whatever.
22:22: desire is already happening in one of those frequencies.
22:26: You just have to figure out how to collapse the distance between that frequency and where you are here, right?
22:32: Like attune yourself to that.
22:34: I think it’s so interesting how the programming of hierarchy is so embedded in us of like better than or further than or smarter than or greater than.
22:44: And we’re all having to like deprogram ourselves from that, literally, and that’s the resistance, that’s like, think about it though, one way of life has gotten you to this point and your life is good and comfortable and something you’re proud of, and then it gets challenged.
23:01: Oh, what they call it a death to the ego for a reason, right?
23:05: I don’t believe in an eagle.
23:06: Death, I think that ego is very powerful and very beautiful, and it’s my favorite part of me.
23:11: And I also know that there’s another way that is also available, and I’m just too curious not to try it.
23:19: Speak a little more into that, the like the ego death and how you view the ego instead.
23:24: I think the ego just needs to realize that it’s not alone.
23:29: It’s, it has the heart to support it as a partner, not as something lower or less than.
23:38: It’s a two-way street, and like when the ego we hit burnout, we get exhausted, we have anxiety, we have mental health issues, that was manifest as chronic illnesses because the ego is being overdriven, over like, override it, yeah, yeah.
23:54: And the heart is like, hey, I’m here, just tap in.
23:58: Hey, I’m available to help.
24:00: But again, the feminine needs to feel safe enough for her to awaken and arise in order for her to help out.
24:10: And the ego, if you’re anxiety, if you’re letting anxiety win over being like, you know what, something’s happening in me and I’m going to surrender to this, and I’m gonna let it flow, then she can And rise.
24:22: But that’s what people say, like the death of the ego is like, Oh, kill the ego, let the feminine awaken.
24:26: And it’s like, but then the feminine will feel alone.
24:29: Yeah, it’s like, how do you integrate it with the heart and work as one cohesive cohesive unit?
24:35: It sounds like is what you’re saying.
24:37: Exactly.
24:37: Like it’s like co-creative partnership within you.
24:39: It’s the masculine and feminine within you.
24:42: It is the mother and father within you.
24:45: Tap into both.
24:47: And then you are the sovereign being that gets to be like, OK, mom said this, dad said this, what do I think is the best aligned action for me here in this moment?
24:58: Not leaning all the way in either direction.
25:01: It’s creative.
25:02: It’s a turning your life into art.
25:05: It is having fun with all the options and then choosing the one that excites you the most.
25:12: I’m curious in your perspective, like speaking about this, and like, literally treating life as art or creativity, which you might relate to as well, is like, how do you navigate not only your ego, but other people’s egos, or other people’s projections onto you, or like family dynamics or culture dynamics.
25:29: Like, I know people are just, I mean, I think they they innately know that they’re craving creative freedom.
25:36: I think it’s like their birthright, like they they know it and then like like they want to be pulled in a certain direction.
25:42: But they’re not only met with their own ego, but they’re also met with other people’s egos.
25:47: As an empath, and as somebody who absorbs a lot of other people’s energy, energetic boundaries are everything.
25:54: Other people’s egos are their limiting perceptions of what is available to them, and you see that and say, interesting, that may be true for you, but I’m gonna to go figure out.
26:06: If it’s true for me or not.
26:07: And if I find out that it was true, I’ll come back and I’ll have the humbleness to say you’re right.
26:13: I tried it though for myself.
26:15: Yeah, so like my sister a little bit.
26:18: She’s very much like, if I try it it works, I’ll let you know.
26:21: If it doesn’t, it doesn’t, not my problem, which is kind of what you’re talking to, and it’s like this, it feels like strength, it feels like rebelly, it feels like inner rebel, it feels Like inner justice to like, I can still make my own choice, let me choose.
26:33: Yeah.
26:34: And like, I hate learning from other people’s mistakes, and that’s a huge weakness that I do have.
26:39: And like, I think my life would be a million times easier if I was the type of person that enjoyed learning from other people’s mistakes.
26:47: I’ll never read a personal development book and be like, Oh, I won’t try that how you do it, you know?
26:54: I think that, well, you’re talking to something that’s so interesting because I think so many people do, you know, they want to prevent something from happening.
27:01: And what?
27:02: Because I don’t know what that is.
27:03: What are they preventing?
27:05: They’re preventing some kind of pain that’s gonna happen to them.
27:08: It’s definitely you’re already in pain.
27:10: You’re already suffering from this disconnection that I agree.
27:13: I mean, there’s there’s this in the first place, which I understand, but they’re like, oh, but you solved this.
27:20: I need to know how I’ve solved that.
27:22: And I do.
27:23: I think like through that process, like you find discernment, you find, which is what we’re talking to here, it’s like, you do find discernment, but you do gotta walk the fear.
27:32: Yes, maybe you get a guide from like a personal development, maybe it sparks something, but it’s the discernment and the intuition that you end up learning that I don’t think there’s a book out there that says, you know what, I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but I’m gonna teach you how to discern between the different parts within yourself.
27:48: I’m trying to write that book.
27:49: It’s so hard.
27:50: I can’t wait to read it, yeah.
27:51: Like you’re probably writing that book.
27:53: I forgot about it, you are, but it’s hard, right?
27:56: Because, and I think about this too, like I talked to so many of my coaching friends and even in like our products and our businesses, right?
28:02: Like, it’s so difficult to say A plus B equals C because there’s so much context.
28:08: Like, there’s so much fluff behind the thing and and nuance.
28:13: No, and it’s it, that’s what I think, we’re here to learn.
28:16: That’s like life school.
28:17: That’s becoming a student of life.
28:19: It is, it is learning to.
28:20: sermon and connecting to your intuition.
28:22: But for a lot of people, like that’s very difficult to do because that breaks my heart because we weren’t, we were taken away from that from such a young age.
28:31: I mean, think about it, like, you know, I think as kids we intuitively knew what we were feeling as a great example, like, we knew when we needed to cry.
28:39: Then our parents were over here like, stop crying.
28:42: Why are you so sensitive or why are you so sensitive?
28:44: Like you shouldn’t be angry.
28:46: It’s bad to be angry, but your body needs to release and your intuition and It’s a natural way, it’s like, oh, I’m supposed to be angry.
28:52: I, I need to be angry to release, and it doesn’t mean anything, yeah.
28:56: And so we get taken that away at such a young age that I think really these personal development books, which I’m so excited that you’re writing this, is teaching people how to discern.
29:06: It’s teaching people to be like, what’s true within me?
29:08: How do I listen to myself, how do I listen to the different parts within myself because we’re such multiple beings.
29:14: Thank you for that.
29:15: Yeah.
29:17: I love this.
29:18: I love the perspectives that you get when you hang out with people who are committed to the work.
29:23: And like, it’s just so fun to be like, expanded in this moment with you.
29:30: And that’s so fun for me of like being able to take yourself out of just your lived experience and then be like, oh, and there’s also people that do need all of these beautiful things that exist in our world today for their own journey.
29:46: And like, not everybody is connected to their intuition, and I forget that.
29:49: You forget that shit all the time.
29:51: You know how often we’re, we have conversations about like, just like health or anything in general, and then we are blessed with meeting someone that is just not as well versed in a certain conversation.
30:02: I’m like, I live in an echo chamber.
30:04: Yeah, and then I also I zoomed out and I’m like, oh my God, there’s a million, there’s billions and trillions of people out there that are not living in the same perspective of me and it’s honestly a mind fuck sometimes and I’m not.
30:16: Like, we, yeah, this isn’t your norm.
30:19: This is my norm.
30:21: And it’s so true that no, it’s not, and that’s one of the reasons for the podcast, right, is you’re able to create conversations for things like this, but, and even in interviews like bringing us back to like, oh, this is what we needed to talk about.
30:33: I also think that’s the new leaders that are emerging.
30:36: It’s not the guru anymore telling you how to be, it’s the leaders who leading by example, you know, holding space for you to become.
30:43: Yeah, and you just holding the energy of what it feels like to be in your authentic truth, and that’s all you need to do for people to be like, wow, how did you get there?
30:51: What’s your story?
30:52: What’s your, what’s your, how are you, how are you like this, you know, and then people can find their own path to that.
30:59: But I think it is like you’re here to be that light, that leader, that rebel, that’s like, yeah, there’s a different way you guys, like, here, and I think it’s cool when you can be that really rare example, cause it is.
31:10: at this point to be so rebellious and so outspoken, and so just like in your truth, we need more people that way.
31:17: And I think they will arise, and I think they are arising.
31:20: It’s happening every day, I think.
31:23: More and more people that I’m like having conversations with people that my cousins, my family members, and I’m just like, and they’re like, Oh, I broke this cycle, and I did this, and I said, no, and I’m learning boundaries.
31:35: And I’m like, Yeah, you guys all that shit about me when I started doing this.
31:39: Yeah, yeah.
31:41: Oh my gosh, I, it’s funny the wave of difference.
31:43: I feel like I got to this work like really early on and now I’m feeling this new wave of people just finding it.
31:47: It’s so cool.
31:48: And you know, my ego on my end is like, I did years ago like I’ve been right this whole time.
31:53: Why are you listening to me and then another part of me like kind of just finds like peace and like, oh my God, thank God you didn’t work.
32:00: You know what I mean?
32:00: Thank God you found us on your own.
32:01: It’s so it’s difficult, yeah.
32:04: Yeah, the e goes like, I was here first, but welcome.
32:07: Or when they like send me something.
32:08: I’m like, I read that 10 years ago, but it’s really just like how beautiful.
32:12: Welcome is really what we should all be saying is like welcome.
32:15: People are still figuring it out, and I think they’re all trying to figure it out.
32:19: They’re all trying to speak to that, which is why we’re talking about it.
32:22: Yeah, and I think the only thing that like, I think people are like, oh, but my family in X and XYZ, and it’s like, well, if you didn’t have to learn how How to unconditionally love people that broke a core essence of who you are, you wouldn’t arrive at Christ consciousness, which is love thy enemy, right?
32:43: And it’s like, how do you let go of that victim mentality of, I can’t get there because I have this situation.
32:54: Well, what if we got curious?
32:56: What if we got creative?
32:58: And what if we said, OK, because I went through this, now it makes me a better leader to help somebody who is literally going through this.
33:06: I wouldn’t be able to walk the walk or talk the whatever the term is, if I didn’t actually experience firsthand having abandonment issues from my core family unit.
33:19: Now gives me the courage to be like, OK, if I can make peace with that, and if I can find love and compassion for them, bring it on.
33:29: Like, I’m ready.
33:30: I got the tools, I got the regulation.
33:33: I know what I need in order to be in my center and the compassion when I’m not.
33:39: Let’s go and the strength, you know, like you’re just such a strong individual, and it emanates from you.
33:46: And I feel like when you have those experiences, when you challenge the status quo, or when you have trauma, you go through those things, it shows you the inner strength that you didn’t even realize you have.
33:56: And you, then you’re like, well, if I can get through this, I can get through it, like we talked about this right before we hit record, like we can get through anything full circle, full circle.
34:04: Yeah, I love but the other thing that like I, I just thought about when you were saying that was like, you’re also talking about so much about curiosity.
34:10: So I’m almost thinking as you’re writing this book, that like, your North Star should be curiosity because I think through curiosity, people will find their discernment, their intuition.
34:19: , hm, you just like put my whole life in one word and I freaking love it.
34:25: It’s the projector in me.
34:27: So the projector, look at you too, just projecting away over there and the other night he started telling me all these things and like reflected back.
34:32: He’s like, babe, that’s so beautiful.
34:34: And I was like, it’s the projector in me.
34:36: I was like, you need me for just awesome.
34:39: I mean, no.
34:40: Manny are are my favorite though, like all my best friends are Manny Jens, all my clients, yeah, you guys are like, we’re like the EDD of the manifesting or of the human she is pepe pew pee, but you’re able to see so much that we’re not yet and then like you kind of like are the ones in the forefront like, OK, da da da da da and And then you bring it to us, and we’re like, OK, how do we bring it all into that one offering.
35:03: But I feel like it’s so awesome to be in partnership with a projector, because I feel like she grounds the energy and like can, I can be like this and this and this and this, and she’s like, OK, how about we do all this?
35:13: And I’m like, yes, perfect.
35:14: That’s exactly what I meant.
35:16: Probably so much fun for you guys.
35:18: It’s been fun.
35:19: I don’t know, is it fun on your end?
35:21: I mean, it feels like, you know, when we do something like that, I do feel myself be like, OK, Sam, what if we just do this?
35:27: And it feels organic.
35:29: I don’t know that I’m doing it, so do you like receiving it?
35:31: Oh yeah, you can’t really offend me.
35:33: It’d be really hard to offend me.
35:34: I feel like I’ve worked a lot on that aspect of not Taking things personal.
35:40: I feel like it’s, it’d be pretty hard.
35:42: That’s why I love our dynamic.
35:44: but I’m also open to feedback, because I also know the part of me that’s like, and here and here and here and here.
35:49: And so, as I said, the ADD and that’s authentic partnership in business.
35:55: Yeah, like your gifts are being activated and used, your gifts are being received and You know, it’s beautiful, totally, and it’s also really nice that she’s a man cause she’s a lot more energy than I do.
36:08: Yeah.
36:09: So, you know, and she’s like, are you sure?
36:11: Are you sure?
36:11: I was like, I’ll do that.
36:12: I’ll do that, and I’m always there like, Sam, can you really take on that much?
36:17: but she can, and like I think she also Like brings the energy into the room and that game dynamic, which is really cool.
36:22: So like, even from like a business perspective, like, I knew the podcast, I needed to call in a partnership one to not just split the energy, but like where I’ve realized she’s like poured energy into the podcast, which is really pretty.
36:33: Thanks.
36:35: Guys, I have chills.
36:37: Hm, I’m also an Aquarius, so I can relate to your husband too, like, we’re up in the future sometimes.
36:42: That’s the other reason I appreciate Curtis.
36:43: She’s like, OK, but right now, let’s come back here.
36:46: I’m sure that’s what you do for your husband too.
36:48: It’s like the opposite for sure.
36:50: Yeah, you’re like, that’s great.
36:52: I hear your future thoughts and Yeah.
36:55: Let me project something.
36:56: It’s so true because my husband is definitely in that million, you know, million dollar goal energy, like nothing else in the world matters.
37:04: I need to make my million dollars, and then, and I’m like, and then what?
37:07: That’s his, his journey, yeah, no, yeah, and he like never thinks that far, and I’m like.
37:15: I’m like, so, like, you want that million dollars, so you can have XYZ and it’s like we already have so much, like we already have it all.
37:24: Like, just remember that on your journey to the goal, I’m not saying don’t go for the goal, by all means, I want my first class trip to Japan.
37:31: Yeah, give me that first class seat, you know, it’s like, I want that.
37:34: I want that.
37:35: Is on the cars, he’s gonna go do that, and I’m just gonna remind him to enjoy the now while we are on the journey.
37:43: So beautiful.
37:44: My husband does that for me too.
37:45: He’s like, I’ll be like stressing about something, and he’s like, you know, what’s happening right now?
37:50: Like, in this moment, he’s like, everything’s fine, it’s OK, and he talks very slowly.
37:55: He does.
37:55: He’s so great.
37:56: Yeah, you talked to one conversation.
37:58: He’s just like he’s just a gem of a human, but sometimes I’m like, are you sure you love me?
38:03: Like, I’m so energetic and more loud and all the things, but yeah, you need that balance.
38:09: You need someone to be like, OK, you focus on that, I’ll be over here.
38:13: I’ll just hold the space.
38:15: Yeah, that’s beautiful.
38:17: What is it like being, cause it sounds like you guys are living together.
38:21: Yes, we’ve been living together now for 3 years since we moved back to to the since we moved to the West Coast.
38:26: So how does that, how does that feel?
38:28: Like what does that feel for you now?
38:30: How is it like to be and how long were you living apart, pardon me for asking.
38:34: No, no worries.
38:34: OK, so we were Living together for 6.5 years, and then we were living apart for a year, and now we’ve been living together again for almost 3, 2.5.
38:45: so we’ve been married almost 10 years in May, and congratulations.
38:49: Thank you so much, big milestone.
38:52: And you guys also 10 years, right?
38:53: It’s not married, but together, yeah, yeah, next year is 10 years too, all the same.
38:57: Yeah, it doesn’t matter whatever, yeah, exactly.
38:59: It feels like marriage, whatever that is, yeah, And I think the my my most favorite part of it was when we were living apart because it helped me learn that I am a whole woman outside of my roles and obligations to others.
39:17: So I grew the most during that time.
39:20: And then now living together again, it’s been in very interesting dance of how do I not lose that, and how do I not fall back into the old traps of codependency and comfort and cuddles and serving, and You know, the role of a wife, and then how do I also honor this like super independent, strong woman that I am, and my identity that I’ve cultivated.
39:49: So, yeah, every day it’s just like, OK, yeah, exactly.
39:53: How do you do that?
39:54: You have to, one, take time out away.
39:58: Most important thing, at least 1 night a week, I think I take 2 nights a week, To allow your feminine to play in whatever way she wants.
40:09: Sometimes it’s a bath, sometimes that’s painting, sometimes it’s dancing, sometimes that’s writing, sometimes that’s whatever she wants to flow with, right?
40:16: making sure that she knows that she has containers for her to be fully herself without the roles that she plays in society.
40:28: and then having a partner that like loves that about you.
40:33: that really celebrates your individual being that you are, that isn’t threatened by you needing spaciousness.
40:46: and a lot of it has to do with, you know, the partner you choose.
40:50: And oh I know so many people that are like, oh, I can’t take a night off for myself, my husband’s gonna, like, be like, I don’t want to take care of the kids, I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to do that.
40:59: choosing a partner and having those conversations and getting to that place of like, hey, this doesn’t mean that I don’t love you.
41:04: It doesn’t mean that I don’t love the family.
41:06: It just means that I need to learn how to love myself.
41:10: So it was a lot of hard.
41:10: It’s really hard because I think men also depend on women in a lot of ways.
41:14: And I think what’s interesting to what you’re talking about, there’s this dynamic of being a powerful woman, being a business owner, doing your own thing, allowing your creativity to flow, while also taking care of your husband.
41:24: And I think a lot of, especially men.
41:26: that are really successful, which sounds like your husband is very career driven, from what I know about him.
41:31: You know, he’s focusing on that.
41:33: And I hear that happen all the time and like relationship dynamics where they’re like, well, he’s just focused on making money and being the provider and who else is in take care of the kids.
41:45: And a lot of women are being faced with the question of like, can I do both?
41:50: Can I take care of the kids?
41:51: Can I also, take care of the home, make him dinner when he gets home from work.
41:58: can I, you know, and somehow find time for my own passion project.
42:04: And it’s a very difficult dynamic to be in because, one, a lot of women that are waking up to wanting that, it’s not like the relationships start off like that.
42:15: And so a lot of them are be like having like whiplash, and they’re like, Oh, what do you mean?
42:19: You want me to?
42:19: Taking care of the kids.
42:20: You want me to start cooking for myself?
42:21: I have to order myself food.
42:23: What do you mean?
42:24: Like laundry?
42:25: Who’s done laundry before?
42:27: And so it’s more of that, you know, like, it’s, I’m sorry, it’s so true, so true.
42:32: And, you know, a training camp, a retraining training.
42:38: I think what’s happening with this specifically is that men are being invited to find somewhere in the middle like the balance, because women are actually saying I do deserve to be in my feminine expression.
42:49: I want to be me.
42:51: I want to find who I am outside of taking care of the household things, which is a lot harder to say, but you have to kind of find those conversations in the in the it could start with 10 minutes a day is something I do with my clients I have kids.
43:03: 10 minutes a day when you wake up, before you hop on social media, I know it’s hard.
43:08: I know it’s so hard.
43:10: Before you go and wake up the kids before.
43:13: Or you go make your cup of coffee.
43:15: Whether you have a journal or not, just take 10 minutes to just sit in silence.
43:20: If you want to write, right.
43:22: If you don’t, just sit and tap into your energy and your essence for the day, and remember that you are more than just a mom and a wife and somebody who creates for the world.
43:33: Mhm.
43:34: So good.
43:35: Yeah.
43:36: Well, at this stage, we ask everyone a very personal question.
43:40: At the end of the episode, where we ask you, like, where in your life, I mean you already talked a little bit, but this can be life, relationship, business, friendship, whatever you want it to be.
43:48: Are you craving to be more fully expressed?
43:51: friendships for sure.
43:53: How so?
43:54: Tell us more.
43:54: Tell us.
43:57: I think what I’m really coming into this year is I don’t have to perform to receive.
44:05: In all aspects of work and personal relationships.
44:09: And I’ve noticed that like, when I enter rooms with other beautiful, powerful women, I’m like, oh, am I going to be up to par with that?
44:18: You know, am I going to be able to deliver what I receive?
44:21: And it’s like, what if you sometimes you just receive.
44:24: What if sometimes you’re meant to be in that room, not because you have something to offer, but because you need to receive something.
44:30: You know, so I’m like trying to learn how to balance, like, challenging the hierarchical structures of, like, what it means to be this like, fully embodied human being, spiritual being in a human form.
44:43: there are levels that you can see, right, of like, oh wow, that person is so in their truth and so authentic and so embodied and thriving on all cylinders, and then not to feel intimid, but like, have the confidence to just be like, well, I’m good enough too, so I’m being challenged with that in friendships.
45:03: , it’s like just showing up and like, I’m just going to receive.
45:07: Yeah, and like just trust that like whatever your authentic expression is in that moment, they also received something.
45:15: You also don’t need to know what that something is, don’t need to calculate it, don’t need to overanalyze it, don’t need to predict it, don’t need to ask.
45:24: Did you receive something from me?
45:25: Was this conversation OK?
45:27: Yeah, which is hard because I think it’s, you know.
45:28: And I think this is the definition of a belief express friendship, which we talk about, like, I don’t have to come in and perform.
45:34: I don’t have to meet your energy if I’m not at it, like, where am I really at?
45:38: Like, it’s like the simple thing that I talk about all the time, where it’s like, you find a find a friend a friendship, and they’re like so happy, but you’re sad, and you’re like, fuck, and old me would have been like, I have to be happy because you’re happy and I need to meet your energy of joy, versus like, I can honor your joy.
45:53: And I can honor my sadness, and then vice versa, like, I’m sad, I’m really in the shit, I’m really low, I don’t have a lot of energy.
46:00: I love you and I can still honor your, your joy, your high.
46:04: And I think that is the dynamic, I think, of a fully expressed friendship, because you, you’re literally allowed to both be authentically in your own.
46:12: That’s so beautiful.
46:13: So, I’m excited.
46:14: I mean, I’ve seen it in my marriage, and like I’ve built that in my marriage, so like now I’m like so excited to have that friendships, where it’s like, I don’t, I don’t want to bring the vibes down, so I’m gonna cancel my plans, and it’s like, no, she’ll show up, show up, be like, I’m having a shitty day.
46:28: Or I’m low, or I’m tired, yeah, feels better.
46:31: And then what I’ve noticed in my own personal experience, like we were just talking about this with a friend.
46:35: We went out to lunch and I was like, not having the energy, but then after I felt better because I acknowledged the fact that I didn’t have the energy, and I was like, wait, I actually feel better that I went to hang out with my friend, even though I didn’t have the energy when I got over there.
46:48: Sometimes just being the energy is just so nourishing.
46:51: It’s probably why I love this so much too, but just like we were saying about men that get energy from women, so do women get from women.
46:57: Like, women are the yeah.
46:59: of energy.
47:00: So yeah, of course.
47:01: Also, you just come with like the most amazing energy.
47:05: Like you wouldn’t even need to speak.
47:06: You could literally just sit in that chair and I’d be like, I’m feeling these vibes.
47:10: OK, thanks.
47:11: Just like, I mean I wish compliment.
47:15: Thank you.
47:16: I love your vibe.
47:17: Yeah, yeah.
47:18: And you have a very like grounded, peaceful presence, which is so interesting.
47:24: Because you are so powerful and oftentimes powerful women are very like loud and like and and they talk fast and they’re just very dynamic, but you are dynamic, but yeah, I get it.
47:35: You have a great presence.
47:36: It’s very powerful.
47:37: And your presence is a good word.
47:38: Yeah, presence now.
47:41: It actually like made me slow down, which is really nice.
47:45: It’s a really nice change to have a woman.
47:48: I mean, my husband does it to me all the time, but to have a woman in here that’s like, la, but the brakes.
47:53: Yeah, no, it’s nice you slowed down the talk and it felt very present because because of the opening.
48:00: Oh, cause I dropped you in, you dropped me in.
48:03: There we go.
48:03: 100%.
48:04: Full circles, everybody involved.
48:06: I love that.
48:07: Well, thank you so much for coming today.
48:08: Thank you so much for making the try.
48:11: So worth it.
48:12: It means so much to us.
48:13: It really does.
48:14: Thank you so much for having me.
48:15: Where?
48:16: Can people find you and where can they find your amazing new venture?
48:21: So Instagram would be the best place to find both.
48:25: So my personal is Sana Akan, just my full name.
48:29: And then Growth Club is Join Growth Club on Instagram, and then our website is joingrowthclub.co.
48:36: And specifically Growth Club is in LA.
48:38: So like if there’s an LA listener, go out.
48:42: And we are intention.
48:43: in person, not online.
48:46: I am all zoomed out.
48:48: I cannot sit in front of a computer.
48:50: I want to feel your energy.
48:51: I want you to feel my energy.
48:53: Come in person.
48:53: We have beautiful dinner parties with a private chef.
48:56: 3.
48:57: I want to come.
48:58: Have fun.
48:59: It’s so good.
49:00: Yeah, we can.
49:01: Yes.
49:02: And then we do curated conversation prompts that act as portals into unlimited opportunities for self-discovery and Inspiring ideas to flow.
49:13: So good.
49:14: All right.
49:15: I love you.
49:16: Thank you.
49:16: Thank you so much.
49:18: Thank you so much for tuning in.
49:20: We really appreciate you being here.
49:22: If you enjoyed this episode, we’d be grateful if you could leave us a review and share it with a friend.
49:27: Also, we would love to hear from you.
49:29: Reach out to us on Instagram and let us know where you feel inspired to express yourself as you embrace this next era.
49:36: We are here to support you and encourage you.
49:39: See you on the next one.
0:03: We are your hosts, Samantha and Karenna.
0:06: This is a show where we invite you into your fullest express self and life, relationships, and business.
0:11: We believe that if you crave more, you are meant for more.
0:14: There is room for all of us to be fully expressed.
0:17: Along with the show, we’ve created a virtual community to connect you with fellow listeners.
0:22: Make sure to check out the fully expressed community membership.
0:25: You’ll find the link to join in the show notes and on our website.
0:28: So excited to see you there.
0:30: Enjoy this new episode.
0:34: Welcome back to another episode of the Fully expressed podcast.
0:39: Today we have a beautiful returning guest, Sana Akhand.
0:43: She is an embodiment coach, co-founder of Growth Club, and host of Thriving in Love.
0:50: Sanna gained national attention for defying societal norms when she and her husband chose to live in separate apartments while remaining happily married, a love story featured in The New York Times, Good Morning America, and many more publications.
1:05: Sanna’s mission is to help.
1:06: People break free from societal expectations and embrace their authenticity to cultivate deeper connections and thrive in conscious relationships.
1:16: Through Growth Club, a Los Angeles-based community for conscious leaders, and her podcast, she inspires people to align with their own truth, create a meaningful impact, and live with both passion and purpose.
1:29: Welcome.
1:30: How does it feel to receive it?
1:31: Powerful.
1:32: Yeah, like everything I’ve been working towards has arrived.
1:36: What does that mean?
1:38: Holy shit.
1:40: Like, like everything that I’ve been working through has arrived.
1:43: When you finally connect the dots between everything that happened in your life.
1:49: And it just finally clicks into place, like, oh, that’s why I was never happy in the brawls in the places with the people that I was trying so hard to fit in with.
2:04: And it’s because I wasn’t meant to be there.
2:07: I was meant to be here.
2:10: Yeah, I’m so happy for you.
2:12: Literally.
2:14: I mean just the energy in this room, you can you could feel it.
2:17: So thanks for coming.
2:18: I appreciate that so much because I know my husband shared the story a little bit in there before you came on, but I think it took me a really long time and I’m I, I would, I wonder if you relate to this about having that unconventional dynamic or going a different route than the normal process and having to sit in that by yourself because you don’t see it in society or you don’t see it in the world and you’re like, is this wrong?
2:43: Am I crazy?
2:44: Does that relate?
2:45: I feel like so hard, hard.
2:48: Hardest, am I crazy has been a running theme in my life for a long time.
2:54: I mean, even just stepping into the space of spirituality in general, it’s like, oh, that’s woo woo, that’s not grounded in reality.
3:00: And it’s like, well, what if it could be?
3:03: And like I’ve just always approached things as more of a curiosity versus a judgment, and I’m like, oh, everybody else is judging this.
3:11: Why?
3:12: And that opened doors for me to travel through portals of like deeper self-discovery within myself.
3:19: And I was like, Oh, OK.
3:21: Well, they’re judging it.
3:22: That means a part of me is judging it because that’s reflecting back to me in my external reality.
3:27: Why, what part of me is judging it first and foremost.
3:30: Second, why?
3:32: Where did that belief system come from?
3:34: And how can I challenge it and arrive at my own truth?
3:37: Yeah, I feel like you’ve been doing that your whole life.
3:39: So like, I, if you guys know Sanna is a returning guest, and we had her on the podcast is really talk about your marriage, where you decided to take a break and live separately throughout your marriage.
3:51: We’ll talk about being a wife, but not from being a lover.
3:55: I love it.
3:56: Yeah, most importantly, just to let you know yourself again, but I also want to like reflect back to you, like you and I were getting dinner in Culver City City when I was out there for a conference, and you were just talking about how you’ve always been invited to think more curiosity, really like, I guess challenge the judgments or the way that things are, and I think it’s why you’re in this room today, because, God, this could be an emotional episode.
4:21: I was like, why are we all crying already?
4:23: , because it’s the reason why you’re in this room today, right?
4:26: Like it’s just, it’s been a part of your story.
4:28: So I’m so excited to just peel back that story and then also for people to know that what’s coming is we’re also going to talk about your conscious decision to be child-free.
4:38: And Sam and I have been talking so much about motherhood, and for the most part, I thought we were going to be on the same page.
4:44: I we are.
4:46: about motherhood, but we want to also represent a different perspective, you know, Nothing about this podcast is like there’s, this is the way you’re supposed to do it.
4:53: The the invitation here is for you to find your way.
4:56: And you’re just a living expression of that.
5:00: And we all are are unique expressions of how love and life wants to flow through us and around us.
5:07: And it’s about personal choice, right?
5:10: And what does personal choice mean?
5:11: It means how do we make sure that the decisions that we’re making In our life are reflective of who we are, not who we have been conditioned to be.
5:22: And that is the journey of what it means to be consciously child freak, right?
5:28: It’s not about, oh, for a long time, I thought I didn’t want kids because who wants to pass on all this generational trauma?
5:36: I mean, really want to give this the next one.
5:39: And then on the opposite end of that, who wants to bring in children into this fucked up world?
5:45: And I was stuck in that limbo for quite a while and then I was like, well, neither of those have anything to do with me personally choosing.
5:54: It’s about like conditions outside of me.
5:57: , so this year, so I turned 35, and this was the greatest year for me to really tap in and ask myself all of the questions because as we know, women are on a biological clock and it’s clicking and it’s ticking away and if you don’t make the choice, I don’t want the choice to be taken.
6:19: Away from me before I had the ability to make the choice for myself.
6:23: So I prioritize that over everything this year.
6:27: I’m curious, as someone who sometimes feels one way about it, and then another way, do you, are you open as well to like, what if at 40 years old, you’re like, actually, I want to be a mother?
6:39: Yes.
6:40: OK.
6:41: I’m so curious about that.
6:42: I always say like if I know so many beautiful women who are like, oh, I didn’t think I wanted children, and then I had a dream or a journey and I met my spirit baby and the baby was like, hey, I’m ready to arrive.
6:54: And if a baby wants to come into my dreams or psychedelic experience and tell me it wants to come through, who am I to say no?
7:03: Yes, absolutely.
7:04: If that moment comes and arrives in that way, or any other like synchronistic magical way, I am totally open to it.
7:12: And if I personally choose one day, like afterwards, if I can’t have my own kids anymore.
7:19: And I’m like, you know what, something feels like it’s missing.
7:22: I’m, there’s millions of babies out there that need a loving home, and I would be more than happy to provide that for them.
7:28: Something you’re talking to is the flexibility of choice, because I think sometimes we think that like once I’m a good choice, it’s the only thing I could stand by.
7:35: And as former people pleasers or anything with the background, you’re like always be like, well, when I say I have to commit, I have to commit to, you know, and you’re talking about like in my decision right now, this is what I’m clear on, and I’m also open for something else showing me differently in the.
7:51: Future, and I just don’t think we’d give ourselves enough permission to even be in that limbo because it’s quote unquote, unsafe in a lot of ways, and it feels a little gray and it’s like, but then also it also feels very convicting and true, and this is what’s real and you’re talking to like, oh, I can be real in this moment.
8:10: And this is what I choose for the time being, and if something changes, it’s OK to change.
8:15: Yeah.
8:15: I think fluidity is the best way to live.
8:18: I think it’s colorful.
8:19: I think it’s vibrant.
8:20: I think it’s dynamic.
8:22: I think it’s like the world, you have one little life, why not make it the best one ever with like all of the options and opportunities and pivots and dips and valleys and You know, like, why do we have to choose one path and then stick with it for 50+ years?
8:44: It doesn’t make sense in my like little brain.
8:47: It just doesn’t click.
8:49: I love that so much.
8:50: I, I think it’s so resonant for anyone who’s like artistic or even in human design, we talk about it a lot, but like I’m, I’m a manifesting generator, and every time someone asks me, or I would Say when people ask me what I’ve done, I’ve done a lot of different things, you know, and, and it’s so crazy because I never understood.
9:09: I thought that was weird because in society you’re like, pick a niche, pick one thing, do one thing, and I’m like, but I can’t.
9:16: Yeah, I physically can’t.
9:17: Like I just get bored and then I want to move on.
9:20: Like some things have sustained my interest forever, but other things I’m just like, OK, I’ve, I feel like I’ve felt what I need to feel and move forward.
9:27: Like, how does that fit in for you in terms of breaking free from societal norms, or even just on a day to day basis that fluidity you’re speaking to, like, how has that showed up in your own life?
9:38: Well, I’m building Growth Club right now, which is a brand new company, and it has been challenging me with this fluidity of, oh, this is what you’re prac like this is what you teach, this is what you preach.
9:51: Can you practice it?
9:53: And I have been somebody who spent 10 years in New York, built businesses, and sold them, and I have built it in a very masculine way.
10:04: A, B, C, Ty.
10:07: And with Growth Club, it is, it cannot be that way.
10:12: It’s not flowing through me that way.
10:16: Anytime it does, I feel resistance, and I see that reflected back to me in a lack of ticket sales, a lack of energy in our social media, a lack of just resonance in the audience, and I’m noticing I’m able to pick up on these like energies now, and I’m like, Oh, that’s not clicking.
10:37: I’m able to pivot a lot faster.
10:39: I’m able to notice and shift and tap in and see and move it faster.
10:46: So, it’s really cool because when you are opening up your channel to co-create with a greater energy, you have to put the ego on the side.
10:59: And the ego is the one that’s like, oh, A B C to Z, da da da, your higher self that is guiding you on the journey is going to be like, now humanity is shifting here, now it’s consciousness is shifting there.
11:12: Where’s the balance?
11:13: Where is the dance happening?
11:14: Where’s the dance moving to?
11:17: So you have to just like be and flow with that.
11:19: How do you do that?
11:20: How did you find?
11:21: OK, let’s let’s start from like, how did you create the trust to be able to do that within yourself?
11:26: What is your relationship like with your intuition?
11:28: What does that mean to you?
11:30: Your intuition is the gut feeling that you have and it makes your heart race and people think that’s anxiety.
11:39: And your anxiety is the voice of the ego saying This doesn’t, this isn’t familiar to me.
11:46: I don’t know what to do with it.
11:48: So making peace with befriending your anxiety in a way of, hey, anxiety, like, I know this isn’t familiar, but let’s just try it out.
11:58: We can always go back and do it the masculine way.
12:03: And I don’t know if this is going to work with Growth Club, but I’m along for the ride, you know, and it’s just like making peace with trial and error is OK, failure is OK.
12:14: Above all, what’s not OK is not trusting myself and listening to what Gary Vee is saying about marketing.
12:25: It’s true, yeah.
12:27: I also think like bringing this back to like a little bit about like you designed to be consciously child free, something you said before we click record, you said you could birth other things.
12:36: And I’m so curious, like, what you’re saying and like in your perspective, like, what you’re birthing with growth cubs seems more intuitively RAM versus logically RAM.
12:48: Yeah, which the mother energy Mo energy, which I want to bring that back.
12:52: How does that land when you hear that?
12:54: Like, wow, I’m actually doing it.
12:57: Like, it’s, I understand why people would be scared.
13:01: It’s such Great unknown.
13:03: It’s a dark void of like nothingness, and you can’t see.
13:09: And I always say if you can see it clearly, then you’re on somebody else’s path, you’re not on your own, right?
13:15: So that’s a good one.
13:16: Yeah, sorry, we do this thing.
13:18: We need to tell every guest before they get on here.
13:20: I know, if something hits, yeah, we all like we do the silent clap.
13:24: I love that.
13:25: Just to tell you, yeah, I hear what you mean.
13:30: Yeah, and I get it, like, and again, it depends on your human design.
13:34: It truly does.
13:35: Not everybody is a 46 like I am, that is in the journey of being the one who wants to figure it out and find the answers, and then come back and share.
13:45: Are you a projector?
13:46: Oh, you’re both projectors.
13:48: And then some people are like the generators and, you know, my husband is a generator, and he’s very, very good at like, OK, tell me like how to do it, and I’ll like take 10X.
14:00: And for me, it’s like, that’s not fun for me.
14:03: That’s easy for me to be like, oh, I could do that.
14:07: I want the challenge and I cause I want to grow.
14:11: I don’t want life to be easy.
14:14: I want it to be fun.
14:16: Has that been something that’s always been innate in you though?
14:19: Like, such a rebel, like my whole life.
14:22: OK, talk about that.
14:23: Well, it was a good girl, I think like aquarian.
14:27: So my north is an aquaria.
14:29: Oh, OK, yeah, there you go.
14:32: She’s yeah, I know I so much from your podcast.
14:36: Oh yeah, yeah, I talked about I was like, oh my gosh, I, yeah, yeah.
14:42: The rebel and I love what you said that we have all houses that we can tap into.
14:48: Yeah, you know that now, like all the time.
14:52: Yeah, your episode was honestly life shifting for me, so everybody should go listen to it right now.
14:59: It’s so true.
15:00: I mean, we are all of it.
15:01: We’re we’re, I was just telling someone the other day, like, I believe in astrology so much and I am so passionate about it, but I also think we can transcend it.
15:09: I feel like we can, yeah, I feel like we can transcend all of it, any of it, any challenge, like, it’s only us putting the limitation on our ourselves.
15:18: That’s why I’m so careful in the way I share it or how I encourage people to use it because it it can also be a trap like anything else.
15:25: So true.
15:26: I believe that about spirituality too.
15:28: I believe that about religion.
15:29: I believe that all of it all of it, yeah, capitalism, all of it, yeah, beautiful, so good.
15:36: Yeah, my husband’s an Aquarius, so he’s also like always down for the change showing the way.
15:41: I love it.
15:42: He’s, yeah, that’s a very karmic connection.
15:45: oh my gosh, yes.
15:46: I invisible string gear charge.
15:48: Read together?
15:49: No, you did tell me to, but you.
15:52: It’s fun, yeah.
15:54: I’d always can’t worry, like, I don’t wanna fall into those traps of like, oh, I believe this to be like the truth.
16:01: But I like your strategy, I know.
16:03: Yeah, that’s like everything you’re talking about right now.
16:06: But it’s a slippery slope, like, you can fall into it.
16:09: I mean, I have, in so many ways where I was like, oh, this is the only way, and then my husband is like, no, it’s not.
16:16: He’s like, there’s many ways.
16:18: Yeah, he’s like, just cause it works for you doesn’t mean that’s a universal truth.
16:23: And I was like, but then what is universal truth?
16:25: He’s like, there is not.
16:26: I think truth is truth.
16:28: I think love is the universal truth, but that word’s overused as well, but I feel like that heart centered love, like, I think that’s the only universal truth.
16:37: And rich or poor, you’re always desiring love.
16:40: Yeah, all all of us, I think that’s the unifier between all socioeconomic backgrounds, all cultures, all people.
16:47: That’s the only language I think is real.
16:49: Everything else is like interpreted.
16:52: Every time I used, I used to be such a like, this is the truth, you know, or this is my facts, and then I think over time, as I’ve had these amazing conversations or met people and see different perspectives, you’re like, I know nothing, and there’s no truth, that’s true.
17:06: Beauty of it is like returning to that student and also learning to master the teacher.
17:11: Mhm.
17:12: I mean, that’s what’s amazing about your company you’re building, is that you, you’ve lived this one way for so long, what a gift that you can actually be strong enough or like open enough to be moving in a totally operating in a totally different way.
17:28: It’s, it’s so much resistance, and it’s like, because of that, I’m like, oh, OK, this is gonna take longer.
17:34: I’m not gonna hit my goals as quickly as I probably could have.
17:39: But to me, Moving now, building Girls Club isn’t about the number of the people.
17:44: It’s about the humans that are walking in through the door, trusting me for providing them with the space where they get to discover more of who they are.
17:53: And like that is such a freaking honor.
17:56: That’s so beautiful.
17:57: So what’s real quick, I want to know what’s the resistance that you’re talking about?
18:00: Like what are some of the blocks that come up?
18:02: Well, the you go, right?
18:03: It’s like, oh, well, like, you know, put in money on this Facebook ad and let it.
18:09: Attract the right people, whatever, and it’s just like, you get that gut feeling of an ick, and you know how people have that in relationships and dating all the time.
18:18: It’s like, oh, I don’t know what it was about him, but I just got the ick, and it’s like, I get that with my business.
18:23: Like they coming through and I’m just like, ick, like, oh, like that’s so bro marketing fear mongering tactics.
18:31: That’s not what I’m doing here, but it’s familiar, and it’s what everybody’s telling.
18:37: Telling you on social media, all the gurus are like, oh, like, you know, have this, what’s it called, like feeling that something is not going to be available forever like scarcity or, yeah, yeah, yeah, like go after it hard so then or like tell them it’s like limited spots get it before it’s gone.
18:57: Oh, that kind of energy, yeah.
18:59: And I’m like, yeah, I get how that works, and I can see that clearly and I’ve done it before.
19:05: And it’s never really felt good.
19:07: I’m like, I don’t want people’s nervous systems to go into fucking havoc while making a decision, and if they should work with me or when they come to you and they’re like, I made it in the spot, but it that fran and it also looks like catalyzing or like power energy of like you have I got in.
19:22: This, and I can like look up to you.
19:24: I feel so special.
19:25: I get to work with you.
19:26: It’s just not, yeah, which I think the age of guru was done anyways.
19:30: It’s like about realizing we’re all one.
19:32: We’re all there’s no we’re all our own inner gurus.
19:35: You have your inner guru and you tap in and listen.
19:39: We all share that.
19:40: We all like have the wisdom inside of us.
19:43: Yeah, yeah, literally.
19:44: And like my path is never going to work for you and your path is not gonna work for me.
19:47: We can inspire each other, and that’s the beauty of connection and conversations and sharing stories.
19:54: And it’s like, wow, that’s such an interesting way to live and be.
19:58: Let me take pockets of that that I like, and let me leave the rest to you living your truth and implement that in my life.
20:06: And if that vibes with me, thank you so much for inspiring.
20:11: That in me.
20:12: And you can feel that there’s a difference in that kind of energy.
20:15: Like when someone says something or something that really lands and you’re like, I was meant to hear that, like earlier today when she was talking about the CEO million dollar thing, you’re like, I needed to hear that.
20:24: That energy feels like more like, that’s for me.
20:28: There’s a different energy where it’s like, oh, if you, if I get that thing, I’m gonna receive the other thing.
20:35: You know what I mean?
20:35: Like that’s different versus like, oh, that was for me to like, if I do that marketing thing, or if I say their strategy, or if I invest in the way that they said to invest, I’m gonna be the millionaire, like you’re, you’re saying you’re looking for the logic of like, oh, A plus B equals C, versus like, oh, A sounds really nice.
20:53: Yeah, so now I want J.
20:54: Yeah, and it’s like there isn’t like a direct like a linear line, like a linear line to finding that for yourself.
21:01: It’s it really comes down to like when you said this.
21:03: Sana, there is no universal truth, but there is your truth.
21:06: And I think the more that you self trust that something’s supposed to land, that your universal truth is you through that.
21:15: Exactly.
21:17: Yeah.
21:18: It’s interesting too that you’re saying it feels icky because I just saw a video talking about frequency, and that authenticity is actually higher on the frequency scale than love.
21:28: And so authentic love is like the ultimate, but it It is like, I think we’re all coming into that resonance of like, does this feel authentic?
21:36: And it has to feel true to you.
21:37: Like we can’t force it anymore.
21:39: We can’t fake it.
21:40: We can’t show up and like try to be someone else or do something else cause it does.
21:44: It gives you the ick.
21:45: You’re just like, and what if there was no hierarchy?
21:49: And what if authenticity was a frequency that exists and love is a frequency that exists and you just get to build the bridges in between if you want both?
22:00: Yeah, absolutely.
22:01: And then you get to juggle all the frequencies you desire, like, frequency, what is frequency?
22:06: Energy.
22:07: What is the 3D, the manifestation of that energy in matter form.
22:12: So all frequencies are happening simultaneously in coexistence, right here, right now, and whatever.
22:22: desire is already happening in one of those frequencies.
22:26: You just have to figure out how to collapse the distance between that frequency and where you are here, right?
22:32: Like attune yourself to that.
22:34: I think it’s so interesting how the programming of hierarchy is so embedded in us of like better than or further than or smarter than or greater than.
22:44: And we’re all having to like deprogram ourselves from that, literally, and that’s the resistance, that’s like, think about it though, one way of life has gotten you to this point and your life is good and comfortable and something you’re proud of, and then it gets challenged.
23:01: Oh, what they call it a death to the ego for a reason, right?
23:05: I don’t believe in an eagle.
23:06: Death, I think that ego is very powerful and very beautiful, and it’s my favorite part of me.
23:11: And I also know that there’s another way that is also available, and I’m just too curious not to try it.
23:19: Speak a little more into that, the like the ego death and how you view the ego instead.
23:24: I think the ego just needs to realize that it’s not alone.
23:29: It’s, it has the heart to support it as a partner, not as something lower or less than.
23:38: It’s a two-way street, and like when the ego we hit burnout, we get exhausted, we have anxiety, we have mental health issues, that was manifest as chronic illnesses because the ego is being overdriven, over like, override it, yeah, yeah.
23:54: And the heart is like, hey, I’m here, just tap in.
23:58: Hey, I’m available to help.
24:00: But again, the feminine needs to feel safe enough for her to awaken and arise in order for her to help out.
24:10: And the ego, if you’re anxiety, if you’re letting anxiety win over being like, you know what, something’s happening in me and I’m going to surrender to this, and I’m gonna let it flow, then she can And rise.
24:22: But that’s what people say, like the death of the ego is like, Oh, kill the ego, let the feminine awaken.
24:26: And it’s like, but then the feminine will feel alone.
24:29: Yeah, it’s like, how do you integrate it with the heart and work as one cohesive cohesive unit?
24:35: It sounds like is what you’re saying.
24:37: Exactly.
24:37: Like it’s like co-creative partnership within you.
24:39: It’s the masculine and feminine within you.
24:42: It is the mother and father within you.
24:45: Tap into both.
24:47: And then you are the sovereign being that gets to be like, OK, mom said this, dad said this, what do I think is the best aligned action for me here in this moment?
24:58: Not leaning all the way in either direction.
25:01: It’s creative.
25:02: It’s a turning your life into art.
25:05: It is having fun with all the options and then choosing the one that excites you the most.
25:12: I’m curious in your perspective, like speaking about this, and like, literally treating life as art or creativity, which you might relate to as well, is like, how do you navigate not only your ego, but other people’s egos, or other people’s projections onto you, or like family dynamics or culture dynamics.
25:29: Like, I know people are just, I mean, I think they they innately know that they’re craving creative freedom.
25:36: I think it’s like their birthright, like they they know it and then like like they want to be pulled in a certain direction.
25:42: But they’re not only met with their own ego, but they’re also met with other people’s egos.
25:47: As an empath, and as somebody who absorbs a lot of other people’s energy, energetic boundaries are everything.
25:54: Other people’s egos are their limiting perceptions of what is available to them, and you see that and say, interesting, that may be true for you, but I’m gonna to go figure out.
26:06: If it’s true for me or not.
26:07: And if I find out that it was true, I’ll come back and I’ll have the humbleness to say you’re right.
26:13: I tried it though for myself.
26:15: Yeah, so like my sister a little bit.
26:18: She’s very much like, if I try it it works, I’ll let you know.
26:21: If it doesn’t, it doesn’t, not my problem, which is kind of what you’re talking to, and it’s like this, it feels like strength, it feels like rebelly, it feels like inner rebel, it feels Like inner justice to like, I can still make my own choice, let me choose.
26:33: Yeah.
26:34: And like, I hate learning from other people’s mistakes, and that’s a huge weakness that I do have.
26:39: And like, I think my life would be a million times easier if I was the type of person that enjoyed learning from other people’s mistakes.
26:47: I’ll never read a personal development book and be like, Oh, I won’t try that how you do it, you know?
26:54: I think that, well, you’re talking to something that’s so interesting because I think so many people do, you know, they want to prevent something from happening.
27:01: And what?
27:02: Because I don’t know what that is.
27:03: What are they preventing?
27:05: They’re preventing some kind of pain that’s gonna happen to them.
27:08: It’s definitely you’re already in pain.
27:10: You’re already suffering from this disconnection that I agree.
27:13: I mean, there’s there’s this in the first place, which I understand, but they’re like, oh, but you solved this.
27:20: I need to know how I’ve solved that.
27:22: And I do.
27:23: I think like through that process, like you find discernment, you find, which is what we’re talking to here, it’s like, you do find discernment, but you do gotta walk the fear.
27:32: Yes, maybe you get a guide from like a personal development, maybe it sparks something, but it’s the discernment and the intuition that you end up learning that I don’t think there’s a book out there that says, you know what, I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but I’m gonna teach you how to discern between the different parts within yourself.
27:48: I’m trying to write that book.
27:49: It’s so hard.
27:50: I can’t wait to read it, yeah.
27:51: Like you’re probably writing that book.
27:53: I forgot about it, you are, but it’s hard, right?
27:56: Because, and I think about this too, like I talked to so many of my coaching friends and even in like our products and our businesses, right?
28:02: Like, it’s so difficult to say A plus B equals C because there’s so much context.
28:08: Like, there’s so much fluff behind the thing and and nuance.
28:13: No, and it’s it, that’s what I think, we’re here to learn.
28:16: That’s like life school.
28:17: That’s becoming a student of life.
28:19: It is, it is learning to.
28:20: sermon and connecting to your intuition.
28:22: But for a lot of people, like that’s very difficult to do because that breaks my heart because we weren’t, we were taken away from that from such a young age.
28:31: I mean, think about it, like, you know, I think as kids we intuitively knew what we were feeling as a great example, like, we knew when we needed to cry.
28:39: Then our parents were over here like, stop crying.
28:42: Why are you so sensitive or why are you so sensitive?
28:44: Like you shouldn’t be angry.
28:46: It’s bad to be angry, but your body needs to release and your intuition and It’s a natural way, it’s like, oh, I’m supposed to be angry.
28:52: I, I need to be angry to release, and it doesn’t mean anything, yeah.
28:56: And so we get taken that away at such a young age that I think really these personal development books, which I’m so excited that you’re writing this, is teaching people how to discern.
29:06: It’s teaching people to be like, what’s true within me?
29:08: How do I listen to myself, how do I listen to the different parts within myself because we’re such multiple beings.
29:14: Thank you for that.
29:15: Yeah.
29:17: I love this.
29:18: I love the perspectives that you get when you hang out with people who are committed to the work.
29:23: And like, it’s just so fun to be like, expanded in this moment with you.
29:30: And that’s so fun for me of like being able to take yourself out of just your lived experience and then be like, oh, and there’s also people that do need all of these beautiful things that exist in our world today for their own journey.
29:46: And like, not everybody is connected to their intuition, and I forget that.
29:49: You forget that shit all the time.
29:51: You know how often we’re, we have conversations about like, just like health or anything in general, and then we are blessed with meeting someone that is just not as well versed in a certain conversation.
30:02: I’m like, I live in an echo chamber.
30:04: Yeah, and then I also I zoomed out and I’m like, oh my God, there’s a million, there’s billions and trillions of people out there that are not living in the same perspective of me and it’s honestly a mind fuck sometimes and I’m not.
30:16: Like, we, yeah, this isn’t your norm.
30:19: This is my norm.
30:21: And it’s so true that no, it’s not, and that’s one of the reasons for the podcast, right, is you’re able to create conversations for things like this, but, and even in interviews like bringing us back to like, oh, this is what we needed to talk about.
30:33: I also think that’s the new leaders that are emerging.
30:36: It’s not the guru anymore telling you how to be, it’s the leaders who leading by example, you know, holding space for you to become.
30:43: Yeah, and you just holding the energy of what it feels like to be in your authentic truth, and that’s all you need to do for people to be like, wow, how did you get there?
30:51: What’s your story?
30:52: What’s your, what’s your, how are you, how are you like this, you know, and then people can find their own path to that.
30:59: But I think it is like you’re here to be that light, that leader, that rebel, that’s like, yeah, there’s a different way you guys, like, here, and I think it’s cool when you can be that really rare example, cause it is.
31:10: at this point to be so rebellious and so outspoken, and so just like in your truth, we need more people that way.
31:17: And I think they will arise, and I think they are arising.
31:20: It’s happening every day, I think.
31:23: More and more people that I’m like having conversations with people that my cousins, my family members, and I’m just like, and they’re like, Oh, I broke this cycle, and I did this, and I said, no, and I’m learning boundaries.
31:35: And I’m like, Yeah, you guys all that shit about me when I started doing this.
31:39: Yeah, yeah.
31:41: Oh my gosh, I, it’s funny the wave of difference.
31:43: I feel like I got to this work like really early on and now I’m feeling this new wave of people just finding it.
31:47: It’s so cool.
31:48: And you know, my ego on my end is like, I did years ago like I’ve been right this whole time.
31:53: Why are you listening to me and then another part of me like kind of just finds like peace and like, oh my God, thank God you didn’t work.
32:00: You know what I mean?
32:00: Thank God you found us on your own.
32:01: It’s so it’s difficult, yeah.
32:04: Yeah, the e goes like, I was here first, but welcome.
32:07: Or when they like send me something.
32:08: I’m like, I read that 10 years ago, but it’s really just like how beautiful.
32:12: Welcome is really what we should all be saying is like welcome.
32:15: People are still figuring it out, and I think they’re all trying to figure it out.
32:19: They’re all trying to speak to that, which is why we’re talking about it.
32:22: Yeah, and I think the only thing that like, I think people are like, oh, but my family in X and XYZ, and it’s like, well, if you didn’t have to learn how How to unconditionally love people that broke a core essence of who you are, you wouldn’t arrive at Christ consciousness, which is love thy enemy, right?
32:43: And it’s like, how do you let go of that victim mentality of, I can’t get there because I have this situation.
32:54: Well, what if we got curious?
32:56: What if we got creative?
32:58: And what if we said, OK, because I went through this, now it makes me a better leader to help somebody who is literally going through this.
33:06: I wouldn’t be able to walk the walk or talk the whatever the term is, if I didn’t actually experience firsthand having abandonment issues from my core family unit.
33:19: Now gives me the courage to be like, OK, if I can make peace with that, and if I can find love and compassion for them, bring it on.
33:29: Like, I’m ready.
33:30: I got the tools, I got the regulation.
33:33: I know what I need in order to be in my center and the compassion when I’m not.
33:39: Let’s go and the strength, you know, like you’re just such a strong individual, and it emanates from you.
33:46: And I feel like when you have those experiences, when you challenge the status quo, or when you have trauma, you go through those things, it shows you the inner strength that you didn’t even realize you have.
33:56: And you, then you’re like, well, if I can get through this, I can get through it, like we talked about this right before we hit record, like we can get through anything full circle, full circle.
34:04: Yeah, I love but the other thing that like I, I just thought about when you were saying that was like, you’re also talking about so much about curiosity.
34:10: So I’m almost thinking as you’re writing this book, that like, your North Star should be curiosity because I think through curiosity, people will find their discernment, their intuition.
34:19: , hm, you just like put my whole life in one word and I freaking love it.
34:25: It’s the projector in me.
34:27: So the projector, look at you too, just projecting away over there and the other night he started telling me all these things and like reflected back.
34:32: He’s like, babe, that’s so beautiful.
34:34: And I was like, it’s the projector in me.
34:36: I was like, you need me for just awesome.
34:39: I mean, no.
34:40: Manny are are my favorite though, like all my best friends are Manny Jens, all my clients, yeah, you guys are like, we’re like the EDD of the manifesting or of the human she is pepe pew pee, but you’re able to see so much that we’re not yet and then like you kind of like are the ones in the forefront like, OK, da da da da da and And then you bring it to us, and we’re like, OK, how do we bring it all into that one offering.
35:03: But I feel like it’s so awesome to be in partnership with a projector, because I feel like she grounds the energy and like can, I can be like this and this and this and this, and she’s like, OK, how about we do all this?
35:13: And I’m like, yes, perfect.
35:14: That’s exactly what I meant.
35:16: Probably so much fun for you guys.
35:18: It’s been fun.
35:19: I don’t know, is it fun on your end?
35:21: I mean, it feels like, you know, when we do something like that, I do feel myself be like, OK, Sam, what if we just do this?
35:27: And it feels organic.
35:29: I don’t know that I’m doing it, so do you like receiving it?
35:31: Oh yeah, you can’t really offend me.
35:33: It’d be really hard to offend me.
35:34: I feel like I’ve worked a lot on that aspect of not Taking things personal.
35:40: I feel like it’s, it’d be pretty hard.
35:42: That’s why I love our dynamic.
35:44: but I’m also open to feedback, because I also know the part of me that’s like, and here and here and here and here.
35:49: And so, as I said, the ADD and that’s authentic partnership in business.
35:55: Yeah, like your gifts are being activated and used, your gifts are being received and You know, it’s beautiful, totally, and it’s also really nice that she’s a man cause she’s a lot more energy than I do.
36:08: Yeah.
36:09: So, you know, and she’s like, are you sure?
36:11: Are you sure?
36:11: I was like, I’ll do that.
36:12: I’ll do that, and I’m always there like, Sam, can you really take on that much?
36:17: but she can, and like I think she also Like brings the energy into the room and that game dynamic, which is really cool.
36:22: So like, even from like a business perspective, like, I knew the podcast, I needed to call in a partnership one to not just split the energy, but like where I’ve realized she’s like poured energy into the podcast, which is really pretty.
36:33: Thanks.
36:35: Guys, I have chills.
36:37: Hm, I’m also an Aquarius, so I can relate to your husband too, like, we’re up in the future sometimes.
36:42: That’s the other reason I appreciate Curtis.
36:43: She’s like, OK, but right now, let’s come back here.
36:46: I’m sure that’s what you do for your husband too.
36:48: It’s like the opposite for sure.
36:50: Yeah, you’re like, that’s great.
36:52: I hear your future thoughts and Yeah.
36:55: Let me project something.
36:56: It’s so true because my husband is definitely in that million, you know, million dollar goal energy, like nothing else in the world matters.
37:04: I need to make my million dollars, and then, and I’m like, and then what?
37:07: That’s his, his journey, yeah, no, yeah, and he like never thinks that far, and I’m like.
37:15: I’m like, so, like, you want that million dollars, so you can have XYZ and it’s like we already have so much, like we already have it all.
37:24: Like, just remember that on your journey to the goal, I’m not saying don’t go for the goal, by all means, I want my first class trip to Japan.
37:31: Yeah, give me that first class seat, you know, it’s like, I want that.
37:34: I want that.
37:35: Is on the cars, he’s gonna go do that, and I’m just gonna remind him to enjoy the now while we are on the journey.
37:43: So beautiful.
37:44: My husband does that for me too.
37:45: He’s like, I’ll be like stressing about something, and he’s like, you know, what’s happening right now?
37:50: Like, in this moment, he’s like, everything’s fine, it’s OK, and he talks very slowly.
37:55: He does.
37:55: He’s so great.
37:56: Yeah, you talked to one conversation.
37:58: He’s just like he’s just a gem of a human, but sometimes I’m like, are you sure you love me?
38:03: Like, I’m so energetic and more loud and all the things, but yeah, you need that balance.
38:09: You need someone to be like, OK, you focus on that, I’ll be over here.
38:13: I’ll just hold the space.
38:15: Yeah, that’s beautiful.
38:17: What is it like being, cause it sounds like you guys are living together.
38:21: Yes, we’ve been living together now for 3 years since we moved back to to the since we moved to the West Coast.
38:26: So how does that, how does that feel?
38:28: Like what does that feel for you now?
38:30: How is it like to be and how long were you living apart, pardon me for asking.
38:34: No, no worries.
38:34: OK, so we were Living together for 6.5 years, and then we were living apart for a year, and now we’ve been living together again for almost 3, 2.5.
38:45: so we’ve been married almost 10 years in May, and congratulations.
38:49: Thank you so much, big milestone.
38:52: And you guys also 10 years, right?
38:53: It’s not married, but together, yeah, yeah, next year is 10 years too, all the same.
38:57: Yeah, it doesn’t matter whatever, yeah, exactly.
38:59: It feels like marriage, whatever that is, yeah, And I think the my my most favorite part of it was when we were living apart because it helped me learn that I am a whole woman outside of my roles and obligations to others.
39:17: So I grew the most during that time.
39:20: And then now living together again, it’s been in very interesting dance of how do I not lose that, and how do I not fall back into the old traps of codependency and comfort and cuddles and serving, and You know, the role of a wife, and then how do I also honor this like super independent, strong woman that I am, and my identity that I’ve cultivated.
39:49: So, yeah, every day it’s just like, OK, yeah, exactly.
39:53: How do you do that?
39:54: You have to, one, take time out away.
39:58: Most important thing, at least 1 night a week, I think I take 2 nights a week, To allow your feminine to play in whatever way she wants.
40:09: Sometimes it’s a bath, sometimes that’s painting, sometimes it’s dancing, sometimes that’s writing, sometimes that’s whatever she wants to flow with, right?
40:16: making sure that she knows that she has containers for her to be fully herself without the roles that she plays in society.
40:28: and then having a partner that like loves that about you.
40:33: that really celebrates your individual being that you are, that isn’t threatened by you needing spaciousness.
40:46: and a lot of it has to do with, you know, the partner you choose.
40:50: And oh I know so many people that are like, oh, I can’t take a night off for myself, my husband’s gonna, like, be like, I don’t want to take care of the kids, I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to do that.
40:59: choosing a partner and having those conversations and getting to that place of like, hey, this doesn’t mean that I don’t love you.
41:04: It doesn’t mean that I don’t love the family.
41:06: It just means that I need to learn how to love myself.
41:10: So it was a lot of hard.
41:10: It’s really hard because I think men also depend on women in a lot of ways.
41:14: And I think what’s interesting to what you’re talking about, there’s this dynamic of being a powerful woman, being a business owner, doing your own thing, allowing your creativity to flow, while also taking care of your husband.
41:24: And I think a lot of, especially men.
41:26: that are really successful, which sounds like your husband is very career driven, from what I know about him.
41:31: You know, he’s focusing on that.
41:33: And I hear that happen all the time and like relationship dynamics where they’re like, well, he’s just focused on making money and being the provider and who else is in take care of the kids.
41:45: And a lot of women are being faced with the question of like, can I do both?
41:50: Can I take care of the kids?
41:51: Can I also, take care of the home, make him dinner when he gets home from work.
41:58: can I, you know, and somehow find time for my own passion project.
42:04: And it’s a very difficult dynamic to be in because, one, a lot of women that are waking up to wanting that, it’s not like the relationships start off like that.
42:15: And so a lot of them are be like having like whiplash, and they’re like, Oh, what do you mean?
42:19: You want me to?
42:19: Taking care of the kids.
42:20: You want me to start cooking for myself?
42:21: I have to order myself food.
42:23: What do you mean?
42:24: Like laundry?
42:25: Who’s done laundry before?
42:27: And so it’s more of that, you know, like, it’s, I’m sorry, it’s so true, so true.
42:32: And, you know, a training camp, a retraining training.
42:38: I think what’s happening with this specifically is that men are being invited to find somewhere in the middle like the balance, because women are actually saying I do deserve to be in my feminine expression.
42:49: I want to be me.
42:51: I want to find who I am outside of taking care of the household things, which is a lot harder to say, but you have to kind of find those conversations in the in the it could start with 10 minutes a day is something I do with my clients I have kids.
43:03: 10 minutes a day when you wake up, before you hop on social media, I know it’s hard.
43:08: I know it’s so hard.
43:10: Before you go and wake up the kids before.
43:13: Or you go make your cup of coffee.
43:15: Whether you have a journal or not, just take 10 minutes to just sit in silence.
43:20: If you want to write, right.
43:22: If you don’t, just sit and tap into your energy and your essence for the day, and remember that you are more than just a mom and a wife and somebody who creates for the world.
43:33: Mhm.
43:34: So good.
43:35: Yeah.
43:36: Well, at this stage, we ask everyone a very personal question.
43:40: At the end of the episode, where we ask you, like, where in your life, I mean you already talked a little bit, but this can be life, relationship, business, friendship, whatever you want it to be.
43:48: Are you craving to be more fully expressed?
43:51: friendships for sure.
43:53: How so?
43:54: Tell us more.
43:54: Tell us.
43:57: I think what I’m really coming into this year is I don’t have to perform to receive.
44:05: In all aspects of work and personal relationships.
44:09: And I’ve noticed that like, when I enter rooms with other beautiful, powerful women, I’m like, oh, am I going to be up to par with that?
44:18: You know, am I going to be able to deliver what I receive?
44:21: And it’s like, what if you sometimes you just receive.
44:24: What if sometimes you’re meant to be in that room, not because you have something to offer, but because you need to receive something.
44:30: You know, so I’m like trying to learn how to balance, like, challenging the hierarchical structures of, like, what it means to be this like, fully embodied human being, spiritual being in a human form.
44:43: there are levels that you can see, right, of like, oh wow, that person is so in their truth and so authentic and so embodied and thriving on all cylinders, and then not to feel intimid, but like, have the confidence to just be like, well, I’m good enough too, so I’m being challenged with that in friendships.
45:03: , it’s like just showing up and like, I’m just going to receive.
45:07: Yeah, and like just trust that like whatever your authentic expression is in that moment, they also received something.
45:15: You also don’t need to know what that something is, don’t need to calculate it, don’t need to overanalyze it, don’t need to predict it, don’t need to ask.
45:24: Did you receive something from me?
45:25: Was this conversation OK?
45:27: Yeah, which is hard because I think it’s, you know.
45:28: And I think this is the definition of a belief express friendship, which we talk about, like, I don’t have to come in and perform.
45:34: I don’t have to meet your energy if I’m not at it, like, where am I really at?
45:38: Like, it’s like the simple thing that I talk about all the time, where it’s like, you find a find a friend a friendship, and they’re like so happy, but you’re sad, and you’re like, fuck, and old me would have been like, I have to be happy because you’re happy and I need to meet your energy of joy, versus like, I can honor your joy.
45:53: And I can honor my sadness, and then vice versa, like, I’m sad, I’m really in the shit, I’m really low, I don’t have a lot of energy.
46:00: I love you and I can still honor your, your joy, your high.
46:04: And I think that is the dynamic, I think, of a fully expressed friendship, because you, you’re literally allowed to both be authentically in your own.
46:12: That’s so beautiful.
46:13: So, I’m excited.
46:14: I mean, I’ve seen it in my marriage, and like I’ve built that in my marriage, so like now I’m like so excited to have that friendships, where it’s like, I don’t, I don’t want to bring the vibes down, so I’m gonna cancel my plans, and it’s like, no, she’ll show up, show up, be like, I’m having a shitty day.
46:28: Or I’m low, or I’m tired, yeah, feels better.
46:31: And then what I’ve noticed in my own personal experience, like we were just talking about this with a friend.
46:35: We went out to lunch and I was like, not having the energy, but then after I felt better because I acknowledged the fact that I didn’t have the energy, and I was like, wait, I actually feel better that I went to hang out with my friend, even though I didn’t have the energy when I got over there.
46:48: Sometimes just being the energy is just so nourishing.
46:51: It’s probably why I love this so much too, but just like we were saying about men that get energy from women, so do women get from women.
46:57: Like, women are the yeah.
46:59: of energy.
47:00: So yeah, of course.
47:01: Also, you just come with like the most amazing energy.
47:05: Like you wouldn’t even need to speak.
47:06: You could literally just sit in that chair and I’d be like, I’m feeling these vibes.
47:10: OK, thanks.
47:11: Just like, I mean I wish compliment.
47:15: Thank you.
47:16: I love your vibe.
47:17: Yeah, yeah.
47:18: And you have a very like grounded, peaceful presence, which is so interesting.
47:24: Because you are so powerful and oftentimes powerful women are very like loud and like and and they talk fast and they’re just very dynamic, but you are dynamic, but yeah, I get it.
47:35: You have a great presence.
47:36: It’s very powerful.
47:37: And your presence is a good word.
47:38: Yeah, presence now.
47:41: It actually like made me slow down, which is really nice.
47:45: It’s a really nice change to have a woman.
47:48: I mean, my husband does it to me all the time, but to have a woman in here that’s like, la, but the brakes.
47:53: Yeah, no, it’s nice you slowed down the talk and it felt very present because because of the opening.
48:00: Oh, cause I dropped you in, you dropped me in.
48:03: There we go.
48:03: 100%.
48:04: Full circles, everybody involved.
48:06: I love that.
48:07: Well, thank you so much for coming today.
48:08: Thank you so much for making the try.
48:11: So worth it.
48:12: It means so much to us.
48:13: It really does.
48:14: Thank you so much for having me.
48:15: Where?
48:16: Can people find you and where can they find your amazing new venture?
48:21: So Instagram would be the best place to find both.
48:25: So my personal is Sana Akan, just my full name.
48:29: And then Growth Club is Join Growth Club on Instagram, and then our website is joingrowthclub.co.
48:36: And specifically Growth Club is in LA.
48:38: So like if there’s an LA listener, go out.
48:42: And we are intention.
48:43: in person, not online.
48:46: I am all zoomed out.
48:48: I cannot sit in front of a computer.
48:50: I want to feel your energy.
48:51: I want you to feel my energy.
48:53: Come in person.
48:53: We have beautiful dinner parties with a private chef.
48:56: 3.
48:57: I want to come.
48:58: Have fun.
48:59: It’s so good.
49:00: Yeah, we can.
49:01: Yes.
49:02: And then we do curated conversation prompts that act as portals into unlimited opportunities for self-discovery and Inspiring ideas to flow.
49:13: So good.
49:14: All right.
49:15: I love you.
49:16: Thank you.
49:16: Thank you so much.
49:18: Thank you so much for tuning in.
49:20: We really appreciate you being here.
49:22: If you enjoyed this episode, we’d be grateful if you could leave us a review and share it with a friend.
49:27: Also, we would love to hear from you.
49:29: Reach out to us on Instagram and let us know where you feel inspired to express yourself as you embrace this next era.
49:36: We are here to support you and encourage you.
49:39: See you on the next one.
Here’s what we discuss:
- What it means to be consciously child-free and the freedom of choosing your path
- The power and flexibility of choice in every aspect of life
- Creating and building from feminine energy—what that really looks like
- Navigating your ego when it tries to hold you back
- Releasing victim mentality and stepping into radical ownership
- The invitation to lead with curiosity and fully step into your power
- Finding yourself as a woman—while married, separated, or redefining your path
Links & Resources:
Website: https://sanaakhand.com/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@sana_akhand
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0iulwRAtERLBnHKIJf1SQ8
Connect with Sana:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sanaakhand/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sanaakhand
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sana-akhand-6495643b/
About Sana:
Sana Akhand is an Embodiment Coach, Co-Founder of Growth Club, and Host of the Thriving in Love podcast.
Sana gained national attention for defying societal norms when she and her husband chose to live in separate apartments while remaining happily married, a love story featured in The New York Times, Good Morning America, and more. Sana’s mission is to help people break free from societal expectations and embrace their authenticity to cultivate deeper connections and thrive in conscious relationships.
Through Growth Club, a Los Angeles-based community for conscious leaders, and her podcast, she inspires people to align with their own truth, create a meaningful impact, and live with both passion and purpose.
If you’re a woman ready to break free from expectations, fully express yourself, and create a life and business that feels true to you, this episode is for you!
Listen in and let’s tap into your inner rebel.
Join The Fully Expressed Community, where you can be surrounded by other women who are also on the same path of personal growth, healing, and uncovering their authentic expression. Being in a community surrounded by others can truly be one of the most supporting and healing containers to support your personal invitation.
LET’S CONNECT!
The Fully Expressed Community: https://thefullyexpressedpodcast.com/the-fully-expressed-community/ –
The Fully Expressed Podcast with Karenna Website: https://www.instagram.com/thefullyexpressedpodcast/
The Fully Expressed Podcast with Karenna Instagram Profile: https://thefullyexpressedpodcast.com/podcast/
Karenna’s Personal Brand Instagram Profile: https://www.instagram.com/iamkarennasoto/
Contact Karenna: hello@karennasoto.com
