Episode #70: Q&A Sneak Peek – Expanding in Business, Relationships & Life

0:02: Welcome to the Fully expressed podcast.
0:03: We are your hosts, Samantha and Karenna.
0:06: This is a show where we invite you into your fullest express self and life, relationships, and business.
0:11: We believe that if you crave more, you are meant for more.
0:14: There is room for all of us to be fully expressed.
0:17: Along with the show, we’ve created a virtual community to connect you with fellow listeners.
0:22: Make sure to check out the fully expressed community membership.
0:25: You’ll find the link to join in the show notes and on our website.
0:28: So excited to see you there.
0:30: Enjoy this new episode.
0:35: Welcome back to another episode of the Fully expressed podcast.
0:40: Hopefully, you joined us for the last episode where we spoke live at our podcast relaunch party with Aaron Porter, talked all about the art of being seen and how to go from fear to fully expressed.
0:52: We’re so excited to share the live Q&A that we had at the end of the event.
0:58: What we love so much about this Q&A is where the guests actually come up and ask, like, real questions that are actually came up for them during that process, because they’re all stepping into really wanting to become more visible, to become more seen, whether that is in life, relationships, or business.
1:12: So we’re so excited to be able to give you insight into those questions and actually get Erin’s answers in real time.
1:20: We truly promise that once you listen to these questions in this Q&A, you’re gonna get gold from it.
1:24: So if something really does land, please let us know on Instagram or the DMs of like, which question really stood out to you, or which one really resonated from you, but we’re so excited to give you here now.
1:35: So, here you go, tune in.
1:37: I don’t know how much time we have to Q and A.
1:39: Do that time?
1:40: Yes, I would love to open up the floor.
1:42: So, who has a question I would like to ask?
1:46: 12.
1:47: Yes, come, Erica, yes, I just might eat right it’s Erica.
1:51: Yeah, I need to come up here and ask a question.
1:52: I just wanna make sure that anyone that’s listening, that’s gonna listen to the podcast later.
1:56: Oh, OK, it looks great.
1:58: Thank you.
1:59: You mentioned in the very beginning when you were introducing yourself, about like a specific methodology, it’s like something like stick stick something.
2:06: And I was just really curious to hear what that is if we heard about.
2:10: Yeah, so I, Peter Cummings, who was an incredible attachment therapist, created a modality called stick work, and it helps to heal the attachment system.
2:19: And so the, the work that I do as somebody is like they hold one and if they’re in person, they hold one end of a stick, like, yes, an actual stick, and then I hold the other, and it works the attachment system.
2:30: So it’s kind of acts as like a Attachment thermometer, if you will, and it gets out of the head, into the body, it blends in somatic work, internal family systems work, and helps people build more secure attachment systems.
2:42: They made done stick work in here.
2:43: I’m like, I know there’s yeah.
2:45: So Peter’s work is incredible.
2:47: I’ve been mentored, received the work for many years, and then facilitate it.
2:50: Oh, thank you, that’s yeah, sweet.
2:52: Thank you.
2:53: Does anyone else have a question?
2:54: Yes.
2:55: Hi, thank you.
2:56: That was really helpful.
2:58: So, I, I work a corporate job and now in the evening I’m kind of building my own business, and I’m working on my first children’s book.
3:06: And what I noticed is, and I was talking to somebody here earlier about it, is that I have this thought in my mind that like, it has to be the best, right?
3:15: It has to be like number one, or it has to be like on the New York Times like bestseller list, and that’s putting me in like per fast.
3:21: Vaccination mode, and now I’m like avoiding it.
3:24: And so I guess my question is like, how, what strategies would you say where I can like step out of that and it’s like, it’s OK.
3:31: Like, let me just get it out.
3:33: This is just the first step of, it’s the first book, right?
3:36: Yeah,, 22 things that that pop up,, that kind of come into mind.
3:42: One being like, what are you making it needing to be all those things mean about you and, and, and nothing.
3:48: that’s always my first kind of like exploration within that.
3:51: And then also like, if that’s something like, do you start, have you been like a perfectionist in the past, like wanting to, yeah, so I would, the other thing that I think just from like a tactical lens that could be fun and could kind of help you tie rate we’re talking about titrating earlier, kind of opening into everything is like, can you take people along on the journey with you and make it be more of like a fun experiential thing versus like you just working on it by yourself.
4:15: Like, would there be something where you take, I know like sub stacks, sometimes people will offer like little things that they write along the way or there’s a journey of people that are cheering you on, like, can you create community that can hold you in that versus you just needing to, like, trying to operate all of your internal stuff by yourself.
4:32: I love that.
4:33: Yeah, I’ve definitely been an asylum.
4:35: Yeah, that’s valuable.
4:36: Thank you.
4:36: Yeah.
4:37: Yes, come up Sara, right?
4:39: Loving all your questions.
4:40: Get use the light.
4:41: , my question is.
4:42: holding the truth.
4:43: I know you said, you know, we wobbly, working on really holding those places, there’s all these external forces coming out.
4:51: So what is your strategies for just holding, stubbing, staying grounded in yourself?
4:56: Mhm.
4:57: First practice that I usually do is write down like, I love to write, love the journal, so I’ll write down like what my truth is and insert area of life.
5:05: And then as I take that truth and I sit with it, I notice, OK, where is this showing?
5:09: Up in my body.
5:11: And kind of two things.
5:12: Where does it show up as good in my body and then where does it show up as maybe wobbliness in there.
5:18: And what I try to do is first, because you never want to touch a place in your body that feels under-resourced from another underresourced part of you.
5:26: You want to try to find it from like a, from safety.
5:30: So grounding into safety, whether that’s something internally that feels like safety or externally, and then meeting the truth from there, instead of trying to meet it from a sensation in your body that doesn’t feel enough.
5:41: So usually we’ll find those sorts of things rust into that.
5:44: And that becomes my little place where I try to drop into that many times throughout the day.
5:49: I love little tiny quick practices, so just be like, OK, I’m going into a situation where I’m really gonna need to speak my truth.
5:56: Let me rush into that, and let me create an anchor around it, but also don’t just use it when you need it.
6:02: Use it in the times where you do have more.
6:03: Capacity and practice building and adding to it in those moments, so then that way you’re not just working and working it in those times of need.
6:11: Yeah.
6:12: Anybody else?
6:13: I a lot of here Ruben, Ruben.
6:17: So the part for me personally, I spoke a lot with what you were talking about was talking for fire.
6:21: So for me, when I think about that, I think it’s very much what what drives a lot of what I do, but at the same time it’s scary, because as they also recovery people please her.
6:30: , and I like having control of things within myself, that I feel like it, I can manage it or where it’s supposed to go, and I’m working on that.
6:38: When I think about tapping in and working from a place of my fire, like I, I feel fear from that because it’s like, OK, where is it gonna go?
6:45: Is it gonna be too much, is it gonna be too less, so how, what’s what’s some good tips on being able to manage that?
6:50: Yeah, I, I’d say the first thing that I think of is like, it might be too much for some, but it’s gonna not, you know, it’s gonna not be for others, and I think trying not to control.
6:59: How it’s perceived, if you know that you’re coming from the right place, right?
7:03: Fire often lives like in the heart space if we kind of look at different personality patterns and the chakra system, like there’s a lot of fire that can come from your heart.
7:12: And so if your fire is coming from your heart, not from like an erotic, you know, if you kind of place, there’s two different energies, you have to, you can’t control how it is going to be perceived, but you have to, but if you can bring in more ground with it.
7:25: Like I was like ground with fire, so And it’s not like a flames out in the the ethers that has a lot of roots to it.
7:32: and practice not managing what’s on the other side of that, cause if you’re a people pleaser, but like, OK, well, let me give a caveat.
7:39: I used to do this and when writing or like social media posts, I try to figure out, OK, how do I put 20 nuances, so this makes everybody happy and yeah, this caveat, and just practice speaking from it, and I think you have to trust too that if there is rupture, but maybe someone doesn’t and understand it or they feel hurt by it, but you have to trust that you have done the work, that you can have a reparative based conversation versus trying to manage your fire externally.
8:05: Thank you.
8:05: All right.
8:06: I love that.
8:06: I think so many people have a fear of being too much, and so they hold back.
8:10: So that’s very helpful.
8:12: Yeah, it’s also difficult when you hear so many people, especially with the trauma informed on social media, everyone’s like, well, if you want to be inclusive, then you gotta make sure you’re saying it in all the best ways to wrap up to make sure it meets every single person.
8:23: But that’s impossible.
8:25: It’s literally impossible.
8:26: It’s like remembering that some people are gonna receive you and they’re gonna hear you and it’s to meet the anointed met and those are your people, and others are not, and that’s OK.
8:33: Yeah.
8:34: I think it’s a big thing because they train a lot of people in trauma informed practices, and they’re like, how do I bring like my spicy thoughts so like my fire into it and I’m like, you can do it in a way where again, like you are speaking.
8:45: From your truth, cause if not, then you’re operating in a trauma response of like flawning unhappily, do not make everybody around you happy, and you have to really work on those rupture and repair.
8:58: And a lot of people, that’s the next edge for them is like, OK, I, I have to have a conversation, I have to be in conflict, and like that’s part of the experience and doing that.
9:08: In a way where you hear and hold people is the next level.
9:11: And I want to add to that’s part of your fullest expressed self, right?
9:14: So, when you’re expressing yourself, right, if you keep it inside, you’re not practicing expressing yourself.
9:19: You’re not gonna get to the concrete version of you that you really want to get to, and so you have to be able to get through the experience to receive your fullest expresso, OK.
9:28: Oh, thank you so much.
9:30: Thank you.
9:32: Thank you so much for tuning into this Q&A.
9:34: We hope that you loved it as much as we did.
9:36: We had such a great time interviewing Erin at our live event.
9:40: We’re so excited to continue creating spaces and rooms like this where we can do these live in person podcast recordings and where guests can ask questions to the podcast guests in real time.
9:51: We hope that if you’re local to San Diego, Orange County, or LA that you get to come to one of our events, and we really are manifesting that we’ll be able to do something.
10:01: And go on tour and maybe come to your city soon.
10:03: But yeah, thank you so much for tuning in, and we hope to see you on the next one.
10:07: Thank you so much for tuning in.
10:09: We really appreciate you being here.
10:11: If you enjoyed this episode, we’d be grateful if you could leave us a review and share it with a friend.
10:16: Also, we would love to hear from you.
10:19: Reach out to us on Instagram and let us know where you feel inspired to express yourself as you embrace this next era.
10:26: We are here to support you and encourage you.
10:28: See you on the next one.