Have you ever felt like you’re meant for more—but something just isn’t clicking?
Are you the eldest daughter, the only daughter, or the one everyone leans on in your family? Do you constantly carry the weight of others’ emotions, expectations, and needs?
Then this episode is for you.
In this powerful conversation with Alexis Frank, we dive deep into the emotional and energetic dynamics of being “the first daughter” and how this role shapes your identity, relationships, and even your business.
0:02: Welcome to the Fully expressed podcast.
0:03: We are your hosts, Samantha and Karenna.
0:06: This is a show where we invite you into your fullest express self and life, relationships, and business.
0:11: We believe that if you crave more, you are meant for more.
0:14: There is room for all of us to be fully expressed.
0:17: Along with the show, we’ve created a virtual community to connect you with fellow listeners.
0:22: Make sure to check out the fully expressed community membership.
0:25: You’ll find the link to join in the show notes and on our website.
0:28: So excited to see you there.
0:30: Enjoy this new episode.
0:34: Welcome back to another episode of the Fully expressed podcast.
0:38: I’m so excited to introduce to you our newest guest.
0:42: Her name is Alexis Frank.
0:44: She is a life coach and the creator of life and business coaching for eldest daughter entrepreneurs.
0:50: After Decade of trying to fit into corporate boxes that never felt right, she decided to ditch the rules.
0:56: Now she helps leaders and specifically eldest daughters break free from outdated expectations, align with their true selves, and unapologetically build their lives and the businesses they deserve.
1:08: Oh, look at me go.
1:10: Look at you, girl.
1:11: Is she fully expressed or what?
1:13: Yeah, it’s like what you read your bio or you send your info, and also I could see you on Instagram and I’m like, this girl literally lives by her own rules and if there are rules, maybe there are no rules, there are none.
1:25: There’s is that the Matrix, there is no spoon.
1:27: Yeah, there is a.
1:30: But we’re so excited to have you here.
1:31: I would like to hear how your journey got to this place of like, what does it look like to live?
1:35: Like, no rules, and you talk so much about the eldest daughter, which I’m also the eldest daughter, so I’m excited to like learn from you and what that means, and why you specifically speak to the eldest daughter.
1:46: Hm, yeah, so the journey with the eldest daughter has probably been about a year old, and so it started from a place of needing to be more specific.
1:57: And I now have like the niciest niche of all niches, and I used to hate that idea, but I was really trying to figure out who is this woman that I’m trying to help because she’s so specific, and I was doing market research for a program that I was creating.
2:14: And I went back and I was like, wait a minute, and I’m self-projected in human design, so I pop on a voice note and I’m just yammering at myself and I’m like, wait a minute.
2:24: I think it’s the eldest daughter.
2:26: And then I went back and I asked all of the women who I had interviewed for this market research.
2:30: I was like, what’s your birth order?
2:32: 80% of them were the eldest daughter.
2:34: And I was like, whoa, that’s it, right?
2:36: Like it was so easy.
2:38: And I think about the fact that even though I’m actually the youngest in My two sibling unit, I’m the only daughter, which by default makes me the oldest daughter.
2:49: I’m the only daughter too.
2:51: And and that and it’s the same thing because it’s like it falls into the expectation is put on you.
2:57: The expectation to be, the expectation to not only succeed in professional arena, but also in like a domestic arena too.
3:05: It’s like, oh, you have to take care of other people, cook, clean, do all these things, but also, you should probably be a doctor or a lawyer and Whether anybody says it out loud or not, the family legacy and name is riding on you, and this expectation comes at you from the time you’re able to walk, and by the time you’re 7 years old, you don’t even know who you are or who you want to be, because everybody else has told you what you should be, or who you are supposed to be or how you should act.
3:31: And then you look up one day and you’re like, wait a minute, I don’t even know, like or trust myself.
3:38: And this comes deeply into entrepreneurship, because a lot of business coaches talk about oh you have to build that no like and trust factor.
3:45: And I’m like, but you don’t know like and trust yourself.
3:47: And I see it so much in reflected in low prices in this scarcity of will people see me, this idea that I have to work 80 hours a week to succeed in order to become something so that I don’t let other people down.
4:02: And it’s this heavy burden and then for the eldest daughters like me who then are now parents.
4:08: Well damn, now I gotta keep, you know, kids afloat.
4:12: Now I’m desperate to not fuck them up the way that I was screwed up.
4:15: Yeah, that’s true.
4:18: And now you’re hovering, and you’re like, and with my eldest daughter, she’s a mental projector, so she’s the closest thing there is to a reflector without being one.
4:27: And so now I’m over here like, you don’t stop parenting, you mind your business, take care of yourself, but also trying to honor everything that she is.
4:35: And then it’s like there’s trauma over here, but then empowerment over here.
4:39: And how can I use this natural leadership that I have to actually create wealth for myself, to create happiness and fulfillment for myself.
4:47: And realized that the rule book was designed by someone who wanted to keep other people in boxes, and I just don’t do that.
4:56: It’s just not my thing.
4:57: OK, so let’s, there’s so much to peel back in what you just said.
5:01: I do want to clarify one thing though.
5:02: So you said eldest daughter, is that also the only daughter of the family?
5:06: OK, so either you’re the only daughter, but you have 3 or 4 brothers, it’s still only the eldest daughter and then let’s, yeah, obviously the rest of it makes sense.
5:14: I just want to clarify.
5:15: Yeah, by default, cause yeah, you’re the only one, so that makes you the the same way it’s like, oh, if we had like a a woman president, oh, she would have been like the first, oh like, you know.
5:26: Black woman president, she would have been the first woman president, right?
5:30: Like the, the nuance is there, but when you have the, well, I have 3 older brothers, but I think about how your 3 older brothers are probably being treated compared to what they’re asking of you.
5:40: So it’s the same.
5:40: It’s interesting because I have one older brother and in my whole life it was all about him and he went to law school like they wanted him to be an attorney and my mom wanted me be.
5:49: marry someone wealthy.
5:50: Like that was her vision because she grew up very poor and she worked really hard, but like it was interesting because she didn’t see that same thing in me.
5:57: But then now as an adult, I’m like the mom to my whole family and that’s actually what I think is like what you’re speaking to was projected on me unknowingly.
6:07: It just didn’t really arrive or arise until I was older.
6:11: Yeah.
6:12: And I’d also say like you’ve talked about this so much, like where you have felt like you’ve always been super creative and you always felt like you had to be put in these boxes.
6:20: Yeah, yeah, so I think you still felt it.
6:22: Yeah, she did tell me I’d be a good lawyer.
6:24: She never was like, you’d be a great artist, which is what I wanted to hear.
6:27: She was like, you’d be such a good attorney.
6:28: I’m like, I was definitely, I think what’s interesting is like I definitely.
6:34: What you’re talking about for sure.
6:36: I mean, I was the eldest daughter.
6:38: I definitely took on all those things of like, I’m responsible for my mom.
6:41: I’m responsible for my sister.
6:42: I do feel like the legacy piece that doesn’t show up like my parents are both entrepreneurs, like no part of them have ever pushed on to me that I’m responsible for taking my dad’s accounting business and financial business.
6:53: He’s never said that, but there is this like deep.
6:57: Belief that I would say that runs in like because he’s giving me so much, I’m responsible for taking it to that next level, or I feel like almost like because he’s done so good for me like I want to do even better and I also come from like parents that Immigrated here, right?
7:12: It’s like I’m first generation born here and so there’s a lot of that too, and that feels like a responsibility.
7:18: I’m just so curious like as I’m talking about I’m gonna go reach out to my sister and be like, do you feel that way too because she’s younger than me by 2 years.
7:24: I know she feels that same pressure, but I do feel that same like, I have felt and this is constantly something that I’m working on on my own is like.
7:33: This financial pressure to like, figure it out on my own, have it all together, show up, because not only do I don’t want to fail myself, but I also feel it’s responsible to my family, yeah.
7:43: Which is so interesting, and I, I think about this all the time, and it’s something that I’m so glad that we’re talking about today.
7:49: Yeah, it’s, it’s such a tough break, and I’ve done other podcasts with women who aren’t the eldest daughter, and they’re like, I just don’t feel this the way that you do.
7:57: Like, I don’t get it.
7:58: Yeah, they’re like, I don’t get it, but I can see why it is this thing, and I think it helps them gain perspective for their Clients because they can’t necessarily relate to them in this specific modality, but it helps them see, OK, this is a burden that they’re really feeling cause, and I, I think too that if the shoe fits, wear it because I’ve had plenty of people be like, well, I’m, you know, the youngest of 4 daughters and for some reason I feel this burden and it’s like.
8:26: Your birth order sometimes doesn’t always dictate which one of the children your parents decide that they’re gonna be the one.
8:33: So again, if the shoe fits, wear it, but for the most part, it is this first daughter that The hopes just get hung on, and you’re right, it’s just like unspoken thing of like, well she was born capable, and because she was born incapable, then she has to exceed these expectations.
8:51: She has to, they just put them on you and it it’s very difficult to walk with.
8:56: He still laugh cause I’m like, now my dad has never said this, like you’re the son of our family, but He’s never said that in his words, right?
9:05: But I’ve always been like, it’s almost like he feels like I’m the son of our family.
9:08: Like, no one can do it all, you know, in some ways.
9:11: So it’s so interesting to feel that.
9:14: And and that’s what I want to talk about like it’s not so much that they had to directly say that you are responsible and I’m putting this pressure on you and it sounds like it’s also something that we’ve energetically.
9:23: Put on ourselves unconsciously and subconsciously and have made these here to be stories to believe that these are true, even though our parents are doing the best that they can and they’re just trying to show up in the best that they can, but there is something about us taking that on.
9:37: Yeah.
9:37: I think a lot of it has to do with some of the upbringing that you’re talking about.
9:41: So like, the eldest daughter to immigrants is also an entirely different, an entirely different story, and then for me, being the eldest daughter to narcissists has its own take on things because It wasn’t unspoken.
9:57: There was this abrasive way of me being emotionally responsible for my mother and her behavior and making her feel like, well, I have to be her friend.
10:11: I have to make sure she’s OK.
10:12: Did she have a bad day?
10:14: I should probably ask about her.
10:16: And then this is a whole entire other burden of Is my mom OK?
10:21: Is she all right?
10:22: Do I need to do something for her?
10:24: And that builds into an entirely different level of now in my business, I’m coddling people, I’m trying to be their mom.
10:34: I’m attracting people that don’t want to pay my rates because they see me as someone who can like.
10:40: Make them feel better as opposed to empowering them out of whatever it is that they’re feeling, and constantly having to go deep in myself like, wait a minute, I am not my mom’s mother, and that just added an entirely different layer, and there’s so many different nuance within the eldest daughter that I see everywhere, but for the most part, we all have this feeling of It has to be me, whether it’s unspoken or not, and I long to release my clients of that because they’re so powerful, and they’ve shoved themselves in this box that they never asked to be in, and they don’t even realize that they are in.
11:18: And once they explore who they really are, once they explore what is available to them, once they explore just being able to have money and not feel like they have to give it to other people or take care of family, or pick up the phone when people call out of obligation, but out of, I’m so glad I get to hear from you today, just changing that up completely changes their power dynamic and it just expands them.
11:43: Yeah, I’ve lived this breathe this in my life, so I’m like breach, it’s it’s so it’s so interesting too cause for me, like I still relate to this so much, but it showed up just a little differently, like almost on the opposite spectrum where I feel like my mom had a lot of expectations of me when I was younger and then my brother really became the sole focus, and even now he’s going through a difficult time.
12:04: And he’s still the obsession, but it’s almost like she’s like, well, I don’t have to worry about you.
12:09: You’re fine.
12:10: So now then that’s where I became kind of the mom to everybody because she’s like, you’re emotionally stable, you don’t need my attention, you don’t need my mothering.
12:18: I’m going to obsess all over on this person.
12:20: So yeah, it almost showed up like in that flip way of instead of like outwardly being like, you’re responsible, it’s like a silent good luck to you, like, yeah, and then there’s this innate feeling of neglect, if you will, right, because My brother’s just the same.
12:35: He’s older than me, but he’s always ridden the the starving artist, you know, trope, and my mom clung to him because she was a public school teacher.
12:44: So when I joined the army at 17, I was already making more money than she ever did as a teacher, and she let me know that you’re always, you make so much more money.
12:53: And I was like, hold on a minute now.
12:55: Yeah, I went to the army because I didn’t want you to have to take out student loans in my name.
13:00: She made me fear debt so badly.
13:03: Everything was scarcity.
13:05: But she had no problem, you know, my brother was like, I wanna do dance, I wanna do this and that.
13:10: I’m like, that’s fine.
13:11: Go for your dreams.
13:12: Like, who am I to say anything about it?
13:13: But I felt like he took up so much of her presence and her energy, and it was expected that I had my act together.
13:23: And then I started to spend a lot of my hard earned money on them because they were my family and we struggled so hard coming up this, that and the third, but then Where it can differ with a lot of families was then that became an expectation.
13:38: My kindness and my willingness to give and share from them became expected that this is what I was supposed to do.
13:44: And it took me a really long time, I’m only talking like 2 years ago, to be like, wait a second.
13:51: I don’t owe y’all shit.
13:53: Like, I, I don’t have to do any of this.
13:56: I don’t have to do any of this, and the fact that you expected of me, it hurts because I had posted back in like September that I bought this beautiful house in Marietta.
14:06: It’s a dream house.
14:07: I have like my dream pool, my kids, I just, I love this for us.
14:12: And my family for the first time, they don’t know where I live.
14:15: And it was difficult for me because I would have always more than gladly given to them everything that I had, but once they dropped that expectation on me, once it became this thing of you’re supposed to do this for me, that’s why I want to do it no more.
14:32: And that’s why my in-laws get all my love now, because they expect nothing from me, but I love them and they treat me as their own.
14:40: But I think so many eldest daughters struggle to come out of this feeling of, well, it’s expected of me, and that’s where so much of their energy is zapped, so much of their longing to do things is zapped because they know that whatever it is they create, somebody is gonna want a piece of it, and they have to come out.
14:57: From that, in order to truly experience the abundance that is available to them without those expectations.
15:05: It’s like going to, well, I think about this, the way I think about this is like giving from a place of love, not for their love.
15:12: and what I would love to peel that back just a little bit of like, how do you support someone that’s in that space because as someone who has navigated that, that’s like such a touchy area with family, I think, and with like mothers and You know, especially if you’re someone that’s really close to your mom, or like you and your mom are like besties, and, you know, there’s moments of like that things are really good, but then all of a sudden there is moments of expectation that you’re like picking up on.
15:34: You’re like, oh, you expect this of me, and maybe I don’t have the capacity to give it to you right now, so you’re getting angry at me for not giving it to you.
15:42: So how do you navigate that in between in those conversations with people that are really close to you, but then also you want more of them, but you realize that they’re creating this.
15:53: Expectation between the two of you.
15:55: Yeah, that’s a really great question.
15:58: it’s interesting because I had a conversation with one of my clients last night, and so she’s a two line in human design, so she likes to hermit and I gotta pull her out of her cave like every other week.
16:08: I’m like, hey, you ghosted us for a minute, come on back out, but it’s normal.
16:15: It my two line clients are, they’re a little bit of a struggle cause I have to go find them.
16:20: But for her it’s heavy right now on her family needing her, and she was like, I understand that my family needs me, and I mirrored that back to her and I was like, is that something that’s actually true or is that something that is only true because you allow it?
16:34: And naturally, of course, it took her an hour to answer cause I’m like, you settle with that for a second, because I know that I kind of went for the jugular ride in that moment and She has a struggle because a lot of her family is elderly, a lot of them are sick, and she feels like, you know, I have to help these people, I have to help these people, even though half of them have been completely disrespectful of the way that they have treated her and completely ignored her feelings for the majority of her life.
17:01: And so what I do inside of my work is I combine this kind of conscious level change in thought with somatic practice like breath work, EFT tapping.
17:10: We need to go into the body, because Your subconscious mind dictates everything that your conscious mind sees.
17:18: Your entire reality is dictated by your subconscious mind.
17:21: Yep, so you are acting this way because your subconscious mind believes that this is the safest way for you to be, even though it is not healthy for you, it is what you know, and the unknown is so scary.
17:30: The unknown, I don’t know what could happen.
17:32: It could be worse, and we have to retrain your subconscious mind to choose yourself because that’s not what you believe is safe right now.
17:45: We do this thing.
17:45: Yeah, I love it like.
17:46: And so that’s why I literally created the work it is that I do because.
17:50: I can talk at you all day.
17:51: I can motivational talk your ear off.
17:53: So many of my clients are like, yeah, she’s preaching cool, but you’re not gonna do anything about it to change.
17:59: That’s where we have to add the subconscious work in, and that’s where it has to be pushed.
18:03: Your body always remembers everything, and we have to retrain it.
18:08: I share this at all my talks.
18:09: It’s my favorite statistic.
18:10: It says, I learned a semi-sematic course.
18:12: It was like when you do the transformation from the mind, like mindset work reframes inspiration, you have a 20% chance of transformation.
18:20: And when you do it through the body and through the soma, you have an 80% chance of transformation.
18:24: And it’s like such a, it’s not either or you need both, right?
18:27: And so I love that you’re doing that in your work because I’m like, why are you talking like yes girl, yes girl, because we can become so aware, right?
18:34: Like your client.
18:35: She’s like, I understand that they’re taking advantage of me.
18:38: I can tell, I can see how they’re disrespecting me, but there’s this like deep holding within themselves.
18:43: They’re like, I can’t get myself, I can’t muddle my way through.
18:47: To get there, and even if you try, I think sometimes you can use willpower and be like, well, fuck this.
18:51: I’m gonna, yeah, I’m gonna run away and do all these things.
18:54: I’m gonna do me, but then it’s still gonna sit inside it and create other things.
18:59: So, or show up differently or eventually self sabotage and all the things that come with it, because the intention is incorrect.
19:07: If you’re coming from a place of, well, fuck these people, I’m gonna show.
19:10: The, that’s not sustainable as opposed to coming from a place of pure self-love and gratitude for yourself and for everything it is that you want and you desire, that is what is sustainable.
19:23: You’re not going to create a habit from a place of guilt, from a place of resentment.
19:28: It’s going to continue to destroy you.
19:31: And I push my clients so much because You can see in my marketing, I help eldest daughters become the one, the only choice.
19:40: These women are a big deal, and they can kind of feel it, but they don’t know how to make it real and This one client, she is the brand designer for unprofessional brands.
19:53: She is, she’s done my first brand, she’s doing my personal rebrand this year was about to get wild, so stay tuned for that.
19:58: I don’t know how crazy you’re about to get, but the color is about to be obnoxious and but she still fights through her own feelings of am I worthy enough to be paid this kind of money if I’m not showing up in a pantsuit?
20:09: And we already know that’s not even remotely how I roll.
20:12: And I’m like, look at how my business is taking me places.
20:16: Simply by being as wild and as unhinged and as unapologetic and as curse worthy as possible, because all these rules are made up rules and nobody fucking likes them anyway.
20:27: So why do we follow them?
20:29: And if I show her the continuous way that this is how you can show up and this is the opportunities that come to you, then she embodies that better for herself.
20:38: But I also have to remind her, this is what you put on hold when you put other people ahead of you.
20:44: This is what continues to get sacrificed, and she’s a generator.
20:48: If she’s not having fun.
20:50: She’s gonna fall asleep, yeah.
20:53: And generators are the life force, we need that, and it’s and it’s that continuous push and it’s why bespoke work and why working with people like on a one on one level is so important and not just going after like a one size fits all kind of thing works, even with eldest daughter.
21:09: We all have these things in common, but everybody’s gonna be different, and I want to be able to pull you out into your specific beauty and magnificence because you know that you’re here to be a big deal if only you could get past these things that hold you back about being the eldest daughter.
21:26: I love that.
21:27: It’s so hard too because Krin and I have talked about this, but I have so many passions and interests, and I mean I’m a manifesting generator like I could do like 500 different things at once so many things.
21:38: And it took.
21:41: I love it because she sends me all the Instagram like human as much until I brought her in her life, and I like send her all these things and she also looks at mine’s like, oh this makes so much sense.
21:50: I was like, see, keep keep doing all these things that really work for you because they sustain you.
21:55: You’re supposed to have multiple things.
21:56: If you go down into one, you’re gonna like squeeze out all the juice.
21:59: Yeah, and for a long time that whole like almost the opposite of you, right?
22:03: Like I’m gonna pick a niche and this is my niche.
22:05: I’m like.
22:05: I don’t fit a niche like, help me.
22:08: and the second I just embraced all of it, I was able to, like, exactly as you said, just come as my authentic self and show up and like, I think that’s such valuable wisdom because it’s so easy to fall into this is how it should be, or this is how I should show up.
22:25: And we live in a world of shoulds, and that is like fuck the shoulds, you know, like so much me too.
22:32: , but what I wanted to actually go backwards just a little bit cause something you said I think is really, really relatable, and I think so many people struggle with this, which is dealing with family who have hurt, traumatized or abused you, and then having to care for them because they’re sick and the guilt you feel around that.
22:50: It’s like what do you, I wanted to because I really think that is so.
22:54: I think it, I just know so many people who have had to deal with that, including like people in my family.
22:57: So what do you say to those people?
22:59: Like, what is the right answer, you know, like, cause that’s a hard boundary to set, you know, it is, I used to think that it would be impossible for me to cut my mom and my brother off.
23:10: They were so heavily intertwined, especially with my children.
23:13: And with my husband being active duty for our entire, you know, married life and multiple deployments, I relied on them a lot for help, and I think they also took advantage of me thinking that I would never be able to say no to them.
23:29: And during his last deployment, I was like, no, I don’t think I will.
23:35: You guys really suck.
23:37: You suck really bad.
23:38: Like I tried having a conversation with my brother.
23:41: It was way more violent than that.
23:44: I need to know.
23:45: I’m like, tell me the actual details.
23:47: I was like, really?
23:48: Yeah, so my brother, my brother came over.
23:51: I mean I’m cool with that, let me have some water real quick.
23:56: Because it was, it was pretty intense.
23:59: So my brother, he lives in, he lives in Texas and he visited and at first, the last time my husband left, I was like, you know what?
24:07: I’m not really on great terms with my mom, but if she’s still gonna help out with the kids, then she gets what she wants, which is to see the kids and I get a break.
24:15: The very first weekend she took them, she didn’t tell me that my brother had been in town.
24:18: And so when he rolled up at the house, I was like, who’s this man getting out of the car?
24:22: Whatever, like I was so confused.
24:24: And he was like, well, I’m in town for the weekend, like, let me know if we can talk.
24:28: So he wanted to know why our relationship had kind of, you already had a strained relationship at that point.
24:33: It had deteriorated a little bit because a complete sidebar.
24:36: We found out 3 years ago that we had two other siblings that we didn’t know about.
24:41: One of them, she has this, she’s 2 months younger than me, and she has the same exact name as I do.
24:46: Wait, hold up, Wild Wild.
24:48: Her name is also Alexis.
24:50: That’s a whole another episode.
24:53: Wild behavior.
24:54: My father is Rolling Stone.
24:57: He’s like, we’ve used this name once.
24:58: It’s really good.
24:59: Let’s just, let’s just roll with it.
25:01: Let’s just do it just embrace it for a second.
25:04: So that I know it’s hard to actually bypass that.
25:11: Yeah he did, yeah, and when I asked him, I said, why did you let the other baby mama name her daughter that knowing that I was already here?
25:18: And this fool said, I can’t control what people name their kids.
25:22: What is you getting blocked?
25:24: What is wrong with you?
25:26: That’s crazy.
25:27: So, right, so fast forward, it was my husband and I’s 10th wedding anniversary.
25:33: My brother posted about it, how he was so happy that we had made it to 10 years.
25:37: But in the same post, he also put how proud he was of our other sister, Alexis, and the dissertation she wrote and how she was becoming a PhD and da da da da.
25:46: Mind you, the internet.
25:48: You know, feel did not know that we had this other sister.
25:51: And so I told him, I said, I would have just preferred if you didn’t say anything about us at all, instead of combining this post together, because nobody ever asked me or her how you felt, how we felt, one, about having our identities completely ripped out from underneath us when we were 30 years old, or two, you know, just what it felt like to be us.
26:10: Nobody ever asked us if we were OK.
26:12: So I just expressed that to him, and he never responded.
26:16: And so I was like, well, what, there’s consequences for fucking with me.
26:19: I’m just gonna be honest with you, like, this is what happens.
26:23: And but at this point, I told him, I said, if you want to have a conversation about why our, you know, relationship has deteriorated, you need to be open to the fact about like what I’m gonna talk to you about.
26:35: And he said that he could.
26:36: And so I told him I was like, you tend to sympathize with our mother.
26:40: And I was like, I was raised differently than you.
26:45: That’s just how it feels.
26:46: I felt really responsible for both of you guys.
26:49: A lot of our childhood was about you.
26:52: A few months prior, he had told me that he had already envied me as a child.
26:56: He thought that I was popular.
26:57: He thought that I was all these things, and I was like, who, who is he talking about?
27:02: Cause it wasn’t me, but that’s how he viewed me.
27:04: So he already kind of had this like slanted view of who he thought I was, and I was like, I just felt like I was really emotionally responsible for you guys, and I just felt like I was raised differently.
27:15: And the very first thing he said was, no, you weren’t, I was there.
27:19: And the unhealed side of me lost it.
27:22: I was like, you need to get out of my house, you need to go, and he wouldn’t listen.
27:27: And so to this day I have so many regrets because my kids were there and I was yelling at him and I was like, I just need you to leave because you’re not listening to me.
27:36: And then he was calling my mom, she’s she’s psycho.
27:40: I don’t know what’s wrong with her da da da da and I’m like, I just need you to go cause you’re not.
27:44: He’s like, we’ve done everything for you.
27:46: And I was like, Get out of my house.
27:51: Like you can’t, you cannot do this.
27:53: And that was it.
27:55: I haven’t talked to either of them since.
27:59: And during, again, the 4th deployment, one of the hardest times in my life, and I, I think it’s important for you to know that.
28:09: It’s not impossible for you to let these people go because especially even if they’re elderly, again, that’s a conversation I had to have with my client.
28:17: I’m like, your grandmother is 88, she was gonna be 88 whether you were born or not.
28:22: What would she be doing if you weren’t here?
28:25: It is not your responsibility to take care of people.
28:29: You should be taking care of people because it fills you with warmth and happiness, and it comes from a place of pure joy and gratitude for everything it is that they’ve done for you.
28:40: If you feel an ounce of obligation, you’re gonna build resentment.
28:44: If you feel an ounce of guilt, you’re gonna build hatred, and that does nothing but suck the life out of you, and that energy exchange is just not equitable and it’s not fair for you.
28:56: And so the very first thing that I tell my clients when I’m telling them to create, I call them thick mommy boundaries, is you have to ask yourself, does this support the life that I’m creating?
29:06: Every decision that I make is the future version of me that already has this.
29:10: Is she acting like this?
29:11: Is she behaving like this?
29:13: Is she allowing people to say whatever they want to her?
29:15: Is she allowing people to walk all over her, to use her to abuse her, to take advantage of her time?
29:20: If the answer is no, Then the answer is no here, and that is how you become her, but you cannot become her by continuing to allow people to say whatever it is that they want for you, to, to continue to traumatize you over and over and over, even when you have told them straight to their face, you guys are messing with me, and they’re just like, I don’t care, because people are showing you who they are.
29:43: You just have to believe them.
29:45: Yeah.
29:46: I feel like I want to share like a little softer story or like a little like not just like a little in between because I think this that can show up for someone that’s like, well, I don’t have these people that are like straight in my face doing these things.
29:56: When I was going through this myself and learning how to choose myself, I distanced myself from the relationships and I was like, I ask myself every single time.
30:02: Am I doing this because I want to do this, or am I like because I generally want to give them love, or am I doing this because I feel like I have to, and just asking myself those two questions, like there was like a natural shift that also happened in my relationships so I’m like, wait, this feels so much more complete and so much more.
30:19: , being met in a relationship because every time I give you love or every time I do something that I want to do for you, it’s because I genuinely want to, and I’m not expecting you from you.
30:28: I’m just doing it because I want to, not because I have to, but there was this like very interesting internal conversations for myself where I was like, I didn’t even know what that line was.
30:37: I didn’t know, like it was kind of gray at the beginning, every decision that I had to choose, like, is this because I really want to do this or is it because I have to, I feel like someone’s expecting something of me, which could also meet us in like a little bit of an in between and I’m not take away from like your story because like, it’s beautiful that you have that story with your brother and you’re able to stand in that.
30:58: I heard when you were saying that too, like you were trying to show him how you felt and he didn’t know how to hear you.
31:04: What I think a lot of people run into in relationship, you’re like, I’m telling you this is how I feel.
31:09: And they’re like, well, I didn’t see it that way.
31:11: I’d be like, you don’t fucking get it.
31:13: That doesn’t really matter how you see it, yeah, and that’s like a reminder for everyone, I think in general is like, it really doesn’t matter how you see it.
31:23: It just matters how they feel, feel it and see it and how to do that, but now I’ll be glad that skill set.
31:28: Yeah, it, it’s really difficult to, you know, emotional intelligence is it’s something that everybody is blessed.
31:33: I was just gonna say I think that’s actually like one of the biggest issues in the Western world.
31:40: And that’s all I can speak to because I don’t, I’m not in the other two parts of the world, but I can speak for the western world.
31:45: It’s like there is such a huge lack of emotional intelligence and just even knowing how to regulate your emotions or understand your emotions or like.
31:53: like, be able to say, well, I didn’t see it that way, but I completely hear you and I, and I’m sorry that that happened to you or that you that you felt that way, you know, instead of being like, oh no, it’s like sorry, yeah, how I see it, so that’s not how it is.
32:06: That’s not how it is exactly.
32:07: It’s just it almost feels childish.
32:09: Like when I think about it, I feel it in my body like this feels like middle school to younger childish kind of that all I saw was like, no, that color is.
32:17: I swear it’s red.
32:19: That’s what I that’s what I think when I see all the media arguing.
32:21: I’m like it’s like a bunch of toddlers like that’s not what you said, you know, but I think if you’re we’re dealing in a society, especially particularly in this country, we’re dealing with a lot of adults and older adults that never regulated their nervous system.
32:37: So they essentially are acting like children because they don’t know how to.
32:41: There’s no.
32:42: There’s no emotional difference between my 4 year old and my 71 year old mother because they’re both throwing tantrums when they’re not getting their way, except the 71 year old refuses to see why she’s not getting her way, whereas my 4 year old is just like, I’m new here, so like tell me what to do.
32:59: And that’s, that’s the frustrating part because I’m like, shouldn’t you know by now?
33:04: And there’s only so much to a fault that I can hold them because they didn’t understand these things.
33:08: But when somebody comes to you and says, this is how you’re hurting me, and you say things like, I’m sorry you feel that way, that’s when it becomes on them.
33:18: That’s when it becomes, and that’s One becomes your responsibility to be like, OK, this person is not making an attempt.
33:23: I need to protect myself.
33:25: We also have to normalize slowing down our decision making so that we can take a step back.
33:31: Somebody else’s, you know, pressed for time, that is not my emergency.
33:36: You asked me to do something and you want my answer, but I’m sitting over here like.
33:40: You know, contemplating, does this support what I want?
33:43: Having this moment with myself and normalize taking that time and being like, or even if you’re a generator or manifesting generator, and you’re supposed to use your, your kind of sacral energy, you still don’t got to give them an answer.
33:55: Let them sweat.
33:56: They shouldn’t have come to you at the last possible second asking you for things, but getting your body used to saying this is a full body response for me.
34:05: This is safe.
34:07: This is normal.
34:07: Saying no is normal, saying no is safe.
34:11: Saying no is protecting myself, and this is how I move forward in the future.
34:15: And having that and taking that time, that’s really how you choose yourself.
34:19: When I was learning that myself, what people would come up to me and be like, hey, I need this done right now, or like, can you please do this right now?
34:26: Or like literally right now I be like, I get so mad.
34:28: I feel like I don’t have to do it because you said so.
34:31: Yeah, I’m not going to.
34:32: Can you ask me like, hey, when can, what we work on this, or when can we do this, you know, like, make me a part of the conversation, not just assume that I’m gonna do it when you want me to do it, yeah, because you need it done right now and you didn’t think about, yeah, giving me a heads up earlier because I have all these other things going on in my life, and that’s the importance of knowing the self, and that’s the importance of other people really knowing you at the level you want to be known at.
34:59: That’s why, even more so for me and my husband, understanding our children’s human design is important because, again, my mental projector, her environment is so important to her, and so I kind of treat her like a reflector.
35:10: So she’s deciding whether or not she wants to do a duo for dance competition next year.
35:14: She doesn’t have to make that decision until August.
35:16: We’re talking about it now.
35:17: Yeah, I’m giving her so much time to feel it out, to understand the partner that she’s potentially supposed to be, you know, partnered with.
35:24: She’s understanding her better.
35:26: She’s trying to see if this is something that she wants.
35:28: I’m giving her that time.
35:30: But my sacral Manny, she said, I don’t want to be a hip hop anymore.
35:34: I snatched her right out, yeah, because that was a full body thing for her.
35:37: Now I did tell her she had to tell her teacher.
35:39: I was like, you don’t just quit.
35:40: You gotta go tell her that you because you still have to take responsibility.
35:44: But then I have an emotional Manny Jen as well, and he just, ooh, a little wave of emotions he goes through.
35:50: So when my husband, when I send him something, I’m like, you take your time.
35:54: Yeah, you let me know.
35:56: When you come to your neutral, I love this because I had to learn that with my husband.
36:00: He, we’re both manifesting generators, but I’m sacral.
36:03: And learning no was so powerful for me because I say yes to so much and I want to say yes to a lot, but I used to say yes to a lot of things I didn’t want to do.
36:11: And now I’m like, it’s when it’s a no, it’s like an instant no or if it’s a maybe it’s a no.
36:15: And for him, he’s such an emotional decision maker and he’d be like, we’re done with this.
36:18: I’m done with this.
36:19: And I was like, OK.
36:21: Well, let’s just take a minute here.
36:22: Let’s like breathe, let’s feel this out.
36:24: So I love that you’re doing that with your kids.
36:26: That’s so powerful.
36:27: Yeah, cause I mean, you understanding as a parent that inherently you’re gonna screw your child up somehow, right?
36:33: They’re not going to escape childhood unscathed.
36:35: But if I can lean into them fully and help them understand that this is how they step into themselves now, perhaps I can save them some of the deconditioning process later.
36:46: Like, again, my 4 year old, she, there’s a new obsession every day that we must bring to daycare.
36:51: It’s this Manny Jen thing of, here’s today’s obsession, I’m gonna bring that.
36:55: And so I’m like, I choose to ask her yes or no questions because those are gonna help her go faster.
37:01: And, and it’s funny, I’ll bring both of them to Claire’s, the, the oldest and the youngest, the 4 year old, she will put everything in her basket and be done shopping in 2 minutes, my mental projector.
37:13: I like this, I think I’ll come back to it.
37:15: And we’re in there like 45 minutes and it’s beautiful to watch them work, and it also gives me a sense of, OK, wow, I’m not screwing momming up today.
37:25: This is a really good moment.
37:26: Yeah, and I’m not feeling like my oldest daughter is feeling whatever pressure she needs or feels like she has to have in order to do the thing and.
37:37: If, if we’re not taking what we’re learning and pouring it into these humans we bought here, what are we doing?
37:43: I also think they’re the mirror for us.
37:45: Well, I don’t have kids yet, but I see it in my friends and family and don’t know in astrology is like they’re also here to be that mirror for us to heal the stuff we couldn’t heal until.
37:54: They came to show us, you know, so it’s like, I think the beauty is you’re, you’re honoring their individual souls, but also they’re gonna get to say, oh look at like mom really worked and was conscious and like she healed herself too, you know, cause like we’re all healing.
38:10: Yeah, and it’s not something that I can say.
38:12: About my own mother and it’s frustrating and I think that’s a lot of.
38:17: It’s so most of our moms come in from a particular age group that like to sweep things under the rug, but it’s not every month.
38:24: You’re right, it’s not.
38:25: And I also think it’s like we’re up against generations, right?
38:28: Like I feel like our generation, our timeline, there’s something about awakening.
38:31: My mom did start to find her awakening and consciousness and she start to grow because she needed it.
38:36: But there’s still like we’re still in a transitional period, you know, like I’m just so curious what your kids are gonna say when they’re like talking to you, you know, and you’re like, Mom, this is how I feel and you say, honey, I get it.
38:48: You know, that just lands.
38:49: The other thing that you were talking about so beautifully is like human design is giving you this like resource to be able to kind of give yourself permission to be like, oh, I see my kids differently.
38:59: And I also cannot wait for a world part of like this podcast and being fully expressed is about like not you projecting your stuff on how things should be, but versus allowing that person to blossom in the way that they are.
39:12: And in the gram was that for me, when I started learning all these things, I was like, wow, all these people are so And I can honor that and I can celebrate that and I’m like, wait, I can’t wait till a world where we’re living and everyone’s like, I know.
39:26: I love you like you’re just doing you and I’m not even judging you.
39:29: Like there’s no like internal projections and I’m hoping that we can get there, but who knows if the psyche can evolve that quickly.
39:34: I wish, I hope it can as projectors, I think we get frustrated that humanity isn’t evolving at the pace that we would want it to get to.
39:43: It doesn’t, I’m a September Virgo too, so I’m also always like.
39:47: Why aren’t you doing that?
39:52: But I do struggle with this.
39:53: We talk about moon moon.
39:56: So I think about this too because it bugs me so much.
39:59: Like I’m like I’m in my little bubble and then I got in the real world and I’m like.
40:04: Am I the alien or like are you like, am I, am I the weirdo or like did I miss something like we’re the aliens for sure.
40:11: And even when I started this work, we’re like this one it’s messed up.
40:13: Let’s come down here and try to hold some frequency of love.
40:17: I got a lot of things to say to my soul when we’re done here.
40:20: I love all the memes where it’s like you chose to come here and you’re like, Did I vote?
40:24: Did I?
40:25: I get frustrated when I think about that.
40:27: I did, I did another podcast earlier this week and she was like, Do you believe that That you know, you intentionally signed up to have these parents and this experience, and I was like, it’s not that I don’t believe it.
40:38: I’m having a hard time accepting it because I’m like, my soul would sign a contract to have these particular parents for whatever reason I have to learn.
40:47: My soul would sign a contract to come to be on this planet right when this shift, like the human design shift is supposed to happen in 2027.
40:54: I’m like, I would be here right at the beginning.
40:56: I would say this is what I want right now, and I’m like, I, I’m just still accepting it because I’m like, apparently I was a happy little blip somewhere else in the universe and I was like, you know what we need right now for the next, you know, couple 1000 years?
41:11: A little torture, a couple of lessons, and I’m like, I don’t get it, but that’s the point of it, right?
41:20: Yes, to be like this is what we’re here to do, this is what we’re here to learn, and the more that I lean into my projection is, the more that I lean into my own fire, the more that I lean into who I am.
41:29: Every day I become so much more fulfilled and so much happier that I get to be me because I look at other people and I’m like, they are not like me.
41:37: They do not see things the way that I see them.
41:39: They don’t understand, they don’t absorb energy the way that I do.
41:42: I am so incredibly powerful.
41:44: I am so.
41:45: There is nothing I can do, and it feels so good and it doesn’t feel ostracizing.
41:51: It doesn’t feel like, oh, she’s this weirdo, she’s this outcast.
41:54: It’s like, look at all of this power that she has simply because she decided it was hers and all of these different You know, astrology, human design, all of these maps that we’re given, they’re so validating for us, and they’re here to lead, you know, lead the way for us to feel as powerful and that’s just what I want for every other woman that I help to them be like, damn, I’m a bad bitch.
42:19: Like, who nobody can mess with me and I get to help people in that way.
42:25: And when that lands in your body, like that’s something to fight for, you know what I mean?
42:29: I think that’s like.
42:30: Like if you’re hearing like just talk, you’re like, I fucking want that.
42:34: That’s possible, you know, like if you’ve meant that, but then also once it lands you’re like, I fought for it and I’m not giving it up.
42:40: Like this is my, this is mine.
42:42: Yeah, this is how it gets to be.
42:45: Show me how good.
42:46: I can get from here.
42:48: It’s only up from here.
42:50: And so many people come into my DMs that are pretty established and they’re like, how do you just say the thing that you say?
42:58: How do you do the thing it is that you do?
43:00: And they’re looking at me with wonder, and I’m like, You just do, you just do, OK, I will do, but also it’s like this isn’t something that’s unique to me.
43:11: Everybody can have this, but you have to trust yourself enough, you have to know yourself enough, you have to own who you are enough, and you have to be brave enough to say.
43:22: I’m gonna make my money being weird.
43:25: I’m gonna say the thing that needs to be said.
43:28: That unpopular opinion you’re hoarding, probably not as unpopular, but that thing you’re really thinking, that’s what’s gonna propel you forward.
43:36: And that’s why I switched to helping women, like, there’s two different ways that I help women.
43:41: It’s like, one, get established in the confidence for their business, and then two, it’s this woman who has This beautiful 67 figure business, people love her, but she knows that there’s more, and now she’s ready to take her impact to the world, right?
43:55: She’s ready to be Oprah.
43:57: She’s ready to just counsel the millions that she’s here to counsel, right?
44:04: Cause it feels so good and it’s like, but she knows that her next level up.
44:09: Has to be completely different.
44:10: She knows that she has to go inward to be that person for people to see.
44:14: She has to be a different type of leader than she’s been so far, but she knows that that’s what she’s ready for and that’s where she’s going.
44:22: I love that.
44:24: so good, so good.
44:26: Oh, I thought I was doing this.
44:32: I love it.
44:34: so there’s one I wanted to ask like a little bit about money, but like, is there anything you want to share about wealth?
44:40: Before I transition it to more of you, and wealth wealth for me is the way that I’m dressed today is my idea of wealth.
44:48: It’s Who I am invites me into spaces to be fully myself.
44:53: And I did another podcast and she was like, you embody this new age idea of wealth identity.
45:00: And it’s like, it doesn’t feel the same.
45:02: It doesn’t look the same.
45:04: It’s in the same respect we talk about everything.
45:06: It’s what feels good for you.
45:08: Wealth is getting everything it is that you want, having the freedom to buy, to do whatever it is that you want.
45:17: Wealth to me looks like we flew.
45:19: We flew Comfort Plus to our vacation in January and I said, oh, I could lean back and my seat came up.
45:27: I said, OK, this is cool.
45:30: I want more of this and it’s like exploring wealth for me is being able to buy sneakers that my mom refused to pay for when I was younger and being like, every time I sign a mastermind client, I buy myself a pair of sneakers because that makes me feel good and It pulls me out of scarcity that, oh well, I only signed one client this month, it’s never gonna show up again.
45:55: It’s no, thank you for trusting me.
45:58: I’m trusting myself.
45:59: I’m pushing my money back out so that it can come to me.
46:02: Wealth isn’t just hoarding, it’s constantly revolving.
46:05: It’s recognizing that money flows easily to you as you flow it back out, and that there’s unlimited amounts of it, literally.
46:15: Nothing is off limits to you.
46:17: I love that.
46:18: We had another Money, like energetic money expert on it, and she said the same thing that like pay yourself first.
46:24: And that it’s like 50% out, 50% in and not hoarding and I love that.
46:29: It’s like so in online, so good.
46:32: so with all of our guests, we love to ask the very common question as like in your life today, where do you feel called to be more fully expressed?
46:39: Is it in your life, relationships or business anywhere?
46:44: I think for me it’s funny because this isn’t a topic that comes up so often for me in particular.
46:51: We talk about it randomly with my clients, but I think for me the only place that I’m not fully, fully expressed is in my own sexual prowess with my husband.
47:02: I had a lot of traumas there from when I was in the military and a piece of that felt like it was unsafe to be that person anymore, but Everything, all of my human design, my numerology, my gene keys are written on my wall where I can see it every day, and all of those are over the quarterly personal and life goals that I create for myself.
47:24: And what my personal life goal for this quarter is I just want to be myself.
47:31: And the only place that I don’t really do that yet.
47:36: It’s in sheets.
47:38: So that’s and that’s probably the weirdest place that that question could have gone, but it’s it’s the only place that I feel that way because you see my social media, I really don’t give a fuck.
47:49: I’m all over the place, and that is how I prefer it because that is what I show people and that that’s how they see what’s available to me.
47:56: I think I’m a lot more unhinged than a lot of business owners that I see or know.
48:02: But I think it’s important to recognize that there’s always work to do.
48:07: There’s always somewhere you could be more of yourself, and it’s something that I’m being so open about doing for myself because I know that if I allow more of that there, then I’m gonna feel, you know, more alive and open in all these other places too, and that’s gonna invite more money.
48:24: That’s gonna invite more women who want to learn from me.
48:26: That’s gonna invite all of these things, all of it is connected.
48:30: You cannot compartmentalize.
48:32: your fullest expression.
48:33: It’s all together.
48:35: I love that you shared that answer because I just feel like not so many women are going to say that out loud, you know what I mean?
48:40: And this is an area that I also had to work on with myself because that in that room, like, it’s such an intimate vulnerable, the most intimate, most vulnerable, and there’s so much around that topic where either you have past traumas or no one talked to you about it, whatever that was and I do think that when you tap into that, like your point, it’s just more water manifest more magic is gonna come out and I think as a fully expressed woman is like, yes, work on the life, the relationships of business and then all these other areas where you feel called and I think when you feel that in here and you’re like, OK, now it’s now it’s time for me to focus on this part.
49:17: That’s OK, and you get to fully express that too.
49:19: That’s the deepest part, I think.
49:21: So it is, you can, it’s so much easier to find, I think, fullest expression outwardly, and then it’s like you start like peeling back the layers and that’s like the ultimate, especially like if you’re really close with your partner, like that’s, that’s the person that there’s no masks, you know, like they see you the most.
49:37: So, or Maybe there are masks, but you don’t want to be, you know, you know, she wants to be a unicorn I don’t know as long as everybody’s OK with it, right?
49:55: But it’s like, and I think too because I was telling my husband this yesterday because he’s a manifester, I’m like, I can’t read you the way I read other people.
50:02: It’s really hard.
50:04: you know, like, I just don’t know you, and I was like, and there’s very few people for me as a projector that I want to be seen by that that is not the exchange of money, right?
50:14: You pay me for my aura now because it is powerful and it changes your life.
50:20: And I’m like, but you’re one of the very few people that I want to feel seen by, like, and so it’s like, that’s really important, like that’s really heavy hitting, But it impacts, it impacts everything.
50:33: It impacts so much.
50:34: I like clockwork.
50:36: We’ll get my Brazilian every 4 weeks and I’m gonna sit there wide on the table and we’re gonna have a conversation and I still don’t feel vulnerable or exposed the way that I do in, you know, your, your sexual relationships and it’s like that is the ultimate.
50:51: Freedom that is the ultimate release to be that person with your partner, and when you can feel that, everything else unfolds.
51:00: And so it’s like if you’re looking at me like, wow, she’s completely out there and I haven’t even conquered this one major aspect just wait just wait and just see what’s available for you.
51:12: Right.
51:17: Oh my God, right?
51:18: I call my clients undeniable, inevitable, inevitable is a good one.
51:23: Yeah, so it’s, it’s all of those things you know that it’s coming.
51:28: It’s already gonna happen.
51:30: It’s just about a matter of when I choose to take that power and fully harness it.
51:34: , thank you so much.
51:37: I feel like this conversation has been absolutely magnificent, magical, inevitable.
51:45: Literally like thank you for bringing your energy because especially in these spaces, it’s just so important, but you’re also just owning you and you, we have this conversation with the different guests and stuff, you can feel someone’s authenticity and then when they bring it, I’m like, this just blows.
52:00: So much nicely.
52:01: So thank you for being here.
52:03: Thank you for having me and thank you for having this space where you encourage so many people to continue to be themselves because we’re stepping into this new age of the focus on the self and not necessarily on the collective, and we change the collective by focusing on ourselves.
52:19: And the fastest way that we do that is reaching into every part of our self and being her.
52:25: Of course she had to drop a mic drop moment.
52:28: I do.
52:30: , where can people find you?
52:33: Yes, so you can find me on Instagram at A Frank Life coach.
52:37: Threads is where I’m the absolute worst.
52:40: So go there first, because I do not stop on threads.
52:45: If you’re like, I’m just trying to do a vibe check.
52:48: I’m also on LinkedIn, completely unhinged on that platform as well, because LinkedIn is boring and I am not, so it’s so boring and I am not and it’s so much fun.
52:58: , and then I have the two programs you can work with me in, which is Audacity and the Ruthless Pursuit of Self-mastermind, which can both be found at the FCcoach.com.
53:08: Amazing, beautiful.
53:09: Thank you, thank you.
53:11: Thank you so much for tuning in.
53:13: We really appreciate you being here.
53:15: If you enjoyed this episode, we’d be grateful if you could leave us a review and share it with a friend.
53:20: Also, we would love to hear from you.
53:22: Reach out to us on Instagram and let us know where you feel inspired to express yourself as you embrace this next era.
53:29: We are here to support you and encourage you.
53:32: See you on the next one.
0:03: We are your hosts, Samantha and Karenna.
0:06: This is a show where we invite you into your fullest express self and life, relationships, and business.
0:11: We believe that if you crave more, you are meant for more.
0:14: There is room for all of us to be fully expressed.
0:17: Along with the show, we’ve created a virtual community to connect you with fellow listeners.
0:22: Make sure to check out the fully expressed community membership.
0:25: You’ll find the link to join in the show notes and on our website.
0:28: So excited to see you there.
0:30: Enjoy this new episode.
0:34: Welcome back to another episode of the Fully expressed podcast.
0:38: I’m so excited to introduce to you our newest guest.
0:42: Her name is Alexis Frank.
0:44: She is a life coach and the creator of life and business coaching for eldest daughter entrepreneurs.
0:50: After Decade of trying to fit into corporate boxes that never felt right, she decided to ditch the rules.
0:56: Now she helps leaders and specifically eldest daughters break free from outdated expectations, align with their true selves, and unapologetically build their lives and the businesses they deserve.
1:08: Oh, look at me go.
1:10: Look at you, girl.
1:11: Is she fully expressed or what?
1:13: Yeah, it’s like what you read your bio or you send your info, and also I could see you on Instagram and I’m like, this girl literally lives by her own rules and if there are rules, maybe there are no rules, there are none.
1:25: There’s is that the Matrix, there is no spoon.
1:27: Yeah, there is a.
1:30: But we’re so excited to have you here.
1:31: I would like to hear how your journey got to this place of like, what does it look like to live?
1:35: Like, no rules, and you talk so much about the eldest daughter, which I’m also the eldest daughter, so I’m excited to like learn from you and what that means, and why you specifically speak to the eldest daughter.
1:46: Hm, yeah, so the journey with the eldest daughter has probably been about a year old, and so it started from a place of needing to be more specific.
1:57: And I now have like the niciest niche of all niches, and I used to hate that idea, but I was really trying to figure out who is this woman that I’m trying to help because she’s so specific, and I was doing market research for a program that I was creating.
2:14: And I went back and I was like, wait a minute, and I’m self-projected in human design, so I pop on a voice note and I’m just yammering at myself and I’m like, wait a minute.
2:24: I think it’s the eldest daughter.
2:26: And then I went back and I asked all of the women who I had interviewed for this market research.
2:30: I was like, what’s your birth order?
2:32: 80% of them were the eldest daughter.
2:34: And I was like, whoa, that’s it, right?
2:36: Like it was so easy.
2:38: And I think about the fact that even though I’m actually the youngest in My two sibling unit, I’m the only daughter, which by default makes me the oldest daughter.
2:49: I’m the only daughter too.
2:51: And and that and it’s the same thing because it’s like it falls into the expectation is put on you.
2:57: The expectation to be, the expectation to not only succeed in professional arena, but also in like a domestic arena too.
3:05: It’s like, oh, you have to take care of other people, cook, clean, do all these things, but also, you should probably be a doctor or a lawyer and Whether anybody says it out loud or not, the family legacy and name is riding on you, and this expectation comes at you from the time you’re able to walk, and by the time you’re 7 years old, you don’t even know who you are or who you want to be, because everybody else has told you what you should be, or who you are supposed to be or how you should act.
3:31: And then you look up one day and you’re like, wait a minute, I don’t even know, like or trust myself.
3:38: And this comes deeply into entrepreneurship, because a lot of business coaches talk about oh you have to build that no like and trust factor.
3:45: And I’m like, but you don’t know like and trust yourself.
3:47: And I see it so much in reflected in low prices in this scarcity of will people see me, this idea that I have to work 80 hours a week to succeed in order to become something so that I don’t let other people down.
4:02: And it’s this heavy burden and then for the eldest daughters like me who then are now parents.
4:08: Well damn, now I gotta keep, you know, kids afloat.
4:12: Now I’m desperate to not fuck them up the way that I was screwed up.
4:15: Yeah, that’s true.
4:18: And now you’re hovering, and you’re like, and with my eldest daughter, she’s a mental projector, so she’s the closest thing there is to a reflector without being one.
4:27: And so now I’m over here like, you don’t stop parenting, you mind your business, take care of yourself, but also trying to honor everything that she is.
4:35: And then it’s like there’s trauma over here, but then empowerment over here.
4:39: And how can I use this natural leadership that I have to actually create wealth for myself, to create happiness and fulfillment for myself.
4:47: And realized that the rule book was designed by someone who wanted to keep other people in boxes, and I just don’t do that.
4:56: It’s just not my thing.
4:57: OK, so let’s, there’s so much to peel back in what you just said.
5:01: I do want to clarify one thing though.
5:02: So you said eldest daughter, is that also the only daughter of the family?
5:06: OK, so either you’re the only daughter, but you have 3 or 4 brothers, it’s still only the eldest daughter and then let’s, yeah, obviously the rest of it makes sense.
5:14: I just want to clarify.
5:15: Yeah, by default, cause yeah, you’re the only one, so that makes you the the same way it’s like, oh, if we had like a a woman president, oh, she would have been like the first, oh like, you know.
5:26: Black woman president, she would have been the first woman president, right?
5:30: Like the, the nuance is there, but when you have the, well, I have 3 older brothers, but I think about how your 3 older brothers are probably being treated compared to what they’re asking of you.
5:40: So it’s the same.
5:40: It’s interesting because I have one older brother and in my whole life it was all about him and he went to law school like they wanted him to be an attorney and my mom wanted me be.
5:49: marry someone wealthy.
5:50: Like that was her vision because she grew up very poor and she worked really hard, but like it was interesting because she didn’t see that same thing in me.
5:57: But then now as an adult, I’m like the mom to my whole family and that’s actually what I think is like what you’re speaking to was projected on me unknowingly.
6:07: It just didn’t really arrive or arise until I was older.
6:11: Yeah.
6:12: And I’d also say like you’ve talked about this so much, like where you have felt like you’ve always been super creative and you always felt like you had to be put in these boxes.
6:20: Yeah, yeah, so I think you still felt it.
6:22: Yeah, she did tell me I’d be a good lawyer.
6:24: She never was like, you’d be a great artist, which is what I wanted to hear.
6:27: She was like, you’d be such a good attorney.
6:28: I’m like, I was definitely, I think what’s interesting is like I definitely.
6:34: What you’re talking about for sure.
6:36: I mean, I was the eldest daughter.
6:38: I definitely took on all those things of like, I’m responsible for my mom.
6:41: I’m responsible for my sister.
6:42: I do feel like the legacy piece that doesn’t show up like my parents are both entrepreneurs, like no part of them have ever pushed on to me that I’m responsible for taking my dad’s accounting business and financial business.
6:53: He’s never said that, but there is this like deep.
6:57: Belief that I would say that runs in like because he’s giving me so much, I’m responsible for taking it to that next level, or I feel like almost like because he’s done so good for me like I want to do even better and I also come from like parents that Immigrated here, right?
7:12: It’s like I’m first generation born here and so there’s a lot of that too, and that feels like a responsibility.
7:18: I’m just so curious like as I’m talking about I’m gonna go reach out to my sister and be like, do you feel that way too because she’s younger than me by 2 years.
7:24: I know she feels that same pressure, but I do feel that same like, I have felt and this is constantly something that I’m working on on my own is like.
7:33: This financial pressure to like, figure it out on my own, have it all together, show up, because not only do I don’t want to fail myself, but I also feel it’s responsible to my family, yeah.
7:43: Which is so interesting, and I, I think about this all the time, and it’s something that I’m so glad that we’re talking about today.
7:49: Yeah, it’s, it’s such a tough break, and I’ve done other podcasts with women who aren’t the eldest daughter, and they’re like, I just don’t feel this the way that you do.
7:57: Like, I don’t get it.
7:58: Yeah, they’re like, I don’t get it, but I can see why it is this thing, and I think it helps them gain perspective for their Clients because they can’t necessarily relate to them in this specific modality, but it helps them see, OK, this is a burden that they’re really feeling cause, and I, I think too that if the shoe fits, wear it because I’ve had plenty of people be like, well, I’m, you know, the youngest of 4 daughters and for some reason I feel this burden and it’s like.
8:26: Your birth order sometimes doesn’t always dictate which one of the children your parents decide that they’re gonna be the one.
8:33: So again, if the shoe fits, wear it, but for the most part, it is this first daughter that The hopes just get hung on, and you’re right, it’s just like unspoken thing of like, well she was born capable, and because she was born incapable, then she has to exceed these expectations.
8:51: She has to, they just put them on you and it it’s very difficult to walk with.
8:56: He still laugh cause I’m like, now my dad has never said this, like you’re the son of our family, but He’s never said that in his words, right?
9:05: But I’ve always been like, it’s almost like he feels like I’m the son of our family.
9:08: Like, no one can do it all, you know, in some ways.
9:11: So it’s so interesting to feel that.
9:14: And and that’s what I want to talk about like it’s not so much that they had to directly say that you are responsible and I’m putting this pressure on you and it sounds like it’s also something that we’ve energetically.
9:23: Put on ourselves unconsciously and subconsciously and have made these here to be stories to believe that these are true, even though our parents are doing the best that they can and they’re just trying to show up in the best that they can, but there is something about us taking that on.
9:37: Yeah.
9:37: I think a lot of it has to do with some of the upbringing that you’re talking about.
9:41: So like, the eldest daughter to immigrants is also an entirely different, an entirely different story, and then for me, being the eldest daughter to narcissists has its own take on things because It wasn’t unspoken.
9:57: There was this abrasive way of me being emotionally responsible for my mother and her behavior and making her feel like, well, I have to be her friend.
10:11: I have to make sure she’s OK.
10:12: Did she have a bad day?
10:14: I should probably ask about her.
10:16: And then this is a whole entire other burden of Is my mom OK?
10:21: Is she all right?
10:22: Do I need to do something for her?
10:24: And that builds into an entirely different level of now in my business, I’m coddling people, I’m trying to be their mom.
10:34: I’m attracting people that don’t want to pay my rates because they see me as someone who can like.
10:40: Make them feel better as opposed to empowering them out of whatever it is that they’re feeling, and constantly having to go deep in myself like, wait a minute, I am not my mom’s mother, and that just added an entirely different layer, and there’s so many different nuance within the eldest daughter that I see everywhere, but for the most part, we all have this feeling of It has to be me, whether it’s unspoken or not, and I long to release my clients of that because they’re so powerful, and they’ve shoved themselves in this box that they never asked to be in, and they don’t even realize that they are in.
11:18: And once they explore who they really are, once they explore what is available to them, once they explore just being able to have money and not feel like they have to give it to other people or take care of family, or pick up the phone when people call out of obligation, but out of, I’m so glad I get to hear from you today, just changing that up completely changes their power dynamic and it just expands them.
11:43: Yeah, I’ve lived this breathe this in my life, so I’m like breach, it’s it’s so it’s so interesting too cause for me, like I still relate to this so much, but it showed up just a little differently, like almost on the opposite spectrum where I feel like my mom had a lot of expectations of me when I was younger and then my brother really became the sole focus, and even now he’s going through a difficult time.
12:04: And he’s still the obsession, but it’s almost like she’s like, well, I don’t have to worry about you.
12:09: You’re fine.
12:10: So now then that’s where I became kind of the mom to everybody because she’s like, you’re emotionally stable, you don’t need my attention, you don’t need my mothering.
12:18: I’m going to obsess all over on this person.
12:20: So yeah, it almost showed up like in that flip way of instead of like outwardly being like, you’re responsible, it’s like a silent good luck to you, like, yeah, and then there’s this innate feeling of neglect, if you will, right, because My brother’s just the same.
12:35: He’s older than me, but he’s always ridden the the starving artist, you know, trope, and my mom clung to him because she was a public school teacher.
12:44: So when I joined the army at 17, I was already making more money than she ever did as a teacher, and she let me know that you’re always, you make so much more money.
12:53: And I was like, hold on a minute now.
12:55: Yeah, I went to the army because I didn’t want you to have to take out student loans in my name.
13:00: She made me fear debt so badly.
13:03: Everything was scarcity.
13:05: But she had no problem, you know, my brother was like, I wanna do dance, I wanna do this and that.
13:10: I’m like, that’s fine.
13:11: Go for your dreams.
13:12: Like, who am I to say anything about it?
13:13: But I felt like he took up so much of her presence and her energy, and it was expected that I had my act together.
13:23: And then I started to spend a lot of my hard earned money on them because they were my family and we struggled so hard coming up this, that and the third, but then Where it can differ with a lot of families was then that became an expectation.
13:38: My kindness and my willingness to give and share from them became expected that this is what I was supposed to do.
13:44: And it took me a really long time, I’m only talking like 2 years ago, to be like, wait a second.
13:51: I don’t owe y’all shit.
13:53: Like, I, I don’t have to do any of this.
13:56: I don’t have to do any of this, and the fact that you expected of me, it hurts because I had posted back in like September that I bought this beautiful house in Marietta.
14:06: It’s a dream house.
14:07: I have like my dream pool, my kids, I just, I love this for us.
14:12: And my family for the first time, they don’t know where I live.
14:15: And it was difficult for me because I would have always more than gladly given to them everything that I had, but once they dropped that expectation on me, once it became this thing of you’re supposed to do this for me, that’s why I want to do it no more.
14:32: And that’s why my in-laws get all my love now, because they expect nothing from me, but I love them and they treat me as their own.
14:40: But I think so many eldest daughters struggle to come out of this feeling of, well, it’s expected of me, and that’s where so much of their energy is zapped, so much of their longing to do things is zapped because they know that whatever it is they create, somebody is gonna want a piece of it, and they have to come out.
14:57: From that, in order to truly experience the abundance that is available to them without those expectations.
15:05: It’s like going to, well, I think about this, the way I think about this is like giving from a place of love, not for their love.
15:12: and what I would love to peel that back just a little bit of like, how do you support someone that’s in that space because as someone who has navigated that, that’s like such a touchy area with family, I think, and with like mothers and You know, especially if you’re someone that’s really close to your mom, or like you and your mom are like besties, and, you know, there’s moments of like that things are really good, but then all of a sudden there is moments of expectation that you’re like picking up on.
15:34: You’re like, oh, you expect this of me, and maybe I don’t have the capacity to give it to you right now, so you’re getting angry at me for not giving it to you.
15:42: So how do you navigate that in between in those conversations with people that are really close to you, but then also you want more of them, but you realize that they’re creating this.
15:53: Expectation between the two of you.
15:55: Yeah, that’s a really great question.
15:58: it’s interesting because I had a conversation with one of my clients last night, and so she’s a two line in human design, so she likes to hermit and I gotta pull her out of her cave like every other week.
16:08: I’m like, hey, you ghosted us for a minute, come on back out, but it’s normal.
16:15: It my two line clients are, they’re a little bit of a struggle cause I have to go find them.
16:20: But for her it’s heavy right now on her family needing her, and she was like, I understand that my family needs me, and I mirrored that back to her and I was like, is that something that’s actually true or is that something that is only true because you allow it?
16:34: And naturally, of course, it took her an hour to answer cause I’m like, you settle with that for a second, because I know that I kind of went for the jugular ride in that moment and She has a struggle because a lot of her family is elderly, a lot of them are sick, and she feels like, you know, I have to help these people, I have to help these people, even though half of them have been completely disrespectful of the way that they have treated her and completely ignored her feelings for the majority of her life.
17:01: And so what I do inside of my work is I combine this kind of conscious level change in thought with somatic practice like breath work, EFT tapping.
17:10: We need to go into the body, because Your subconscious mind dictates everything that your conscious mind sees.
17:18: Your entire reality is dictated by your subconscious mind.
17:21: Yep, so you are acting this way because your subconscious mind believes that this is the safest way for you to be, even though it is not healthy for you, it is what you know, and the unknown is so scary.
17:30: The unknown, I don’t know what could happen.
17:32: It could be worse, and we have to retrain your subconscious mind to choose yourself because that’s not what you believe is safe right now.
17:45: We do this thing.
17:45: Yeah, I love it like.
17:46: And so that’s why I literally created the work it is that I do because.
17:50: I can talk at you all day.
17:51: I can motivational talk your ear off.
17:53: So many of my clients are like, yeah, she’s preaching cool, but you’re not gonna do anything about it to change.
17:59: That’s where we have to add the subconscious work in, and that’s where it has to be pushed.
18:03: Your body always remembers everything, and we have to retrain it.
18:08: I share this at all my talks.
18:09: It’s my favorite statistic.
18:10: It says, I learned a semi-sematic course.
18:12: It was like when you do the transformation from the mind, like mindset work reframes inspiration, you have a 20% chance of transformation.
18:20: And when you do it through the body and through the soma, you have an 80% chance of transformation.
18:24: And it’s like such a, it’s not either or you need both, right?
18:27: And so I love that you’re doing that in your work because I’m like, why are you talking like yes girl, yes girl, because we can become so aware, right?
18:34: Like your client.
18:35: She’s like, I understand that they’re taking advantage of me.
18:38: I can tell, I can see how they’re disrespecting me, but there’s this like deep holding within themselves.
18:43: They’re like, I can’t get myself, I can’t muddle my way through.
18:47: To get there, and even if you try, I think sometimes you can use willpower and be like, well, fuck this.
18:51: I’m gonna, yeah, I’m gonna run away and do all these things.
18:54: I’m gonna do me, but then it’s still gonna sit inside it and create other things.
18:59: So, or show up differently or eventually self sabotage and all the things that come with it, because the intention is incorrect.
19:07: If you’re coming from a place of, well, fuck these people, I’m gonna show.
19:10: The, that’s not sustainable as opposed to coming from a place of pure self-love and gratitude for yourself and for everything it is that you want and you desire, that is what is sustainable.
19:23: You’re not going to create a habit from a place of guilt, from a place of resentment.
19:28: It’s going to continue to destroy you.
19:31: And I push my clients so much because You can see in my marketing, I help eldest daughters become the one, the only choice.
19:40: These women are a big deal, and they can kind of feel it, but they don’t know how to make it real and This one client, she is the brand designer for unprofessional brands.
19:53: She is, she’s done my first brand, she’s doing my personal rebrand this year was about to get wild, so stay tuned for that.
19:58: I don’t know how crazy you’re about to get, but the color is about to be obnoxious and but she still fights through her own feelings of am I worthy enough to be paid this kind of money if I’m not showing up in a pantsuit?
20:09: And we already know that’s not even remotely how I roll.
20:12: And I’m like, look at how my business is taking me places.
20:16: Simply by being as wild and as unhinged and as unapologetic and as curse worthy as possible, because all these rules are made up rules and nobody fucking likes them anyway.
20:27: So why do we follow them?
20:29: And if I show her the continuous way that this is how you can show up and this is the opportunities that come to you, then she embodies that better for herself.
20:38: But I also have to remind her, this is what you put on hold when you put other people ahead of you.
20:44: This is what continues to get sacrificed, and she’s a generator.
20:48: If she’s not having fun.
20:50: She’s gonna fall asleep, yeah.
20:53: And generators are the life force, we need that, and it’s and it’s that continuous push and it’s why bespoke work and why working with people like on a one on one level is so important and not just going after like a one size fits all kind of thing works, even with eldest daughter.
21:09: We all have these things in common, but everybody’s gonna be different, and I want to be able to pull you out into your specific beauty and magnificence because you know that you’re here to be a big deal if only you could get past these things that hold you back about being the eldest daughter.
21:26: I love that.
21:27: It’s so hard too because Krin and I have talked about this, but I have so many passions and interests, and I mean I’m a manifesting generator like I could do like 500 different things at once so many things.
21:38: And it took.
21:41: I love it because she sends me all the Instagram like human as much until I brought her in her life, and I like send her all these things and she also looks at mine’s like, oh this makes so much sense.
21:50: I was like, see, keep keep doing all these things that really work for you because they sustain you.
21:55: You’re supposed to have multiple things.
21:56: If you go down into one, you’re gonna like squeeze out all the juice.
21:59: Yeah, and for a long time that whole like almost the opposite of you, right?
22:03: Like I’m gonna pick a niche and this is my niche.
22:05: I’m like.
22:05: I don’t fit a niche like, help me.
22:08: and the second I just embraced all of it, I was able to, like, exactly as you said, just come as my authentic self and show up and like, I think that’s such valuable wisdom because it’s so easy to fall into this is how it should be, or this is how I should show up.
22:25: And we live in a world of shoulds, and that is like fuck the shoulds, you know, like so much me too.
22:32: , but what I wanted to actually go backwards just a little bit cause something you said I think is really, really relatable, and I think so many people struggle with this, which is dealing with family who have hurt, traumatized or abused you, and then having to care for them because they’re sick and the guilt you feel around that.
22:50: It’s like what do you, I wanted to because I really think that is so.
22:54: I think it, I just know so many people who have had to deal with that, including like people in my family.
22:57: So what do you say to those people?
22:59: Like, what is the right answer, you know, like, cause that’s a hard boundary to set, you know, it is, I used to think that it would be impossible for me to cut my mom and my brother off.
23:10: They were so heavily intertwined, especially with my children.
23:13: And with my husband being active duty for our entire, you know, married life and multiple deployments, I relied on them a lot for help, and I think they also took advantage of me thinking that I would never be able to say no to them.
23:29: And during his last deployment, I was like, no, I don’t think I will.
23:35: You guys really suck.
23:37: You suck really bad.
23:38: Like I tried having a conversation with my brother.
23:41: It was way more violent than that.
23:44: I need to know.
23:45: I’m like, tell me the actual details.
23:47: I was like, really?
23:48: Yeah, so my brother, my brother came over.
23:51: I mean I’m cool with that, let me have some water real quick.
23:56: Because it was, it was pretty intense.
23:59: So my brother, he lives in, he lives in Texas and he visited and at first, the last time my husband left, I was like, you know what?
24:07: I’m not really on great terms with my mom, but if she’s still gonna help out with the kids, then she gets what she wants, which is to see the kids and I get a break.
24:15: The very first weekend she took them, she didn’t tell me that my brother had been in town.
24:18: And so when he rolled up at the house, I was like, who’s this man getting out of the car?
24:22: Whatever, like I was so confused.
24:24: And he was like, well, I’m in town for the weekend, like, let me know if we can talk.
24:28: So he wanted to know why our relationship had kind of, you already had a strained relationship at that point.
24:33: It had deteriorated a little bit because a complete sidebar.
24:36: We found out 3 years ago that we had two other siblings that we didn’t know about.
24:41: One of them, she has this, she’s 2 months younger than me, and she has the same exact name as I do.
24:46: Wait, hold up, Wild Wild.
24:48: Her name is also Alexis.
24:50: That’s a whole another episode.
24:53: Wild behavior.
24:54: My father is Rolling Stone.
24:57: He’s like, we’ve used this name once.
24:58: It’s really good.
24:59: Let’s just, let’s just roll with it.
25:01: Let’s just do it just embrace it for a second.
25:04: So that I know it’s hard to actually bypass that.
25:11: Yeah he did, yeah, and when I asked him, I said, why did you let the other baby mama name her daughter that knowing that I was already here?
25:18: And this fool said, I can’t control what people name their kids.
25:22: What is you getting blocked?
25:24: What is wrong with you?
25:26: That’s crazy.
25:27: So, right, so fast forward, it was my husband and I’s 10th wedding anniversary.
25:33: My brother posted about it, how he was so happy that we had made it to 10 years.
25:37: But in the same post, he also put how proud he was of our other sister, Alexis, and the dissertation she wrote and how she was becoming a PhD and da da da da.
25:46: Mind you, the internet.
25:48: You know, feel did not know that we had this other sister.
25:51: And so I told him, I said, I would have just preferred if you didn’t say anything about us at all, instead of combining this post together, because nobody ever asked me or her how you felt, how we felt, one, about having our identities completely ripped out from underneath us when we were 30 years old, or two, you know, just what it felt like to be us.
26:10: Nobody ever asked us if we were OK.
26:12: So I just expressed that to him, and he never responded.
26:16: And so I was like, well, what, there’s consequences for fucking with me.
26:19: I’m just gonna be honest with you, like, this is what happens.
26:23: And but at this point, I told him, I said, if you want to have a conversation about why our, you know, relationship has deteriorated, you need to be open to the fact about like what I’m gonna talk to you about.
26:35: And he said that he could.
26:36: And so I told him I was like, you tend to sympathize with our mother.
26:40: And I was like, I was raised differently than you.
26:45: That’s just how it feels.
26:46: I felt really responsible for both of you guys.
26:49: A lot of our childhood was about you.
26:52: A few months prior, he had told me that he had already envied me as a child.
26:56: He thought that I was popular.
26:57: He thought that I was all these things, and I was like, who, who is he talking about?
27:02: Cause it wasn’t me, but that’s how he viewed me.
27:04: So he already kind of had this like slanted view of who he thought I was, and I was like, I just felt like I was really emotionally responsible for you guys, and I just felt like I was raised differently.
27:15: And the very first thing he said was, no, you weren’t, I was there.
27:19: And the unhealed side of me lost it.
27:22: I was like, you need to get out of my house, you need to go, and he wouldn’t listen.
27:27: And so to this day I have so many regrets because my kids were there and I was yelling at him and I was like, I just need you to leave because you’re not listening to me.
27:36: And then he was calling my mom, she’s she’s psycho.
27:40: I don’t know what’s wrong with her da da da da and I’m like, I just need you to go cause you’re not.
27:44: He’s like, we’ve done everything for you.
27:46: And I was like, Get out of my house.
27:51: Like you can’t, you cannot do this.
27:53: And that was it.
27:55: I haven’t talked to either of them since.
27:59: And during, again, the 4th deployment, one of the hardest times in my life, and I, I think it’s important for you to know that.
28:09: It’s not impossible for you to let these people go because especially even if they’re elderly, again, that’s a conversation I had to have with my client.
28:17: I’m like, your grandmother is 88, she was gonna be 88 whether you were born or not.
28:22: What would she be doing if you weren’t here?
28:25: It is not your responsibility to take care of people.
28:29: You should be taking care of people because it fills you with warmth and happiness, and it comes from a place of pure joy and gratitude for everything it is that they’ve done for you.
28:40: If you feel an ounce of obligation, you’re gonna build resentment.
28:44: If you feel an ounce of guilt, you’re gonna build hatred, and that does nothing but suck the life out of you, and that energy exchange is just not equitable and it’s not fair for you.
28:56: And so the very first thing that I tell my clients when I’m telling them to create, I call them thick mommy boundaries, is you have to ask yourself, does this support the life that I’m creating?
29:06: Every decision that I make is the future version of me that already has this.
29:10: Is she acting like this?
29:11: Is she behaving like this?
29:13: Is she allowing people to say whatever they want to her?
29:15: Is she allowing people to walk all over her, to use her to abuse her, to take advantage of her time?
29:20: If the answer is no, Then the answer is no here, and that is how you become her, but you cannot become her by continuing to allow people to say whatever it is that they want for you, to, to continue to traumatize you over and over and over, even when you have told them straight to their face, you guys are messing with me, and they’re just like, I don’t care, because people are showing you who they are.
29:43: You just have to believe them.
29:45: Yeah.
29:46: I feel like I want to share like a little softer story or like a little like not just like a little in between because I think this that can show up for someone that’s like, well, I don’t have these people that are like straight in my face doing these things.
29:56: When I was going through this myself and learning how to choose myself, I distanced myself from the relationships and I was like, I ask myself every single time.
30:02: Am I doing this because I want to do this, or am I like because I generally want to give them love, or am I doing this because I feel like I have to, and just asking myself those two questions, like there was like a natural shift that also happened in my relationships so I’m like, wait, this feels so much more complete and so much more.
30:19: , being met in a relationship because every time I give you love or every time I do something that I want to do for you, it’s because I genuinely want to, and I’m not expecting you from you.
30:28: I’m just doing it because I want to, not because I have to, but there was this like very interesting internal conversations for myself where I was like, I didn’t even know what that line was.
30:37: I didn’t know, like it was kind of gray at the beginning, every decision that I had to choose, like, is this because I really want to do this or is it because I have to, I feel like someone’s expecting something of me, which could also meet us in like a little bit of an in between and I’m not take away from like your story because like, it’s beautiful that you have that story with your brother and you’re able to stand in that.
30:58: I heard when you were saying that too, like you were trying to show him how you felt and he didn’t know how to hear you.
31:04: What I think a lot of people run into in relationship, you’re like, I’m telling you this is how I feel.
31:09: And they’re like, well, I didn’t see it that way.
31:11: I’d be like, you don’t fucking get it.
31:13: That doesn’t really matter how you see it, yeah, and that’s like a reminder for everyone, I think in general is like, it really doesn’t matter how you see it.
31:23: It just matters how they feel, feel it and see it and how to do that, but now I’ll be glad that skill set.
31:28: Yeah, it, it’s really difficult to, you know, emotional intelligence is it’s something that everybody is blessed.
31:33: I was just gonna say I think that’s actually like one of the biggest issues in the Western world.
31:40: And that’s all I can speak to because I don’t, I’m not in the other two parts of the world, but I can speak for the western world.
31:45: It’s like there is such a huge lack of emotional intelligence and just even knowing how to regulate your emotions or understand your emotions or like.
31:53: like, be able to say, well, I didn’t see it that way, but I completely hear you and I, and I’m sorry that that happened to you or that you that you felt that way, you know, instead of being like, oh no, it’s like sorry, yeah, how I see it, so that’s not how it is.
32:06: That’s not how it is exactly.
32:07: It’s just it almost feels childish.
32:09: Like when I think about it, I feel it in my body like this feels like middle school to younger childish kind of that all I saw was like, no, that color is.
32:17: I swear it’s red.
32:19: That’s what I that’s what I think when I see all the media arguing.
32:21: I’m like it’s like a bunch of toddlers like that’s not what you said, you know, but I think if you’re we’re dealing in a society, especially particularly in this country, we’re dealing with a lot of adults and older adults that never regulated their nervous system.
32:37: So they essentially are acting like children because they don’t know how to.
32:41: There’s no.
32:42: There’s no emotional difference between my 4 year old and my 71 year old mother because they’re both throwing tantrums when they’re not getting their way, except the 71 year old refuses to see why she’s not getting her way, whereas my 4 year old is just like, I’m new here, so like tell me what to do.
32:59: And that’s, that’s the frustrating part because I’m like, shouldn’t you know by now?
33:04: And there’s only so much to a fault that I can hold them because they didn’t understand these things.
33:08: But when somebody comes to you and says, this is how you’re hurting me, and you say things like, I’m sorry you feel that way, that’s when it becomes on them.
33:18: That’s when it becomes, and that’s One becomes your responsibility to be like, OK, this person is not making an attempt.
33:23: I need to protect myself.
33:25: We also have to normalize slowing down our decision making so that we can take a step back.
33:31: Somebody else’s, you know, pressed for time, that is not my emergency.
33:36: You asked me to do something and you want my answer, but I’m sitting over here like.
33:40: You know, contemplating, does this support what I want?
33:43: Having this moment with myself and normalize taking that time and being like, or even if you’re a generator or manifesting generator, and you’re supposed to use your, your kind of sacral energy, you still don’t got to give them an answer.
33:55: Let them sweat.
33:56: They shouldn’t have come to you at the last possible second asking you for things, but getting your body used to saying this is a full body response for me.
34:05: This is safe.
34:07: This is normal.
34:07: Saying no is normal, saying no is safe.
34:11: Saying no is protecting myself, and this is how I move forward in the future.
34:15: And having that and taking that time, that’s really how you choose yourself.
34:19: When I was learning that myself, what people would come up to me and be like, hey, I need this done right now, or like, can you please do this right now?
34:26: Or like literally right now I be like, I get so mad.
34:28: I feel like I don’t have to do it because you said so.
34:31: Yeah, I’m not going to.
34:32: Can you ask me like, hey, when can, what we work on this, or when can we do this, you know, like, make me a part of the conversation, not just assume that I’m gonna do it when you want me to do it, yeah, because you need it done right now and you didn’t think about, yeah, giving me a heads up earlier because I have all these other things going on in my life, and that’s the importance of knowing the self, and that’s the importance of other people really knowing you at the level you want to be known at.
34:59: That’s why, even more so for me and my husband, understanding our children’s human design is important because, again, my mental projector, her environment is so important to her, and so I kind of treat her like a reflector.
35:10: So she’s deciding whether or not she wants to do a duo for dance competition next year.
35:14: She doesn’t have to make that decision until August.
35:16: We’re talking about it now.
35:17: Yeah, I’m giving her so much time to feel it out, to understand the partner that she’s potentially supposed to be, you know, partnered with.
35:24: She’s understanding her better.
35:26: She’s trying to see if this is something that she wants.
35:28: I’m giving her that time.
35:30: But my sacral Manny, she said, I don’t want to be a hip hop anymore.
35:34: I snatched her right out, yeah, because that was a full body thing for her.
35:37: Now I did tell her she had to tell her teacher.
35:39: I was like, you don’t just quit.
35:40: You gotta go tell her that you because you still have to take responsibility.
35:44: But then I have an emotional Manny Jen as well, and he just, ooh, a little wave of emotions he goes through.
35:50: So when my husband, when I send him something, I’m like, you take your time.
35:54: Yeah, you let me know.
35:56: When you come to your neutral, I love this because I had to learn that with my husband.
36:00: He, we’re both manifesting generators, but I’m sacral.
36:03: And learning no was so powerful for me because I say yes to so much and I want to say yes to a lot, but I used to say yes to a lot of things I didn’t want to do.
36:11: And now I’m like, it’s when it’s a no, it’s like an instant no or if it’s a maybe it’s a no.
36:15: And for him, he’s such an emotional decision maker and he’d be like, we’re done with this.
36:18: I’m done with this.
36:19: And I was like, OK.
36:21: Well, let’s just take a minute here.
36:22: Let’s like breathe, let’s feel this out.
36:24: So I love that you’re doing that with your kids.
36:26: That’s so powerful.
36:27: Yeah, cause I mean, you understanding as a parent that inherently you’re gonna screw your child up somehow, right?
36:33: They’re not going to escape childhood unscathed.
36:35: But if I can lean into them fully and help them understand that this is how they step into themselves now, perhaps I can save them some of the deconditioning process later.
36:46: Like, again, my 4 year old, she, there’s a new obsession every day that we must bring to daycare.
36:51: It’s this Manny Jen thing of, here’s today’s obsession, I’m gonna bring that.
36:55: And so I’m like, I choose to ask her yes or no questions because those are gonna help her go faster.
37:01: And, and it’s funny, I’ll bring both of them to Claire’s, the, the oldest and the youngest, the 4 year old, she will put everything in her basket and be done shopping in 2 minutes, my mental projector.
37:13: I like this, I think I’ll come back to it.
37:15: And we’re in there like 45 minutes and it’s beautiful to watch them work, and it also gives me a sense of, OK, wow, I’m not screwing momming up today.
37:25: This is a really good moment.
37:26: Yeah, and I’m not feeling like my oldest daughter is feeling whatever pressure she needs or feels like she has to have in order to do the thing and.
37:37: If, if we’re not taking what we’re learning and pouring it into these humans we bought here, what are we doing?
37:43: I also think they’re the mirror for us.
37:45: Well, I don’t have kids yet, but I see it in my friends and family and don’t know in astrology is like they’re also here to be that mirror for us to heal the stuff we couldn’t heal until.
37:54: They came to show us, you know, so it’s like, I think the beauty is you’re, you’re honoring their individual souls, but also they’re gonna get to say, oh look at like mom really worked and was conscious and like she healed herself too, you know, cause like we’re all healing.
38:10: Yeah, and it’s not something that I can say.
38:12: About my own mother and it’s frustrating and I think that’s a lot of.
38:17: It’s so most of our moms come in from a particular age group that like to sweep things under the rug, but it’s not every month.
38:24: You’re right, it’s not.
38:25: And I also think it’s like we’re up against generations, right?
38:28: Like I feel like our generation, our timeline, there’s something about awakening.
38:31: My mom did start to find her awakening and consciousness and she start to grow because she needed it.
38:36: But there’s still like we’re still in a transitional period, you know, like I’m just so curious what your kids are gonna say when they’re like talking to you, you know, and you’re like, Mom, this is how I feel and you say, honey, I get it.
38:48: You know, that just lands.
38:49: The other thing that you were talking about so beautifully is like human design is giving you this like resource to be able to kind of give yourself permission to be like, oh, I see my kids differently.
38:59: And I also cannot wait for a world part of like this podcast and being fully expressed is about like not you projecting your stuff on how things should be, but versus allowing that person to blossom in the way that they are.
39:12: And in the gram was that for me, when I started learning all these things, I was like, wow, all these people are so And I can honor that and I can celebrate that and I’m like, wait, I can’t wait till a world where we’re living and everyone’s like, I know.
39:26: I love you like you’re just doing you and I’m not even judging you.
39:29: Like there’s no like internal projections and I’m hoping that we can get there, but who knows if the psyche can evolve that quickly.
39:34: I wish, I hope it can as projectors, I think we get frustrated that humanity isn’t evolving at the pace that we would want it to get to.
39:43: It doesn’t, I’m a September Virgo too, so I’m also always like.
39:47: Why aren’t you doing that?
39:52: But I do struggle with this.
39:53: We talk about moon moon.
39:56: So I think about this too because it bugs me so much.
39:59: Like I’m like I’m in my little bubble and then I got in the real world and I’m like.
40:04: Am I the alien or like are you like, am I, am I the weirdo or like did I miss something like we’re the aliens for sure.
40:11: And even when I started this work, we’re like this one it’s messed up.
40:13: Let’s come down here and try to hold some frequency of love.
40:17: I got a lot of things to say to my soul when we’re done here.
40:20: I love all the memes where it’s like you chose to come here and you’re like, Did I vote?
40:24: Did I?
40:25: I get frustrated when I think about that.
40:27: I did, I did another podcast earlier this week and she was like, Do you believe that That you know, you intentionally signed up to have these parents and this experience, and I was like, it’s not that I don’t believe it.
40:38: I’m having a hard time accepting it because I’m like, my soul would sign a contract to have these particular parents for whatever reason I have to learn.
40:47: My soul would sign a contract to come to be on this planet right when this shift, like the human design shift is supposed to happen in 2027.
40:54: I’m like, I would be here right at the beginning.
40:56: I would say this is what I want right now, and I’m like, I, I’m just still accepting it because I’m like, apparently I was a happy little blip somewhere else in the universe and I was like, you know what we need right now for the next, you know, couple 1000 years?
41:11: A little torture, a couple of lessons, and I’m like, I don’t get it, but that’s the point of it, right?
41:20: Yes, to be like this is what we’re here to do, this is what we’re here to learn, and the more that I lean into my projection is, the more that I lean into my own fire, the more that I lean into who I am.
41:29: Every day I become so much more fulfilled and so much happier that I get to be me because I look at other people and I’m like, they are not like me.
41:37: They do not see things the way that I see them.
41:39: They don’t understand, they don’t absorb energy the way that I do.
41:42: I am so incredibly powerful.
41:44: I am so.
41:45: There is nothing I can do, and it feels so good and it doesn’t feel ostracizing.
41:51: It doesn’t feel like, oh, she’s this weirdo, she’s this outcast.
41:54: It’s like, look at all of this power that she has simply because she decided it was hers and all of these different You know, astrology, human design, all of these maps that we’re given, they’re so validating for us, and they’re here to lead, you know, lead the way for us to feel as powerful and that’s just what I want for every other woman that I help to them be like, damn, I’m a bad bitch.
42:19: Like, who nobody can mess with me and I get to help people in that way.
42:25: And when that lands in your body, like that’s something to fight for, you know what I mean?
42:29: I think that’s like.
42:30: Like if you’re hearing like just talk, you’re like, I fucking want that.
42:34: That’s possible, you know, like if you’ve meant that, but then also once it lands you’re like, I fought for it and I’m not giving it up.
42:40: Like this is my, this is mine.
42:42: Yeah, this is how it gets to be.
42:45: Show me how good.
42:46: I can get from here.
42:48: It’s only up from here.
42:50: And so many people come into my DMs that are pretty established and they’re like, how do you just say the thing that you say?
42:58: How do you do the thing it is that you do?
43:00: And they’re looking at me with wonder, and I’m like, You just do, you just do, OK, I will do, but also it’s like this isn’t something that’s unique to me.
43:11: Everybody can have this, but you have to trust yourself enough, you have to know yourself enough, you have to own who you are enough, and you have to be brave enough to say.
43:22: I’m gonna make my money being weird.
43:25: I’m gonna say the thing that needs to be said.
43:28: That unpopular opinion you’re hoarding, probably not as unpopular, but that thing you’re really thinking, that’s what’s gonna propel you forward.
43:36: And that’s why I switched to helping women, like, there’s two different ways that I help women.
43:41: It’s like, one, get established in the confidence for their business, and then two, it’s this woman who has This beautiful 67 figure business, people love her, but she knows that there’s more, and now she’s ready to take her impact to the world, right?
43:55: She’s ready to be Oprah.
43:57: She’s ready to just counsel the millions that she’s here to counsel, right?
44:04: Cause it feels so good and it’s like, but she knows that her next level up.
44:09: Has to be completely different.
44:10: She knows that she has to go inward to be that person for people to see.
44:14: She has to be a different type of leader than she’s been so far, but she knows that that’s what she’s ready for and that’s where she’s going.
44:22: I love that.
44:24: so good, so good.
44:26: Oh, I thought I was doing this.
44:32: I love it.
44:34: so there’s one I wanted to ask like a little bit about money, but like, is there anything you want to share about wealth?
44:40: Before I transition it to more of you, and wealth wealth for me is the way that I’m dressed today is my idea of wealth.
44:48: It’s Who I am invites me into spaces to be fully myself.
44:53: And I did another podcast and she was like, you embody this new age idea of wealth identity.
45:00: And it’s like, it doesn’t feel the same.
45:02: It doesn’t look the same.
45:04: It’s in the same respect we talk about everything.
45:06: It’s what feels good for you.
45:08: Wealth is getting everything it is that you want, having the freedom to buy, to do whatever it is that you want.
45:17: Wealth to me looks like we flew.
45:19: We flew Comfort Plus to our vacation in January and I said, oh, I could lean back and my seat came up.
45:27: I said, OK, this is cool.
45:30: I want more of this and it’s like exploring wealth for me is being able to buy sneakers that my mom refused to pay for when I was younger and being like, every time I sign a mastermind client, I buy myself a pair of sneakers because that makes me feel good and It pulls me out of scarcity that, oh well, I only signed one client this month, it’s never gonna show up again.
45:55: It’s no, thank you for trusting me.
45:58: I’m trusting myself.
45:59: I’m pushing my money back out so that it can come to me.
46:02: Wealth isn’t just hoarding, it’s constantly revolving.
46:05: It’s recognizing that money flows easily to you as you flow it back out, and that there’s unlimited amounts of it, literally.
46:15: Nothing is off limits to you.
46:17: I love that.
46:18: We had another Money, like energetic money expert on it, and she said the same thing that like pay yourself first.
46:24: And that it’s like 50% out, 50% in and not hoarding and I love that.
46:29: It’s like so in online, so good.
46:32: so with all of our guests, we love to ask the very common question as like in your life today, where do you feel called to be more fully expressed?
46:39: Is it in your life, relationships or business anywhere?
46:44: I think for me it’s funny because this isn’t a topic that comes up so often for me in particular.
46:51: We talk about it randomly with my clients, but I think for me the only place that I’m not fully, fully expressed is in my own sexual prowess with my husband.
47:02: I had a lot of traumas there from when I was in the military and a piece of that felt like it was unsafe to be that person anymore, but Everything, all of my human design, my numerology, my gene keys are written on my wall where I can see it every day, and all of those are over the quarterly personal and life goals that I create for myself.
47:24: And what my personal life goal for this quarter is I just want to be myself.
47:31: And the only place that I don’t really do that yet.
47:36: It’s in sheets.
47:38: So that’s and that’s probably the weirdest place that that question could have gone, but it’s it’s the only place that I feel that way because you see my social media, I really don’t give a fuck.
47:49: I’m all over the place, and that is how I prefer it because that is what I show people and that that’s how they see what’s available to me.
47:56: I think I’m a lot more unhinged than a lot of business owners that I see or know.
48:02: But I think it’s important to recognize that there’s always work to do.
48:07: There’s always somewhere you could be more of yourself, and it’s something that I’m being so open about doing for myself because I know that if I allow more of that there, then I’m gonna feel, you know, more alive and open in all these other places too, and that’s gonna invite more money.
48:24: That’s gonna invite more women who want to learn from me.
48:26: That’s gonna invite all of these things, all of it is connected.
48:30: You cannot compartmentalize.
48:32: your fullest expression.
48:33: It’s all together.
48:35: I love that you shared that answer because I just feel like not so many women are going to say that out loud, you know what I mean?
48:40: And this is an area that I also had to work on with myself because that in that room, like, it’s such an intimate vulnerable, the most intimate, most vulnerable, and there’s so much around that topic where either you have past traumas or no one talked to you about it, whatever that was and I do think that when you tap into that, like your point, it’s just more water manifest more magic is gonna come out and I think as a fully expressed woman is like, yes, work on the life, the relationships of business and then all these other areas where you feel called and I think when you feel that in here and you’re like, OK, now it’s now it’s time for me to focus on this part.
49:17: That’s OK, and you get to fully express that too.
49:19: That’s the deepest part, I think.
49:21: So it is, you can, it’s so much easier to find, I think, fullest expression outwardly, and then it’s like you start like peeling back the layers and that’s like the ultimate, especially like if you’re really close with your partner, like that’s, that’s the person that there’s no masks, you know, like they see you the most.
49:37: So, or Maybe there are masks, but you don’t want to be, you know, you know, she wants to be a unicorn I don’t know as long as everybody’s OK with it, right?
49:55: But it’s like, and I think too because I was telling my husband this yesterday because he’s a manifester, I’m like, I can’t read you the way I read other people.
50:02: It’s really hard.
50:04: you know, like, I just don’t know you, and I was like, and there’s very few people for me as a projector that I want to be seen by that that is not the exchange of money, right?
50:14: You pay me for my aura now because it is powerful and it changes your life.
50:20: And I’m like, but you’re one of the very few people that I want to feel seen by, like, and so it’s like, that’s really important, like that’s really heavy hitting, But it impacts, it impacts everything.
50:33: It impacts so much.
50:34: I like clockwork.
50:36: We’ll get my Brazilian every 4 weeks and I’m gonna sit there wide on the table and we’re gonna have a conversation and I still don’t feel vulnerable or exposed the way that I do in, you know, your, your sexual relationships and it’s like that is the ultimate.
50:51: Freedom that is the ultimate release to be that person with your partner, and when you can feel that, everything else unfolds.
51:00: And so it’s like if you’re looking at me like, wow, she’s completely out there and I haven’t even conquered this one major aspect just wait just wait and just see what’s available for you.
51:12: Right.
51:17: Oh my God, right?
51:18: I call my clients undeniable, inevitable, inevitable is a good one.
51:23: Yeah, so it’s, it’s all of those things you know that it’s coming.
51:28: It’s already gonna happen.
51:30: It’s just about a matter of when I choose to take that power and fully harness it.
51:34: , thank you so much.
51:37: I feel like this conversation has been absolutely magnificent, magical, inevitable.
51:45: Literally like thank you for bringing your energy because especially in these spaces, it’s just so important, but you’re also just owning you and you, we have this conversation with the different guests and stuff, you can feel someone’s authenticity and then when they bring it, I’m like, this just blows.
52:00: So much nicely.
52:01: So thank you for being here.
52:03: Thank you for having me and thank you for having this space where you encourage so many people to continue to be themselves because we’re stepping into this new age of the focus on the self and not necessarily on the collective, and we change the collective by focusing on ourselves.
52:19: And the fastest way that we do that is reaching into every part of our self and being her.
52:25: Of course she had to drop a mic drop moment.
52:28: I do.
52:30: , where can people find you?
52:33: Yes, so you can find me on Instagram at A Frank Life coach.
52:37: Threads is where I’m the absolute worst.
52:40: So go there first, because I do not stop on threads.
52:45: If you’re like, I’m just trying to do a vibe check.
52:48: I’m also on LinkedIn, completely unhinged on that platform as well, because LinkedIn is boring and I am not, so it’s so boring and I am not and it’s so much fun.
52:58: , and then I have the two programs you can work with me in, which is Audacity and the Ruthless Pursuit of Self-mastermind, which can both be found at the FCcoach.com.
53:08: Amazing, beautiful.
53:09: Thank you, thank you.
53:11: Thank you so much for tuning in.
53:13: We really appreciate you being here.
53:15: If you enjoyed this episode, we’d be grateful if you could leave us a review and share it with a friend.
53:20: Also, we would love to hear from you.
53:22: Reach out to us on Instagram and let us know where you feel inspired to express yourself as you embrace this next era.
53:29: We are here to support you and encourage you.
53:32: See you on the next one.
We explore:
- What’s really going on internally when you feel responsible for everyone in your family
- The subconscious stories playing out for eldest and only daughters
- The pattern between eldest daughters and narcissistic family dynamics
- Feeling emotionally responsible for your mom or dad’s behavior
- How these patterns show up in your business—like clients expecting you to coddle them or not honoring your fees
- How to set boundaries and break free from toxic family roles
- The pressure of carrying your family’s “legacy” and how to release it
- How to step into your full power and become THE ONE for yourself
- Using Human Design to strengthen relationships—including with your kids
Links & Resources:
AUDACITY membership: https://thefccoach.com/page/audacity
Ruthless Pursuit of Self Mastermind:https://thefccoach.com/page/ruthless-pursuit-of-self
Connect with Alexis:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/afranklifecoach/
Threads: https://www.threads.net/@afranklifecoach
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thefccoach/
About Alexis:
Meet Alexis Frank.
THE life coach for eldest daughters & THE creator of life & business coaching for eldest daughter entrepreneurs niche.
She has 3 beautiful brown children.
She cut off family and friends who held her back.
She’s a biracial woman happily married to a black man.
She’s mouthy and unable to be silenced.
She has 4 formal degrees and a life time of trial and error as her education.
She ran for public office in a state that hated her party, and yet somehow loved her.
She’s a hip hop dancer.
She’s an avid thriller and smut reader.
She’s literally one of the funniest people she knows.
She’s a projector.
She’s a September Virgo.
Her life’s work is to take full responsibility for the effect her aura has on others.
She’s here to counsel millions of people on relationship development.
She’s commanded stages in rooms people thought she didn’t belong in.
She’s swayed the minds and hearts of those who never wanted to change.
She’s a living breathing middle finger to the patriarchy so carefully crafted by white men.
Everything she needs to know and everything she needs to have is already within her.
She’s undeniable.
Her impact is inevitable.
She is a liberator & a new age activist.
There is nothing she cannot do.
This episode is a must-listen if you’re ready to shed the weight of old roles and fully claim your voice, power, and purpose.
This episode is a must-listen if you’re ready to shed the weight of old roles and fully claim your voice, power, and purpose.
Join The Fully Expressed Community, where you can be surrounded by other women who are also on the same path of personal growth, healing, and uncovering their authentic expression. Being in a community surrounded by others can truly be one of the most supporting and healing containers to support your personal invitation.
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Contact Karenna: hello@karennasoto.com
