In this week’s episode, Karenna and Samantha dive into what it really means to Winter Well. Whether you’re in corporate or running your own business, you’ve probably felt the notorious end-of-year push — that Q4 pressure the modern world glorifies. The matrix narrative says this is the moment to sprint, grind, and “finish strong,” but nature tells a different story.
Winter has always been a season of slowing down. Historically and energetically, it’s a time of reflection, restoration, and inner listening. Yet our current culture encourages us to override our bodies and squeeze out every last drop of productivity. No wonder so many people enter January exhausted instead of renewed.
But what if this season was never designed for the push?
When we live in alignment with the seasons and honor the cues our bodies give us, winter becomes a portal: to deeper vitality, clearer intuition, and sustainable energy that actually carries us into spring feeling resourced instead of depleted.
0:02: Welcome to the Fully Expressed podcast.
0:04: We’re your hosts, Karenna and Samantha.
0:06: This show is your permission slip to stop holding back.
0:10: Here, we talk about what it really means to live unapologetically you in your relationships, your business, and your everyday life.
0:17: We believe the most magnetic version of you is rooted in self-expression, honesty, vulnerability, and showing up fully as you are.
0:24: When you own that, you naturally attract the people, the opportunities, and the life that is meant for you.
0:30: Hey guys, on today’s episode, we are talking how to winter well, what it means to actually create a regulated nervous system during one of the seasons of the year where we’re feeling like we want to go inward and we want to rest and reflect, because so many of you are still thinking about your Q4 goals, and you want to end the year strong, and so not only do we give you the tips and tricks on how to make that happen, but also like a really honest invitation to really learn how to slow down.
1:01: We know, we know that this is a hard topic for some of you that might be listening, or it’s something that you welcome.
1:09: Either way, you’re going to walk away with capacity givers, capacity red flags, really new insight on how to winter well this season.
1:17: Enjoy.
1:18: Hi guys.
1:19: Welcome back to today’s episode where we’re going to talk all about wintering well.
1:25: We have done episodes before on the winter season.
1:29: We have an amazing episode with Nick Bolletto that talked about the practical and physical ways we can help our bodies be supported in the winter, but Karenna and I wanted to talk about what it looks like when you’re in a season in your business of pushing.
1:44: Because winter typically in the natural world is really a time about going inward, resting more, sleeping more, self-reflecting.
1:53: It’s really a time of inner transformation, but so many of us who are high achievers and business owners, unfortunately can’t just like turn off social media, stop everything for three months while winter happens, and then like turn it back on.
2:07: A lot of times, this is Q4 is a huge season of pushing for people, and we thought it might be.
2:13: Helpful to really talk about how you can, what are the signs that you’re pushing from the wrong way and how you can create spaciousness and, you know, regulate your nervous system even if you can’t shut everything down.
2:25: I love this conversation so much because like immediately what comes up for me is like Before I had this idea of like, oh, seasons are meant to be seasonal, like I’m supposed to slow down in the winter or in the summer I have more energy before I even had that awareness, I felt like I had to push all the time.
2:43: Like there was never a season to not push, like before I even learned about the women’s cycles, I thought I was pushing all the time.
2:48: And so you might be listening to this and being like, what do you mean?
2:51: I, every day is a sprint, every day is supposed to be a marathon.
2:55: I’m supposed to show up, there’s no way to drop the ball.
2:57: Like, I can’t not do that.
2:59: What do you mean the kids are going to be home for the holidays, and I got to execute on Q4, like, the end of the year is coming up strong.
3:04: I got to end it really hard.
3:06: And so I love that we’re talking about this because it’s very easy to be like, no, I’m, I’m meant to show up the same exact way that I show up all year long.
3:16: In Q4, yeah, yeah, and I think too, it’s so easy to not even recognize that you’re pushing beyond burnout and capacity, which is something Krina speaks about so well, but what are some of the symptoms that you see or saw in yourself or see in others that like maybe you don’t even realize you’re pushing past capacity.
3:38: I think the biggest thing for like high achievers or someone that lives really nicely and like fight or flight, because a lot of the times we are in fight or flight as high achievers.
3:47: And if you’re a business owner, you’re constantly like, I got to get a lot of things done, you’re not really present in the moment.
3:52: that phase, to me is just like, don’t even worry about that, because there’s no point when you’re in that, like, you’re just so hyperfocused that like, you are just going to continue pushing.
4:03: The signs to pay attention to are outside of your world.
4:07: So, How are you doing in your relationship?
4:10: Are you snapping with your partner?
4:12: Are you a little bit more edgy with your kids?
4:14: Like, are they like playing and all of a sudden like you want to lose it because they’re like throwing too many toys and they’re being too loud and you don’t have the capacity to like really be with that.
4:23: That’s a sign.
4:25: another red flag to look for is like, the, the moment that you do get a breath to slow down, you’re finding other things to do.
4:33: So you are in this place of like, wow, I have an hour where I don’t have to do anything.
4:38: You’re making yourself do work when you really don’t need to be doing work, or you’re like, oh, this is a perfect time for me to squeeze something else in, instead of doing that time because you’re really just afraid to be bored, because being bored, your nervous system doesn’t know how to relax.
4:50: And so your nervous system’s like, I don’t know what to do here.
4:52: I need to keep running because if I keep running and if I keep moving, that’s really great.
4:56: , I think it’s important to note too, like going on your phone and scrolling on social media is not a nervous system relaxation, numbing out that is associating.
5:07: So that’s another sign.
5:08: Doom scrolling is another league sign.
5:11: these are like, so there’s signs to pay attention to before you burn out, and then there’s signs to pay attention to like you are very burnt out.
5:17: So like the like yellow, Like I think about this is like the yellow area, like you’re about to burn out, but you’re not about to burn out.
5:25: This is when you’re like much more short tempered.
5:26: You don’t have the capacity to hold conversations.
5:29: You are avoiding harder conversations.
5:31: You know you need to make a decision in your business, but like you don’t know what to do because you’re so indecisive about it.
5:36: , the other one is that you just can’t calm down.
5:41: Like space feels really too much.
5:44: but then the ones that you’re like, I’m already burnt out, because I think a lot of people get to this place of like, oh, I didn’t realize that I was burnt out.
5:50: What do you mean that I’m burnt out?
5:51: I’m so overwhelmed.
5:52: You’re absolutely exhausted.
5:53: Your, your energy’s crashing by like 3 or 4 o’clock every single day.
5:57: You have really good energy and then you have no good energy.
6:00: you want to run away.
6:01: That’s the other thing that a lot of people run into is like, I don’t want to be around anyone.
6:05: I want to get on a plane and I want a flight and leave.
6:09: that’s a really big one.
6:10: It’s kind of like get the fuck out energy like you’ve gone to the place where like, I’m done.
6:14: I don’t want to be a part of this world.
6:16: You really want to self-isolate.
6:18: And then the other thing to pay attention to as a burnout warning sign is the things that you love become a burden.
6:24: So, let’s say like you’re someone that loves to go to Pilates, but all of a sudden like Pilates is like another hour and you’re like, I don’t want to go all the way to Pilates because I have to sit in traffic to go to my favorite instructor and it no longer feels like something that I want to do.
6:40: But you know deep down that you love going to Pilates or hanging out with girlfriends.
6:46: You’re like, oh, I have to.
6:48: Sam really wants to hang out tonight and like it’s just I don’t want to do that anymore.
6:53: I don’t want to do that today.
6:54: It’s just like I’m done.
6:56: Like that is a burnout warning sign.
6:57: And so your body’s giving you symptoms also to pay attention to headaches, body aches, exhaustion.
7:06: , headaches are a big one because a lot of people are really mindy when they are, exuding a lot of energy or high achievers are working really hard.
7:14: If you’re popping Advil and medicine all day long, more than like normal, that is something to pay attention to.
7:21: I think for me when I was burnt out without realizing it because I have a really high capacity to hold a lot of energy, I would.
7:28: Definitely be very chicken with the head cut off, but then I would, you know, my husband would be like, oh, you need to meditate or you need to just like take a deep breath, and I would go and I’d do a breath work, like a five-minute breath work or I’d meditate and I would pass out.
7:41: I immediately fall.
7:42: I’d be like snoring in the meditation.
7:45: Yeah, that’s a great sign because you’re exhausted.
7:47: And so that’s what we don’t realize is our energy is just wired to keep going really, really quickly, and we like that energy.
7:53: That’s the other thing, our ego and our subconscious is kind of addicted to that pain.
7:57: And so in that addiction, you’re like, Wait, I love running.
8:00: I’m going to keep running.
8:01: I don’t want to stop running.
8:03: But then the minute that you can like counteract that, your body’s like holy shit, I’m exhausted and because of the burnout.
8:10: So what are some of the things like I could speak for myself, but what are some of the things you personally experienced or shifts that you made like, you know, we’ve spoken about what the symptoms are, but what are the shifts you can make when you can’t stop pushing because that’s where I think like I like in the beginning, not everyone can just shut down the business or stop, but I think there is a way.
8:31: To create more spaciousness.
8:32: So like for me personally, my goal for the month of October was in the moments where I had a little time of space.
8:39: It was either walk without my phone, like go for a long walk, or allow myself to be bored.
8:44: Like there are moments this month where I’ve laid on the couch for 20 minutes and I’ve done nothing.
8:49: Like I’ve just pet Mowgli, my dog, and I’ve sat there and I’m just like, oh, I’m bored.
8:53: Like this feels weird, but I just forced myself to sit in it.
8:57: So what are, and it helps.
8:58: I mean it has really helped me to feel when my nervous system is dysregulated and not.
9:02: So what are some of the things you suggest?
9:04: , see, there’s different parts of this conversation.
9:08: If I’m burnt out, I will cancel everything on the calendar and do what my body needs for how long?
9:16: The whole day, like a day, a whole day.
9:18: Like if I, and I was telling this to the girls in like Minded OC, I’ve definitely gone behind the mindset of like, if I give myself a day, I’ll get another day.
9:26: , when you’re running really hard and you have something to execute on or a project that you need to run on, it’s so easy to be like, well, I just got to get this one project done.
9:33: I just got to get this project done, and we’re pushing ourselves throughout the day, but we don’t realize if we give ourselves a day, we’re gonna have two more days.
9:40: so that’s one thing, but the first thing is like I think about like if you are in this season of like, you know that you want to push really hard towards the end of the year and Winter is also a year we don’t have as much energy or sunlight.
9:53: You’ve got to double down on your capacity givers.
9:55: Like the first thing that goes away when people are stressed are the things that give you capacity.
9:59: So walks, drinking water, eating food, hanging out with friends, getting a good night’s sleep, putting your head Going to the ocean is one of the big ones that you always talk about, that I talk about all the time for us.
10:14: Like if you know the season is hard, then you make sure to double down on your capacity givers because there’s just no way to fight a hard season other than compliment the hard season, if that makes sense.
10:25: That’s what I would do to prepare.
10:28: That’s what I would do, be like, make sure you have the massages scheduled.
10:32: Make sure you’re not missing a Pilates class.
10:33: Like you do everything to pour into you so that you can show up more for a hard season.
10:38: Yeah, I highly recommend listening to episode 59, which was our winter health episode, because Corinne and I have implemented a lot of those things that Nick suggested, which is like wearing red and blue light blockers, not red light.
10:50: Blockers, but red light glasses, blue light blockers at night, really sleeping and waking with the sun, which both of us have done.
10:57: And even last night I stayed up late with girlfriends, like had a great time, but I went, I didn’t go to bed till 11, and I was sharing that like today I definitely don’t feel my best because I’ve regulated my sleep so well that when I stay up late, it’s like, it feels like I drank and I did it.
11:13: It does.
11:13: It feels like I got drunk last night and I woke up and I have a headache and I’m like, whoa, this is crazy.
11:19: So, it, these tips do work when you do the physical changes, but I think like what you’re speaking to too, like creating space, like the mental changes as well are so important.
11:29: And I think what’s interesting, like I’m trying to put myself in like a high achiever like that wants to like really come through in Q4.
11:36: Like you can even use your workouts or the things that have been really good for you as something to check off the boxes.
11:41: Like that’s not the point here.
11:43: Yeah, I mean, you know people that do that, the people that do that, they’re like, OK, so I’m gonna push really hard and I’m gonna even push harder to make sure that I get all my self-care stuff.
11:51: I’m gonna double, double stack and have it stack.
11:53: So like while I’m with my kids, I’m squatting at the same time.
11:56: Like that’s not what I’m talking about here.
11:59: Like this is so much more about like.
12:02: Learning how to give yourself what your body needs, going for the walk, slowing down, setting yourself up for success.
12:09: And I think there is this concept in really high achieving women when they want to bend time, and they bend time by double stacking on top of the stress to continue doing more things.
12:21: I’m like, your body’s not resting.
12:23: Everything you’re doing a task, even like listening to books, reading books, all of it is a task.
12:27: You’re just checking things off.
12:28: And so if you’re in that state of a nervous system regulation, like my first thing is like, just pick one thing to like take a breath.
12:37: Like learn how to take a breath for a minute.
12:39: That’s why I say walk without your phone or that’s a huge, that’s at least a good 20 minutes of just total disconnection.
12:46: Even if you’re in your mind, you’re still not utilizing, like you’re not leaving voice notes or you’re not checking your emails or you’re not doing anything.
12:53: Yeah, I think if you’re in that state, like you really need to like learn how to be off for a minute.
12:58: I think the challenge that you gave yourself to like put a timer on for 20 minutes and be like, can I be bored for 20 minutes?
13:03: It’s I mean challenging.
13:04: It is.
13:05: Well, the other day when we like came back from London and we took like a month off, I told Nick I started cleaning the whole house because I was like, I’m fucking bored.
13:11: I don’t have anything to do.
13:12: Nick’s like, you’re gonna build another business in your boredom because he’s like, you needed something else to do.
13:17: I was like, we didn’t have anything to do and I was like.
13:19: I was like, OK, fine, I’ll get to the things in the house that I haven’t gotten to yet.
13:23: But then I made myself bored.
13:25: Like I laid on the bed, did the same thing with Cuschini, and I was like, you know what, I’m just going to enjoy the sun here for a second.
13:31: Like, I don’t need to be anywhere.
13:32: I don’t have to do anything.
13:34: So it depends on the state of your nervous system, but I think in the winter you really, really got to like Really pour into yourself more than ever, because it will catch up to you.
13:45: I think the biggest thing that Nick leaned into us for us, like melatonin is like the sunlight in the winter.
13:51: Vitamin D.
13:52: It’s so important.
13:54: I didn’t even think about that.
13:55: What do you mean?
13:55: Like Winter, we get less sun and literally our bodies need less sun in those moments.
14:01: We’re supposed to get More melatonin, more darkness, more sleep to prepare us for the summertime.
14:09: All those sunburns that you guys got is getting healed in the winter.
14:14: but when we are staying up past dark, light or whatever, we’re just exacerbating our nervous systems even more.
14:21: And it’s so easy when you’re burning at one thick end and you want to hit Q4 goals, you’re going to hit 10 o’clock, 12 p.m. late nights and you’re still working.
14:30: I mean, something we’ve talked about on this podcast before as well is like our cycles as women, like, even within one month, we’re not supposed to be pushing, pushing, pushing every part of the month.
14:42: We’re, there are, and we have had episodes on this, like, there are seasons within the month that we can push more and have more capacity.
14:51: And I think Like, even listening to those little nuances, like for me, when I’m on the heaviest two days of my period, I really try to honor that, and I don’t plan a lot if I don’t have to.
15:01: Like, obviously sometimes I have commitments, but a lot of times I will carve out like a huge chunk of time where I just don’t even have to do anything if I don’t want to because I don’t feel my best.
15:10: I feel very low energy, and I think I think there’s also a misconception because we live in such a, a capitalistic society that’s like we, we, we associate achievement with doing and success with doing and the more we do, like that’s better and I see a movement starting to happen, especially among women that like you don’t have to do as much and you can still get a lot done.
15:37: And you can still get to that level of success that you are desiring.
15:42: What we don’t realize is that the work is always going to be there.
15:46: Like Nick’s like, What are you working on?
15:47: I was like, There’s always stuff to work on.
15:49: What are you talking about?
15:50: I’m like, What do you mean?
15:52: And men are so like simple sometimes.
15:55: I’m like, they’re like, No, there’s not more to work to do today.
15:57: I’m like, no, there’s always something to do.
15:59: I can always move the needle forward.
16:00: I can always reach out to another client.
16:02: I can always, there’s always more to do.
16:04: Yeah,, that’s funny.
16:06: I don’t know if Nick is like this, but Austin will be like, he has such a habit of like, OK, it’s 7 p.m. Like I’m done, and I’m, this is my relaxation time, and I’m just like, but I could send this email and I’ve got to edit this video and I’m gonna do this, and he just is like, I’m gonna watch a movie or I’m gonna do whatever it is that he wants to do.
16:23: That’s like his relaxation time, and I’m like, that must be nice.
16:27: I love that, he is like that, and I’ve gotten like that too, because now, Nick, our relationship is the boundary.
16:33: So, especially with like everything that we’ve been building, like I, my relationship with Nick is so important in addition to the business and it’s like, That 6 or 7 o’clock to turns around.
16:44: I’m off.
16:46: Yes, sometimes I’m creating a reel because I have to post tomorrow, but I give him like 2 hours of my time, and that’s another thing that’s helped me keep accountable in these things is like realizing what’s the real priority.
16:58: Like I agree.
17:00: I forget, like I don’t have kids, but like if I had kids, like is the 2 hours a night with my kids so the priority?
17:08: Yes, it is.
17:09: Like this makes me think about what Dakota was talking about when he was at our podcast party.
17:14: He was like, when I’m at work mode, I am obsessed and I am working.
17:18: And I’m that.
17:19: Come the weekend, I’m a child, I am playing.
17:22: I don’t even think about work.
17:24: And I think for us it’s so hard to be compartmentalized like that, but I think the more that we can get to this place of honoring the most priority in our lives, we realize that like, wow, I could set a boundary and work’s going to be there tomorrow.
17:37: The problems are still going to be there.
17:39: I can move the needle a little bit more.
17:41: And I think this opens up a whole another conversation of like, where is your self-worth tied to?
17:45: Is it tied to the successes?
17:47: That’s different.
17:48: But I think in the winter seasons, what we don’t realize more and more, in order to winter well, we’ve got to learn how to slow down, which I think is like the other thing that we were talking about is like the vision like.
18:01: Yes, we’re talking about so many things like what are the red flags?
18:04: Here’s what you can do to support yourself, but like, start to create a whole new mindset of possibility, like set a whole new vision of what’s possible.
18:12: Like, yes, there is a world like Sam and I right now are crushing these interviews because we want November and December to be present with our friends and family.
18:20: And we talked about that from the year before, like, technically our end of year is now, and, but we’re not tied to like the end of the Q4 thing or like we’re not making that because we’re prioritizing that come November, December, we are so much more present, we’re not recording episodes, editing them, like we can go do our thing and still get the move the business along, but we’re not doing the big things in the middle of a of a sprint season.
18:48: I mean, we also don’t even really acknowledge January as the new year.
18:52: We think that like spring is the new year.
18:54: So I think when you take that pressure off your plate too, and you just allow the seasons to really guide you, like there’s like, to your point of there’s always more to do.
19:04: Like if the end goal for you and your business is to get to a certain place, does it truly matter if it happens in 1 month from now or if it happens in 3 months from now?
19:13: Like, could you reframe it in the sense of like, well, if by spring, I’m where I want to be and my nervous system is feeling good and my body’s feeling good and I’m present for my family and my kids.
19:24: Is that not worth it than you pushing now to get to the same place or maybe not even get to the same place, but you’re burned out, you’re feeling like crap, like you don’t have capacity to even get maybe further.
19:36: Like maybe come spring you’re even further than you thought you’d be because you created that capacity.
19:41: This makes me think about a woman that I met.
19:43: I told you this, she does like Million dollar months.
19:47: Oh yeah, based off all her funnels and things like that.
19:51: Her and her family every single year take like, I think 4 months to Europe and they don’t talk to anyone during those 4 months.
19:59: She’s fully present with her kids for 4 months and she still has a million dollar a month, like multiple million dollars, multiple million dollars, and she has it running on her own.
20:10: I’m like that’s the vision.
20:11: That I want, like every time that we talk about our business, like the way that we’re setting up the foundation right now is that we are gonna be able to take time.
20:19: Like, I don’t want to set up the business in a way that requires us to be a part of it all the time.
20:24: Yeah, we want to hand it, then it’s not a business, it’s a job.
20:28: That’s the thing.
20:29: If you can’t trust your team or walk away from what you’re doing, then your business is a job, and I think the key is to make it a business.
20:37: And so yeah, we’re building it with systems and foundations so that we can hand the keys to someone else and be like, hey, can you run this for us while we take this month off?
20:47: And that doesn’t mean that we don’t have sprints.
20:49: Yeah, I feel like we sprinted for 7 months this year, you know, and I feel like we held it together more than ever and then we also have to give our bodies the opportunity and I will say too, like even for me when we had that month off, I was like.
21:04: What the fuck do I do with myself?
21:06: But I had to force myself to relax because I had the vision of like, if I give myself a month, I’m going to get 2 more.
21:12: Or if I give myself a day, I’m going to have 2 more days.
21:15: We don’t realize that when we give ourselves a week, we get 2 more weeks.
21:19: When you officially hit burnout, whether that is completely exhaustion, health problems, your body takes care of it for you.
21:28: It will literally get to a place that you can’t push me anymore.
21:31: And I don’t want, I’ve been.
21:35: In that I’ve been there where my health has taken complete control of my life and realizing how valuable my energy is and like not being able to do anything or also just like the mental state that I was in, I was like, I never want to do that again.
21:53: I agree and you always think you’re like, well, that’s not going to happen to me.
21:57: I can handle everything they’re already in it.
21:59: They’re already there.
22:00: They’re already in it.
22:01: , I also think it gave us more presence like because we were working on our nervous systems and creating capacity and working to hold more capacity like at every event we got to be present.
22:12: Like we were able to set it up in a way where we could just be there and enjoy it with the people that were people feel that, yeah, I mean that’s the difference.
22:20: Like I’ve heard, I’ve met so many entrepreneurs that are like, I’m in, I’m out, I gotta go to this thing.
22:24: I gotta go to that thing.
22:25: I’m going to this event.
22:26: I’m running over there.
22:27: It’s like, why?
22:29: What if the connection’s here?
22:31: What if the whole point is to be in this room and you can feel the difference and clients and audiences can feel that too.
22:38: So what are some of the ways, just pivoting a little bit here that people can recognize when they’re pushing from like Excitement or from a regulated nervous system versus like pushing from fear because I know we talked about like the symptoms of burnout, but what does it look like when you’re pushing from that place of like, oh yeah, I’ve I’ve got the energy and capacity versus like pushing from fear.
23:02: I mean, pushing from fear feels very intense.
23:07: I mean, it feels like controlling, you know, like when you think about just like the feeling in your body, it’s like you’re you’re like wanting to hold on to things.
23:14: You’re like controlling, you’re managing, you’re like fixing and moving parts.
23:18: Like you’re like, I can’t let this go, or I am so like my my claws are in this, you’re attached to it and you’re like, how do I hold on to it more?
23:28: I think what I’ve always done, and I don’t know how it works for you, but like when I know something’s coming from fear, like I can feel the anxiety behind the fear.
23:36: When I’m flowing, it feels like effortless, listlessness.
23:41: And I think for a high achiever, fear can feel effortlessness, effortless, because they’re like, Yeah, I do this all the time.
23:47: I have so much capacity.
23:48: What are you talking about?
23:49: Yeah, they’ve like numbed the fight or flight.
23:51: They’ve numbed it so much, and I think the question that I always ask them, I’m like, OK, that’s great.
23:56: So if this all went away, like how much capacity do you have to be in joy?
24:01: How much capacity do you have to be in just peace?
24:03: Like do you even know what that feels like?
24:05: They’re like, but this is exciting.
24:07: I’m like, Is it?
24:08: Is it?
24:09: Is it?
24:10: Is like, is that though?
24:11: Like it, it is exciting.
24:13: It feels like an adrenaline rush.
24:14: It’s what you’re used to.
24:15: It’s what you’re excited about.
24:18: But how do you know if like that’s not just running on fear?
24:22: And I do think you can switch it because I, you know, I have the vision of like being able to run on excitement and have capacity, but I am doing great, amazing things.
24:31: But I am flowing.
24:32: I am not controlling.
24:34: I am not worried that I’m not going to hit my numbers.
24:36: Like that voice is not in the back of my head.
24:38: It like, if I don’t hit my numbers, if we don’t do this, if I don’t do this, like you know which part of you is running the show.
24:43: Yeah, yeah, I think for me when pushing from alignment, it feels like it just feels like flow.
24:49: It feels like when situations arise.
24:54: I think when I’m pushing from fear and situations arise that I would consider like a bump in the road or a problem, and I’m in that like pushing from fear, it’s like what do I do?
25:06: Let me do this.
25:06: It’s like I want to solve the problem really, yeah, and I want to, or I want to, I have to reach out to this person, this person, this person.
25:12: Instead of just like taking a deep breath and being like it’s gonna work out, it always works out and I think when I’m in alignment that’s just naturally there.
25:20: I’m like, oh this sucks like that didn’t turn out quite right, but that’s OK.
25:24: I’m going to pivot.
25:24: I’m gonna do this instead and I’m going to trust that this person’s gonna come through or I’m going to find the thing I need to find.
25:30: I think the biggest thing that you just said is like in your energy like you can see the heightenness that you and you were speaking about it to like.
25:38: Being aligned feels really grounded in breathing.
25:40: And so I think for people, when you’re hearing us speak, pay attention to your body.
25:47: Your body’s always telling you, Am I in alignment or am I acting from fear?
25:51: Dysregulation is usually from a place of fear.
25:54: There’s a part within you that wants to manage or control the experience.
25:58: And it’s causing inner chaos.
26:00: That is the anxiety.
26:01: Like that is anxiety.
26:03: A lot of people describe that as anxiety of like, Oh, I’m just anxious right now, or I’m, you know, like, and it does feel like you’re putting out all these fires versus it feels like, ping pong ball energy.
26:13: Like that’s what I think about it.
26:15: It’s like you’re running from one room to the next.
26:17: It’s like this and then that and then this and then that and then da da da da da da da da da da.
26:22: That’s coming from a place of fear.
26:24: Alignment feels like, all right, I’m going over here.
26:28: That’s OK.
26:29: Make this decision.
26:31: Call this out.
26:32: Like there’s a calmness to it, yeah, yeah.
26:34: And the problems still arise.
26:35: It’s the way your mind is able to shift the perspective of those problems and handle them in a capa in a fully capacitated capacity, not capacity, but a fully, a full place of having all your energy.
26:48: I think the other reason why we’re calling this like wintering wells because we have a lot less capacity in the winter, you guys.
26:53: Yeah, look at nature, like the trees lose their leaves, they’re conserving their energy, and from the outside it looks like they die, but really they’re just conserving their energy for the spring when they bloom again.
27:03: Animals hibernate, Lakes freeze over.
27:08: Like so many things happen because I always think of it as like, in astrology, they like say planets retrograde, so we all don’t go crazy.
27:18: So like the reason we experience all these Mercury retrogrades is because otherwise our minds are just constantly in motion and it’s a time of self-reflection, but that’s how I view the seasons too.
27:26: Like winter is the time of self-reflection and it’s the time to pause because we’re gearing up and pushing so much in the other seasons.
27:35: Yeah, this makes me think about like, this is exactly why you need like even more capacity givers.
27:40: Like I was saying on my store, the store stories the other day, I was like, winter, if you give yourself permission to winter well, you can also fall into the winter isolation phase, and you don’t want that either.
27:53: You know, so you need connection, you need community, you need other ways of showing up, that do not require work.
28:02: Or checking off the boxes, more extracurricular joyful activities and presents, yeah.
28:08: You know, I always, I think one exercise that has helped me a lot that I keep in mind when I feel like I’m in that fight or flight or like push, push, push from a place of fear is like if I were to like fast forward to being elderly or like at the end of my life, what am I gonna look back and be joyful about or be grateful about and it’s not gonna be like spending hours on my phone or being in front of a computer screen or like pushing so hard that I didn’t get to enjoy friendships or I didn’t get to enjoy.
28:37: Like experiences.
28:38: Like one of the things I look back on even in my early twenties is a lot of the times I was traveling, like I wasn’t actually present.
28:44: There’s so many places I want to go back to because I feel like I have so much more presence now in my life that I just didn’t, you know, I mean we just don’t have it necessarily when we’re 18 and 20.
28:54: and I think that when I, when I go to that future in mind and I look back, it’s a lot easier to be like, oh, this doesn’t feel good right now.
29:01: I’m not in a place where, you know, I just spent 3 hours doom scrolling or whatever it is.
29:06: I’m doing or even just like, I’ve spent 6 hours on my computer working like without a break, or even in jewelry, like I could spend hours in the studio not drinking water, like not caring for myself.
29:17: So, I think it doesn’t really matter what your business is or what you’re doing.
29:22: Like those are the things I think that are important to keep in mind or like, especially if you’re a parent.
29:26: Like, where do you want to show up for your kids?
29:28: Like how do you want them to see you because they’re following everything you’re doing.
29:32: Like they’re looking to you to, to be led.
29:35: Another thing that comes through as you’re saying that, I think I’m putting myself in the shoes of a high achiever, and like the business aspect, you know, there are the CEOs that you meet, and they come in, get stuff done, they’re working really hard, but they never have a relationship with any of their employees.
29:52: And I think like if I was my older self and like my 80s and I had employees, I want to remember every single person.
29:59: I want to remember the stories that they told me.
30:01: I remember, I want to remember that Samantha over there was just like, she had a really difficult time with her family or her grandmother passed away this month.
30:08: Like, I want to remember those moments and like what that takes is presence.
30:12: And I think when you are in fight or flight or completely dysregulated.
30:15: In this doing, doing, doing, you’re disconnecting yourself from the presence.
30:20: And I think entrepreneurs are doing this with their kids.
30:23: They, they’re playing with them, they’re with them, but then ask them five or 10 years later, like, do you remember the memory that you were creating when you were a kid at that time?
30:32: No, because you’re on your phone, or you were thinking about a million things.
30:36: And I think to bridge the gap for people and like, The reason why people don’t remember things, like memories with their kids or memories with their friends are because they’re dysregulated.
30:46: And so like to bring it back to what you’re saying, it really comes down to like, you can build a life on presence that is meaningful, that your kids, your employees, the people that you work with, remember, you know, like not the person that just comes to a meeting is like, All right, so we’re going to do this and this and that, and they’re like, Wait, you didn’t even know that my dog just died, you know.
31:09: Yeah, and I think, I think like what you said with Dakota, you can take that advice of shutting off at a certain part of like a certain time.
31:17: And again, that could be an hour in the middle of your day where you’re just like, I’m taking this hour to myself and I’m not going to be on the phone and I’m not going to think about business.
31:25: I’m just going to go do something that brings me joy or I’m going to go for that walk without technology or I’m going to sit on the couch and set a timer and be bored.
31:32: And I think that it, I think This is where you build back your nervous system.
31:39: Like this is where you build resilience and you take back your attention and you take back your health and you take back your nervous system.
31:47: And I’m going to bring it back to the winter.
31:49: I was like, it’s so much more important to turn off earlier.
31:52: We don’t have as much time in the day.
31:53: Like, even now, like it’s not even like it’s fall.
31:56: We’re in the fall and it’s already getting earlier.
31:59: Like I’m eating dinner at like 4 o’clock, 4:30 already and I’m like crazy.
32:02: I’m telling Nick like we’re going to bed by 8.
32:05: like because I’ve already trained myself to get there, but I think turning off earlier in the winter is huge.
32:12: And then turn off later in the summer, like we’re meant to be out for longer times.
32:16: I mean, we were having 8 o’clock dinners at one point.
32:18: , but I think the winter is such an important time to like turn off earlier.
32:23: And I think as a woman, especially, like your health will thank you too, because again, like we, our cycles also follow seasons, and if we’re fully pushing, pushing, pushing just to like achieve some imaginary goal, you’re just going to be doing yourself a disservice over time.
32:43: Yes.
32:44: It’s not good, you guys.
32:45: Don’t do it.
32:46: Don’t do it.
32:47: Just stop.
32:49: Yeah, I mean, that’s all I can say.
32:50: Just stop it, you guys.
32:51: Stop it.
32:52: No, it’s just I find it silly sometimes, even myself, because I’ve been that person and I’m like, it’s really not worth it.
32:58: Sometimes when Austin and I are in that place or we find ourselves in the fight or flight, like we’ll have a moment where we step back and we’re just like, what are we doing?
33:05: Like what is this really for?
33:07: And I think, of course, like Corin and I both, we have goals for this business.
33:11: We have a vision, like we have our own businesses, we have our own lives going on, but I think at the end of the day, like, You also have to have perspective and really like remember that life is about being present.
33:23: Like that’s what we’re here for, to, to experience, to feel, to be present, to to live with the seasons, to be one with nature, and we’ve gotten so far from that, and both her and I are such huge advocates for like connecting and plugging back into nature.
33:38: Which is why we did our original winter health episode because nature is so healing and when we honor our bodies and the seasons, and we allow ourselves to slow down, to rest, or to, in the summer, like be out and get more vitamin D and live in the sun.
33:54: And do all that stuff like we actually have more capacity throughout the whole year and Corinne has talked about this in previous episodes, but like by honoring your body with the seasons you actually get less seasonally depressed.
34:06: You get less like influenced by the negative aspects of winter.
34:11: Yeah, I’m the one that’s, I’ll openly say it in California.
34:14: I’ve definitely struggled with seasonal depression.
34:16: I had the worst relationship with winter.
34:19: I was like, oh no.
34:21: The misery, not again.
34:24: I was just like, no, sorry to the people in Minnesota who are like, we live in the like, why are you complaining?
34:30: But like it really would rock me.
34:32: It does get very gloomy, you guys, in the, especially we live near the beach, not to brag, but it’s, it has its pluses and minuses, but it does get very gloomy, yeah, yeah.
34:41: And like now shifting this relationship with winter, especially this last year, I mean that was the greatest gift when I look at my annual receive.
34:47: I’m like, Nick, why don’t you tell me this fucking sooner.
34:50: I’m like we’ve been together for 4 years and you finally tell me this and make this a thing a part of our lives, but I will literally live by that forever because winter was just always so tough.
35:01: Like I just have vivid memories of watching TV for 5 to 6 hours, like seasons, like 44 episodes a night because there’s nothing else to fucking do.
35:14: And I realized that was also draining me, right?
35:15: So the blue light’s not good for me.
35:17: Like there’s a lot of things in that, but It gets darker, and I don’t think we have a good relationship with darkness.
35:22: And I think we talk so much about Having a really good relationship with our emotional darkness.
35:31: I’ve definitely grown in that, but I think this is like a physical representation of darkness and darkness is scary.
35:38: We don’t realize that God actually gave us darkness.
35:40: Like the creator, the world goes dark for a reason.
35:44: We need darkness, and I think shifting my relationship with darkness, with winter, with slowerness, with not as much sunlight, because of course we’re all going to feel good when the sun’s out, but how do you support yourself in the moments that There is no sunlight and like realizing that we actually need those darkness, like my body needs to heal in dark, like what?
36:05: Like it’s kind of mind blowing.
36:07: It’s like we, I’ve always, it just completely turned my world upside down.
36:10: And something that comes to like you can only find this if you calm yourself enough to be in peace in I think, especially like if you think early morning hours and right before you go.
36:21: to bed, they say your mind is the most susceptible to programming because you’re in that place of calm.
36:26: And there’s an opportunity for more of that space in the winter because there’s more darkness.
36:31: There’s more like, there’s a more peacefulness that is available to us.
36:35: But I’d also say that is Like winter, a reflection of an invitation to go inward.
36:42: And it’s interesting, like I think back to when I had an eating disorder and I had all these things, like it would get worse at night because the day would be done.
36:49: There wasn’t anything for me to do.
36:51: I had to sit with myself.
36:52: It felt uncomfortable, and I feel like the more we can go inward.
36:56: And it comes up even more during winter because of family dynamics and like holidays and all these other things that are at play.
37:02: It’s like, it is an invitation to go into your own depths.
37:06: And I think as you’re saying, like that’s scary to look at the darkness within us, look at the darkness around us, but there’s also You know, I think of like when you turn on a flashlight in the dark, like there’s an invitation for you to find your own light within that darkness.
37:21: Remember when Neta said in the community after hearing Nick talk that like in the winter season, her psychiatric patients get fucking insane.
37:29: Yeah, they get crazier.
37:30: They get crazier.
37:31: She works and you’re like, why?
37:37: Why?
37:37: Like so like mental health increases significantly in the winter season because of the darkness and because of less light.
37:46: And so one, we have to be with ourselves even more.
37:48: Like what?
37:50: You know, like when I think about that, you’re like, wow, that makes sense.
37:53: I mean, I feel like that’s really what our society has taught us to do in every capacity is like avoid being with ourselves and achieving success is just another layer of us not having to look and sit with ourselves because it’s just another distraction.
38:09: Like they’re all distractions.
38:10: Even, even achieving a business or success or money is all a distraction from being just with yourself, and it’s OK.
38:17: Like it’s a we live in this world like we have to pay our bills.
38:20: We have, we need money because that’s the way society functions right now.
38:23: But like it’s also recognizing that it’s all a distraction from just being with the darkness, with the light, with you, with yourself, yeah, which could be a whole another conversation, but We just hope that, you know, this gives you another layer to go deeper into, again, like we did an episode on the physical ways you can support yourself, but this is also just really being able to recognize when you’re getting near or in burnout in the winter and being OK.
38:52: The slowing down and knowing that like you’re going to get it all done.
38:54: It’s all going to get done eventually.
38:56: Yeah, and I’d say even like going back to the capacity givers, one of the biggest ones when it comes to expressing, like we talk about expressing good things, but you also have to express the heavier emotions that come up.
39:09: I don’t know which one.
39:10: It’s OK, it’s the full one.
39:11: OK,.
39:14: Expressing your emotions that come up.
39:15: Yeah, so expressing the heavier emotions that come up in the winter season, because again, you guys, you guys can try and manage and control your experiences all day long, but if you continue to ignore it, this is where panic attacks come up.
39:27: This is where all of a sudden, you’re watching a movie that makes you emotional, and then you start bawling and you can’t keep it together.
39:34: or I have this thing where I start laughing really hard, and since I haven’t cried in a while, I start bawling, like our bodies arguing.
39:41: And eventually release in the way that they need to release and either you catch up with it or like either you let it open up and like if you think of it like a really full bottle, like, you know, it’s getting so full that all of a sudden it’s going to pop and explode, but unless you open up the cap, take the cap off and like let yourself cry or let yourself feel is so important in the winter as well.
39:59: And that’s the invitation into the darkness that you’re speaking to.
40:03: It’s feeling the feelings and I don’t think, and this is I was talking to someone else about this in the DMs, I was like.
40:08: Feeling is hard.
40:10: It’s scary.
40:11: It is so, so scary, and I don’t want to dismiss that.
40:15: However, I have definitely gotten to a place where I’m not scared to feel anything.
40:19: And you know I’ve been blessed recently to not really feel really heavy emotions, but I will go there.
40:26: Like I’m not scared to go there because I trust that they’re just flowing through me and they don’t make anything of me.
40:31: I’m not identifying by any of them.
40:33: So there is also a world where you can fully feel.
40:36: And so like if you’re not someone that’s super comfortable with fully feeling, find your people that make you feel safe to fully feel like find the corners, whether it’s either hire a therapist, pay someone.
40:47: I’ve done that too.
40:48: I don’t care, but you’ve got to also welcome the harder emotions that come up and don’t numb out this winter.
40:55: Like if you want a winter really well, you got to also feel your feelings, express your feelings, cry them, move through them.
41:03: If not, it’s just going to get stuck and it’s going to manifest into something that you wish did not happen.
41:10: Yeah, I think both Corinne and I would just, challenge you, especially if you’re a high achiever listening to this, to give yourself one day, maybe even once a week during the winter, but one day at least to like reset yourself.
41:24: Turn off your phone.
41:25: Like one thing Austin and I want to do on Christmas is because we can, because it’s Christmas, is turn off our phone and the night before and not turn it on once the whole day.
41:36: Like we just want to go a whole day without the phone.
41:38: And I think we can do that.
41:39: Like everything will still be there when you come back.
41:42: But whatever it is, whatever it is for you that will help you get back into your body, feel the emotions that Kurnas speaking about, I think that is.
41:50: Yeah, and bounds if that sounds really scary to all my high achievers, think of it as like it’s the most productive thing you can do.
41:59: You will, you will get more done.
42:00: It is more productive for you to feel your feelings.
42:02: This is like a book that I want to write so badly.
42:04: It’s like, you want to do hard things, do the hard things that are more productive for you.
42:08: And a lot of the times it’s the opposite thing of what you’re doing, and I think it’s a great idea to invite everyone on this podcast episode that is listening to implement one thing a week that no matter what, every Sunday, right, that’s what I love about the Jewish community Sabbath, like they choose Saturday or Sabbath, I think it’s on Saturdays, where they don’t, they are off their phones, they’re just with family, they’re present, they’re not thinking about work, and I think if you struggle with putting boundaries.
42:37: Set yourself up for success and do the hard thing.
42:39: If you are such a high achiever that likes to knock things in the, knock things like really hit things really hard, set yourself for a really hard challenge.
42:47: Even Corinne and I did that in our building phase.
42:49: Like we took a day off of social media.
42:51: We like said, OK, we’re this day we’re not doing anything like, and that’s like between two people coordinating like, hey.
42:58: We’re not working today, you know, so it is possible.
43:00: You just have to do it, do it.
43:03: Just do it, do it do it.
43:04: Just do it.
43:04: I mean, just decide and do it.
43:06: Like you’re worth it.
43:07: I love, Alejandra talks about this so much in the podcast.
43:11: She was like, you just got to decide.
43:13: Her, her podcast is called Decide to Heal because it’s like it’s a decision, and I think if you’re over here like.
43:18: I know how that feels.
43:20: Are you girls are silly.
43:22: Like, I’m going to go execute my goals.
43:23: I’m like, no, you’re deciding.
43:25: You’re choosing to live a dysregulated life.
43:28: And that’s your decision.
43:29: And I’m not trying to be like harsh or anything, but you are.
43:31: And I think we’re here saying like, hey, choose something that sets you up.
43:35: Go hit your goals.
43:37: Go get all the numbers that you want to hit, but also decide to take care of yourself.
43:42: If you’re not deciding, then you’re just ignoring yourself.
43:46: I agree.
43:46: Sorry for the little love.
43:48: Well, everything’s energy, so I think the more that quantum physics proves that, you know, we attract what we are, we attract like our thoughts, we attract our belief systems, then you have an equal opportunity to attract success in a peaceful state as you do in a push state.
44:05: So just think about that.
44:07: Yeah, literally like it’s all a belief.
44:10: If you believe you have to push yourself and work really, really hard, then that’s what reality will show you.
44:14: But if you think that you can be paid to exist and live in peace and harmony and still get things done, you’ll have that reality too.
44:21: Maybe we can do an episode on that.
44:22: Yeah, that’s a good idea.
44:23: Just that, yeah.
44:25: And on that note, I think we’ve driven it home.
44:28: Go winter well.
44:29: Take care of yourself.
44:30: Take yourself like an hour a day.
44:33: I don’t care where you’re not doing anything.
44:35: Yeah, and get, for God’s sakes, get some blue light blocking glasses.
44:39: And if you need a pair, we have pairs.
44:43: DM us.
44:43: We have a code for you, or you can just use it.
44:45: It’s fully expressed for $10 off.
44:48: Midwest, Midwest glasses, they are the best, you guys.
44:52: We live with them.
44:53: I’m going to start wearing them on this show because I’m so over these lights right now.
44:57: Like, once you start to realize how your eyes are hurting and then you put a toxic blue light is, you’re like, I don’t want any of these lights near me at all.
45:07: So that’s a little plug, but if you did not catch that, you can DM us on Instagram for them.
45:12: All right, thanks.
45:14: Bye.
45:15: We hope you loved today’s episode and that it sparked something in you on your journey to becoming more fully expressed.
45:20: Don’t forget to check the show notes for all the details and resources from today’s conversation.
45:25: If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review.
45:27: We’d love to hear your honest thoughts and takeaways as it really helps us to create content that better serves you.
45:32: This week, we invite you to show up even more as you, more honest, more real, more expressive in your life and business, and we’ll see you on the next one.
0:04: We’re your hosts, Karenna and Samantha.
0:06: This show is your permission slip to stop holding back.
0:10: Here, we talk about what it really means to live unapologetically you in your relationships, your business, and your everyday life.
0:17: We believe the most magnetic version of you is rooted in self-expression, honesty, vulnerability, and showing up fully as you are.
0:24: When you own that, you naturally attract the people, the opportunities, and the life that is meant for you.
0:30: Hey guys, on today’s episode, we are talking how to winter well, what it means to actually create a regulated nervous system during one of the seasons of the year where we’re feeling like we want to go inward and we want to rest and reflect, because so many of you are still thinking about your Q4 goals, and you want to end the year strong, and so not only do we give you the tips and tricks on how to make that happen, but also like a really honest invitation to really learn how to slow down.
1:01: We know, we know that this is a hard topic for some of you that might be listening, or it’s something that you welcome.
1:09: Either way, you’re going to walk away with capacity givers, capacity red flags, really new insight on how to winter well this season.
1:17: Enjoy.
1:18: Hi guys.
1:19: Welcome back to today’s episode where we’re going to talk all about wintering well.
1:25: We have done episodes before on the winter season.
1:29: We have an amazing episode with Nick Bolletto that talked about the practical and physical ways we can help our bodies be supported in the winter, but Karenna and I wanted to talk about what it looks like when you’re in a season in your business of pushing.
1:44: Because winter typically in the natural world is really a time about going inward, resting more, sleeping more, self-reflecting.
1:53: It’s really a time of inner transformation, but so many of us who are high achievers and business owners, unfortunately can’t just like turn off social media, stop everything for three months while winter happens, and then like turn it back on.
2:07: A lot of times, this is Q4 is a huge season of pushing for people, and we thought it might be.
2:13: Helpful to really talk about how you can, what are the signs that you’re pushing from the wrong way and how you can create spaciousness and, you know, regulate your nervous system even if you can’t shut everything down.
2:25: I love this conversation so much because like immediately what comes up for me is like Before I had this idea of like, oh, seasons are meant to be seasonal, like I’m supposed to slow down in the winter or in the summer I have more energy before I even had that awareness, I felt like I had to push all the time.
2:43: Like there was never a season to not push, like before I even learned about the women’s cycles, I thought I was pushing all the time.
2:48: And so you might be listening to this and being like, what do you mean?
2:51: I, every day is a sprint, every day is supposed to be a marathon.
2:55: I’m supposed to show up, there’s no way to drop the ball.
2:57: Like, I can’t not do that.
2:59: What do you mean the kids are going to be home for the holidays, and I got to execute on Q4, like, the end of the year is coming up strong.
3:04: I got to end it really hard.
3:06: And so I love that we’re talking about this because it’s very easy to be like, no, I’m, I’m meant to show up the same exact way that I show up all year long.
3:16: In Q4, yeah, yeah, and I think too, it’s so easy to not even recognize that you’re pushing beyond burnout and capacity, which is something Krina speaks about so well, but what are some of the symptoms that you see or saw in yourself or see in others that like maybe you don’t even realize you’re pushing past capacity.
3:38: I think the biggest thing for like high achievers or someone that lives really nicely and like fight or flight, because a lot of the times we are in fight or flight as high achievers.
3:47: And if you’re a business owner, you’re constantly like, I got to get a lot of things done, you’re not really present in the moment.
3:52: that phase, to me is just like, don’t even worry about that, because there’s no point when you’re in that, like, you’re just so hyperfocused that like, you are just going to continue pushing.
4:03: The signs to pay attention to are outside of your world.
4:07: So, How are you doing in your relationship?
4:10: Are you snapping with your partner?
4:12: Are you a little bit more edgy with your kids?
4:14: Like, are they like playing and all of a sudden like you want to lose it because they’re like throwing too many toys and they’re being too loud and you don’t have the capacity to like really be with that.
4:23: That’s a sign.
4:25: another red flag to look for is like, the, the moment that you do get a breath to slow down, you’re finding other things to do.
4:33: So you are in this place of like, wow, I have an hour where I don’t have to do anything.
4:38: You’re making yourself do work when you really don’t need to be doing work, or you’re like, oh, this is a perfect time for me to squeeze something else in, instead of doing that time because you’re really just afraid to be bored, because being bored, your nervous system doesn’t know how to relax.
4:50: And so your nervous system’s like, I don’t know what to do here.
4:52: I need to keep running because if I keep running and if I keep moving, that’s really great.
4:56: , I think it’s important to note too, like going on your phone and scrolling on social media is not a nervous system relaxation, numbing out that is associating.
5:07: So that’s another sign.
5:08: Doom scrolling is another league sign.
5:11: these are like, so there’s signs to pay attention to before you burn out, and then there’s signs to pay attention to like you are very burnt out.
5:17: So like the like yellow, Like I think about this is like the yellow area, like you’re about to burn out, but you’re not about to burn out.
5:25: This is when you’re like much more short tempered.
5:26: You don’t have the capacity to hold conversations.
5:29: You are avoiding harder conversations.
5:31: You know you need to make a decision in your business, but like you don’t know what to do because you’re so indecisive about it.
5:36: , the other one is that you just can’t calm down.
5:41: Like space feels really too much.
5:44: but then the ones that you’re like, I’m already burnt out, because I think a lot of people get to this place of like, oh, I didn’t realize that I was burnt out.
5:50: What do you mean that I’m burnt out?
5:51: I’m so overwhelmed.
5:52: You’re absolutely exhausted.
5:53: Your, your energy’s crashing by like 3 or 4 o’clock every single day.
5:57: You have really good energy and then you have no good energy.
6:00: you want to run away.
6:01: That’s the other thing that a lot of people run into is like, I don’t want to be around anyone.
6:05: I want to get on a plane and I want a flight and leave.
6:09: that’s a really big one.
6:10: It’s kind of like get the fuck out energy like you’ve gone to the place where like, I’m done.
6:14: I don’t want to be a part of this world.
6:16: You really want to self-isolate.
6:18: And then the other thing to pay attention to as a burnout warning sign is the things that you love become a burden.
6:24: So, let’s say like you’re someone that loves to go to Pilates, but all of a sudden like Pilates is like another hour and you’re like, I don’t want to go all the way to Pilates because I have to sit in traffic to go to my favorite instructor and it no longer feels like something that I want to do.
6:40: But you know deep down that you love going to Pilates or hanging out with girlfriends.
6:46: You’re like, oh, I have to.
6:48: Sam really wants to hang out tonight and like it’s just I don’t want to do that anymore.
6:53: I don’t want to do that today.
6:54: It’s just like I’m done.
6:56: Like that is a burnout warning sign.
6:57: And so your body’s giving you symptoms also to pay attention to headaches, body aches, exhaustion.
7:06: , headaches are a big one because a lot of people are really mindy when they are, exuding a lot of energy or high achievers are working really hard.
7:14: If you’re popping Advil and medicine all day long, more than like normal, that is something to pay attention to.
7:21: I think for me when I was burnt out without realizing it because I have a really high capacity to hold a lot of energy, I would.
7:28: Definitely be very chicken with the head cut off, but then I would, you know, my husband would be like, oh, you need to meditate or you need to just like take a deep breath, and I would go and I’d do a breath work, like a five-minute breath work or I’d meditate and I would pass out.
7:41: I immediately fall.
7:42: I’d be like snoring in the meditation.
7:45: Yeah, that’s a great sign because you’re exhausted.
7:47: And so that’s what we don’t realize is our energy is just wired to keep going really, really quickly, and we like that energy.
7:53: That’s the other thing, our ego and our subconscious is kind of addicted to that pain.
7:57: And so in that addiction, you’re like, Wait, I love running.
8:00: I’m going to keep running.
8:01: I don’t want to stop running.
8:03: But then the minute that you can like counteract that, your body’s like holy shit, I’m exhausted and because of the burnout.
8:10: So what are some of the things like I could speak for myself, but what are some of the things you personally experienced or shifts that you made like, you know, we’ve spoken about what the symptoms are, but what are the shifts you can make when you can’t stop pushing because that’s where I think like I like in the beginning, not everyone can just shut down the business or stop, but I think there is a way.
8:31: To create more spaciousness.
8:32: So like for me personally, my goal for the month of October was in the moments where I had a little time of space.
8:39: It was either walk without my phone, like go for a long walk, or allow myself to be bored.
8:44: Like there are moments this month where I’ve laid on the couch for 20 minutes and I’ve done nothing.
8:49: Like I’ve just pet Mowgli, my dog, and I’ve sat there and I’m just like, oh, I’m bored.
8:53: Like this feels weird, but I just forced myself to sit in it.
8:57: So what are, and it helps.
8:58: I mean it has really helped me to feel when my nervous system is dysregulated and not.
9:02: So what are some of the things you suggest?
9:04: , see, there’s different parts of this conversation.
9:08: If I’m burnt out, I will cancel everything on the calendar and do what my body needs for how long?
9:16: The whole day, like a day, a whole day.
9:18: Like if I, and I was telling this to the girls in like Minded OC, I’ve definitely gone behind the mindset of like, if I give myself a day, I’ll get another day.
9:26: , when you’re running really hard and you have something to execute on or a project that you need to run on, it’s so easy to be like, well, I just got to get this one project done.
9:33: I just got to get this project done, and we’re pushing ourselves throughout the day, but we don’t realize if we give ourselves a day, we’re gonna have two more days.
9:40: so that’s one thing, but the first thing is like I think about like if you are in this season of like, you know that you want to push really hard towards the end of the year and Winter is also a year we don’t have as much energy or sunlight.
9:53: You’ve got to double down on your capacity givers.
9:55: Like the first thing that goes away when people are stressed are the things that give you capacity.
9:59: So walks, drinking water, eating food, hanging out with friends, getting a good night’s sleep, putting your head Going to the ocean is one of the big ones that you always talk about, that I talk about all the time for us.
10:14: Like if you know the season is hard, then you make sure to double down on your capacity givers because there’s just no way to fight a hard season other than compliment the hard season, if that makes sense.
10:25: That’s what I would do to prepare.
10:28: That’s what I would do, be like, make sure you have the massages scheduled.
10:32: Make sure you’re not missing a Pilates class.
10:33: Like you do everything to pour into you so that you can show up more for a hard season.
10:38: Yeah, I highly recommend listening to episode 59, which was our winter health episode, because Corinne and I have implemented a lot of those things that Nick suggested, which is like wearing red and blue light blockers, not red light.
10:50: Blockers, but red light glasses, blue light blockers at night, really sleeping and waking with the sun, which both of us have done.
10:57: And even last night I stayed up late with girlfriends, like had a great time, but I went, I didn’t go to bed till 11, and I was sharing that like today I definitely don’t feel my best because I’ve regulated my sleep so well that when I stay up late, it’s like, it feels like I drank and I did it.
11:13: It does.
11:13: It feels like I got drunk last night and I woke up and I have a headache and I’m like, whoa, this is crazy.
11:19: So, it, these tips do work when you do the physical changes, but I think like what you’re speaking to too, like creating space, like the mental changes as well are so important.
11:29: And I think what’s interesting, like I’m trying to put myself in like a high achiever like that wants to like really come through in Q4.
11:36: Like you can even use your workouts or the things that have been really good for you as something to check off the boxes.
11:41: Like that’s not the point here.
11:43: Yeah, I mean, you know people that do that, the people that do that, they’re like, OK, so I’m gonna push really hard and I’m gonna even push harder to make sure that I get all my self-care stuff.
11:51: I’m gonna double, double stack and have it stack.
11:53: So like while I’m with my kids, I’m squatting at the same time.
11:56: Like that’s not what I’m talking about here.
11:59: Like this is so much more about like.
12:02: Learning how to give yourself what your body needs, going for the walk, slowing down, setting yourself up for success.
12:09: And I think there is this concept in really high achieving women when they want to bend time, and they bend time by double stacking on top of the stress to continue doing more things.
12:21: I’m like, your body’s not resting.
12:23: Everything you’re doing a task, even like listening to books, reading books, all of it is a task.
12:27: You’re just checking things off.
12:28: And so if you’re in that state of a nervous system regulation, like my first thing is like, just pick one thing to like take a breath.
12:37: Like learn how to take a breath for a minute.
12:39: That’s why I say walk without your phone or that’s a huge, that’s at least a good 20 minutes of just total disconnection.
12:46: Even if you’re in your mind, you’re still not utilizing, like you’re not leaving voice notes or you’re not checking your emails or you’re not doing anything.
12:53: Yeah, I think if you’re in that state, like you really need to like learn how to be off for a minute.
12:58: I think the challenge that you gave yourself to like put a timer on for 20 minutes and be like, can I be bored for 20 minutes?
13:03: It’s I mean challenging.
13:04: It is.
13:05: Well, the other day when we like came back from London and we took like a month off, I told Nick I started cleaning the whole house because I was like, I’m fucking bored.
13:11: I don’t have anything to do.
13:12: Nick’s like, you’re gonna build another business in your boredom because he’s like, you needed something else to do.
13:17: I was like, we didn’t have anything to do and I was like.
13:19: I was like, OK, fine, I’ll get to the things in the house that I haven’t gotten to yet.
13:23: But then I made myself bored.
13:25: Like I laid on the bed, did the same thing with Cuschini, and I was like, you know what, I’m just going to enjoy the sun here for a second.
13:31: Like, I don’t need to be anywhere.
13:32: I don’t have to do anything.
13:34: So it depends on the state of your nervous system, but I think in the winter you really, really got to like Really pour into yourself more than ever, because it will catch up to you.
13:45: I think the biggest thing that Nick leaned into us for us, like melatonin is like the sunlight in the winter.
13:51: Vitamin D.
13:52: It’s so important.
13:54: I didn’t even think about that.
13:55: What do you mean?
13:55: Like Winter, we get less sun and literally our bodies need less sun in those moments.
14:01: We’re supposed to get More melatonin, more darkness, more sleep to prepare us for the summertime.
14:09: All those sunburns that you guys got is getting healed in the winter.
14:14: but when we are staying up past dark, light or whatever, we’re just exacerbating our nervous systems even more.
14:21: And it’s so easy when you’re burning at one thick end and you want to hit Q4 goals, you’re going to hit 10 o’clock, 12 p.m. late nights and you’re still working.
14:30: I mean, something we’ve talked about on this podcast before as well is like our cycles as women, like, even within one month, we’re not supposed to be pushing, pushing, pushing every part of the month.
14:42: We’re, there are, and we have had episodes on this, like, there are seasons within the month that we can push more and have more capacity.
14:51: And I think Like, even listening to those little nuances, like for me, when I’m on the heaviest two days of my period, I really try to honor that, and I don’t plan a lot if I don’t have to.
15:01: Like, obviously sometimes I have commitments, but a lot of times I will carve out like a huge chunk of time where I just don’t even have to do anything if I don’t want to because I don’t feel my best.
15:10: I feel very low energy, and I think I think there’s also a misconception because we live in such a, a capitalistic society that’s like we, we, we associate achievement with doing and success with doing and the more we do, like that’s better and I see a movement starting to happen, especially among women that like you don’t have to do as much and you can still get a lot done.
15:37: And you can still get to that level of success that you are desiring.
15:42: What we don’t realize is that the work is always going to be there.
15:46: Like Nick’s like, What are you working on?
15:47: I was like, There’s always stuff to work on.
15:49: What are you talking about?
15:50: I’m like, What do you mean?
15:52: And men are so like simple sometimes.
15:55: I’m like, they’re like, No, there’s not more to work to do today.
15:57: I’m like, no, there’s always something to do.
15:59: I can always move the needle forward.
16:00: I can always reach out to another client.
16:02: I can always, there’s always more to do.
16:04: Yeah,, that’s funny.
16:06: I don’t know if Nick is like this, but Austin will be like, he has such a habit of like, OK, it’s 7 p.m. Like I’m done, and I’m, this is my relaxation time, and I’m just like, but I could send this email and I’ve got to edit this video and I’m gonna do this, and he just is like, I’m gonna watch a movie or I’m gonna do whatever it is that he wants to do.
16:23: That’s like his relaxation time, and I’m like, that must be nice.
16:27: I love that, he is like that, and I’ve gotten like that too, because now, Nick, our relationship is the boundary.
16:33: So, especially with like everything that we’ve been building, like I, my relationship with Nick is so important in addition to the business and it’s like, That 6 or 7 o’clock to turns around.
16:44: I’m off.
16:46: Yes, sometimes I’m creating a reel because I have to post tomorrow, but I give him like 2 hours of my time, and that’s another thing that’s helped me keep accountable in these things is like realizing what’s the real priority.
16:58: Like I agree.
17:00: I forget, like I don’t have kids, but like if I had kids, like is the 2 hours a night with my kids so the priority?
17:08: Yes, it is.
17:09: Like this makes me think about what Dakota was talking about when he was at our podcast party.
17:14: He was like, when I’m at work mode, I am obsessed and I am working.
17:18: And I’m that.
17:19: Come the weekend, I’m a child, I am playing.
17:22: I don’t even think about work.
17:24: And I think for us it’s so hard to be compartmentalized like that, but I think the more that we can get to this place of honoring the most priority in our lives, we realize that like, wow, I could set a boundary and work’s going to be there tomorrow.
17:37: The problems are still going to be there.
17:39: I can move the needle a little bit more.
17:41: And I think this opens up a whole another conversation of like, where is your self-worth tied to?
17:45: Is it tied to the successes?
17:47: That’s different.
17:48: But I think in the winter seasons, what we don’t realize more and more, in order to winter well, we’ve got to learn how to slow down, which I think is like the other thing that we were talking about is like the vision like.
18:01: Yes, we’re talking about so many things like what are the red flags?
18:04: Here’s what you can do to support yourself, but like, start to create a whole new mindset of possibility, like set a whole new vision of what’s possible.
18:12: Like, yes, there is a world like Sam and I right now are crushing these interviews because we want November and December to be present with our friends and family.
18:20: And we talked about that from the year before, like, technically our end of year is now, and, but we’re not tied to like the end of the Q4 thing or like we’re not making that because we’re prioritizing that come November, December, we are so much more present, we’re not recording episodes, editing them, like we can go do our thing and still get the move the business along, but we’re not doing the big things in the middle of a of a sprint season.
18:48: I mean, we also don’t even really acknowledge January as the new year.
18:52: We think that like spring is the new year.
18:54: So I think when you take that pressure off your plate too, and you just allow the seasons to really guide you, like there’s like, to your point of there’s always more to do.
19:04: Like if the end goal for you and your business is to get to a certain place, does it truly matter if it happens in 1 month from now or if it happens in 3 months from now?
19:13: Like, could you reframe it in the sense of like, well, if by spring, I’m where I want to be and my nervous system is feeling good and my body’s feeling good and I’m present for my family and my kids.
19:24: Is that not worth it than you pushing now to get to the same place or maybe not even get to the same place, but you’re burned out, you’re feeling like crap, like you don’t have capacity to even get maybe further.
19:36: Like maybe come spring you’re even further than you thought you’d be because you created that capacity.
19:41: This makes me think about a woman that I met.
19:43: I told you this, she does like Million dollar months.
19:47: Oh yeah, based off all her funnels and things like that.
19:51: Her and her family every single year take like, I think 4 months to Europe and they don’t talk to anyone during those 4 months.
19:59: She’s fully present with her kids for 4 months and she still has a million dollar a month, like multiple million dollars, multiple million dollars, and she has it running on her own.
20:10: I’m like that’s the vision.
20:11: That I want, like every time that we talk about our business, like the way that we’re setting up the foundation right now is that we are gonna be able to take time.
20:19: Like, I don’t want to set up the business in a way that requires us to be a part of it all the time.
20:24: Yeah, we want to hand it, then it’s not a business, it’s a job.
20:28: That’s the thing.
20:29: If you can’t trust your team or walk away from what you’re doing, then your business is a job, and I think the key is to make it a business.
20:37: And so yeah, we’re building it with systems and foundations so that we can hand the keys to someone else and be like, hey, can you run this for us while we take this month off?
20:47: And that doesn’t mean that we don’t have sprints.
20:49: Yeah, I feel like we sprinted for 7 months this year, you know, and I feel like we held it together more than ever and then we also have to give our bodies the opportunity and I will say too, like even for me when we had that month off, I was like.
21:04: What the fuck do I do with myself?
21:06: But I had to force myself to relax because I had the vision of like, if I give myself a month, I’m going to get 2 more.
21:12: Or if I give myself a day, I’m going to have 2 more days.
21:15: We don’t realize that when we give ourselves a week, we get 2 more weeks.
21:19: When you officially hit burnout, whether that is completely exhaustion, health problems, your body takes care of it for you.
21:28: It will literally get to a place that you can’t push me anymore.
21:31: And I don’t want, I’ve been.
21:35: In that I’ve been there where my health has taken complete control of my life and realizing how valuable my energy is and like not being able to do anything or also just like the mental state that I was in, I was like, I never want to do that again.
21:53: I agree and you always think you’re like, well, that’s not going to happen to me.
21:57: I can handle everything they’re already in it.
21:59: They’re already there.
22:00: They’re already in it.
22:01: , I also think it gave us more presence like because we were working on our nervous systems and creating capacity and working to hold more capacity like at every event we got to be present.
22:12: Like we were able to set it up in a way where we could just be there and enjoy it with the people that were people feel that, yeah, I mean that’s the difference.
22:20: Like I’ve heard, I’ve met so many entrepreneurs that are like, I’m in, I’m out, I gotta go to this thing.
22:24: I gotta go to that thing.
22:25: I’m going to this event.
22:26: I’m running over there.
22:27: It’s like, why?
22:29: What if the connection’s here?
22:31: What if the whole point is to be in this room and you can feel the difference and clients and audiences can feel that too.
22:38: So what are some of the ways, just pivoting a little bit here that people can recognize when they’re pushing from like Excitement or from a regulated nervous system versus like pushing from fear because I know we talked about like the symptoms of burnout, but what does it look like when you’re pushing from that place of like, oh yeah, I’ve I’ve got the energy and capacity versus like pushing from fear.
23:02: I mean, pushing from fear feels very intense.
23:07: I mean, it feels like controlling, you know, like when you think about just like the feeling in your body, it’s like you’re you’re like wanting to hold on to things.
23:14: You’re like controlling, you’re managing, you’re like fixing and moving parts.
23:18: Like you’re like, I can’t let this go, or I am so like my my claws are in this, you’re attached to it and you’re like, how do I hold on to it more?
23:28: I think what I’ve always done, and I don’t know how it works for you, but like when I know something’s coming from fear, like I can feel the anxiety behind the fear.
23:36: When I’m flowing, it feels like effortless, listlessness.
23:41: And I think for a high achiever, fear can feel effortlessness, effortless, because they’re like, Yeah, I do this all the time.
23:47: I have so much capacity.
23:48: What are you talking about?
23:49: Yeah, they’ve like numbed the fight or flight.
23:51: They’ve numbed it so much, and I think the question that I always ask them, I’m like, OK, that’s great.
23:56: So if this all went away, like how much capacity do you have to be in joy?
24:01: How much capacity do you have to be in just peace?
24:03: Like do you even know what that feels like?
24:05: They’re like, but this is exciting.
24:07: I’m like, Is it?
24:08: Is it?
24:09: Is it?
24:10: Is like, is that though?
24:11: Like it, it is exciting.
24:13: It feels like an adrenaline rush.
24:14: It’s what you’re used to.
24:15: It’s what you’re excited about.
24:18: But how do you know if like that’s not just running on fear?
24:22: And I do think you can switch it because I, you know, I have the vision of like being able to run on excitement and have capacity, but I am doing great, amazing things.
24:31: But I am flowing.
24:32: I am not controlling.
24:34: I am not worried that I’m not going to hit my numbers.
24:36: Like that voice is not in the back of my head.
24:38: It like, if I don’t hit my numbers, if we don’t do this, if I don’t do this, like you know which part of you is running the show.
24:43: Yeah, yeah, I think for me when pushing from alignment, it feels like it just feels like flow.
24:49: It feels like when situations arise.
24:54: I think when I’m pushing from fear and situations arise that I would consider like a bump in the road or a problem, and I’m in that like pushing from fear, it’s like what do I do?
25:06: Let me do this.
25:06: It’s like I want to solve the problem really, yeah, and I want to, or I want to, I have to reach out to this person, this person, this person.
25:12: Instead of just like taking a deep breath and being like it’s gonna work out, it always works out and I think when I’m in alignment that’s just naturally there.
25:20: I’m like, oh this sucks like that didn’t turn out quite right, but that’s OK.
25:24: I’m going to pivot.
25:24: I’m gonna do this instead and I’m going to trust that this person’s gonna come through or I’m going to find the thing I need to find.
25:30: I think the biggest thing that you just said is like in your energy like you can see the heightenness that you and you were speaking about it to like.
25:38: Being aligned feels really grounded in breathing.
25:40: And so I think for people, when you’re hearing us speak, pay attention to your body.
25:47: Your body’s always telling you, Am I in alignment or am I acting from fear?
25:51: Dysregulation is usually from a place of fear.
25:54: There’s a part within you that wants to manage or control the experience.
25:58: And it’s causing inner chaos.
26:00: That is the anxiety.
26:01: Like that is anxiety.
26:03: A lot of people describe that as anxiety of like, Oh, I’m just anxious right now, or I’m, you know, like, and it does feel like you’re putting out all these fires versus it feels like, ping pong ball energy.
26:13: Like that’s what I think about it.
26:15: It’s like you’re running from one room to the next.
26:17: It’s like this and then that and then this and then that and then da da da da da da da da da da.
26:22: That’s coming from a place of fear.
26:24: Alignment feels like, all right, I’m going over here.
26:28: That’s OK.
26:29: Make this decision.
26:31: Call this out.
26:32: Like there’s a calmness to it, yeah, yeah.
26:34: And the problems still arise.
26:35: It’s the way your mind is able to shift the perspective of those problems and handle them in a capa in a fully capacitated capacity, not capacity, but a fully, a full place of having all your energy.
26:48: I think the other reason why we’re calling this like wintering wells because we have a lot less capacity in the winter, you guys.
26:53: Yeah, look at nature, like the trees lose their leaves, they’re conserving their energy, and from the outside it looks like they die, but really they’re just conserving their energy for the spring when they bloom again.
27:03: Animals hibernate, Lakes freeze over.
27:08: Like so many things happen because I always think of it as like, in astrology, they like say planets retrograde, so we all don’t go crazy.
27:18: So like the reason we experience all these Mercury retrogrades is because otherwise our minds are just constantly in motion and it’s a time of self-reflection, but that’s how I view the seasons too.
27:26: Like winter is the time of self-reflection and it’s the time to pause because we’re gearing up and pushing so much in the other seasons.
27:35: Yeah, this makes me think about like, this is exactly why you need like even more capacity givers.
27:40: Like I was saying on my store, the store stories the other day, I was like, winter, if you give yourself permission to winter well, you can also fall into the winter isolation phase, and you don’t want that either.
27:53: You know, so you need connection, you need community, you need other ways of showing up, that do not require work.
28:02: Or checking off the boxes, more extracurricular joyful activities and presents, yeah.
28:08: You know, I always, I think one exercise that has helped me a lot that I keep in mind when I feel like I’m in that fight or flight or like push, push, push from a place of fear is like if I were to like fast forward to being elderly or like at the end of my life, what am I gonna look back and be joyful about or be grateful about and it’s not gonna be like spending hours on my phone or being in front of a computer screen or like pushing so hard that I didn’t get to enjoy friendships or I didn’t get to enjoy.
28:37: Like experiences.
28:38: Like one of the things I look back on even in my early twenties is a lot of the times I was traveling, like I wasn’t actually present.
28:44: There’s so many places I want to go back to because I feel like I have so much more presence now in my life that I just didn’t, you know, I mean we just don’t have it necessarily when we’re 18 and 20.
28:54: and I think that when I, when I go to that future in mind and I look back, it’s a lot easier to be like, oh, this doesn’t feel good right now.
29:01: I’m not in a place where, you know, I just spent 3 hours doom scrolling or whatever it is.
29:06: I’m doing or even just like, I’ve spent 6 hours on my computer working like without a break, or even in jewelry, like I could spend hours in the studio not drinking water, like not caring for myself.
29:17: So, I think it doesn’t really matter what your business is or what you’re doing.
29:22: Like those are the things I think that are important to keep in mind or like, especially if you’re a parent.
29:26: Like, where do you want to show up for your kids?
29:28: Like how do you want them to see you because they’re following everything you’re doing.
29:32: Like they’re looking to you to, to be led.
29:35: Another thing that comes through as you’re saying that, I think I’m putting myself in the shoes of a high achiever, and like the business aspect, you know, there are the CEOs that you meet, and they come in, get stuff done, they’re working really hard, but they never have a relationship with any of their employees.
29:52: And I think like if I was my older self and like my 80s and I had employees, I want to remember every single person.
29:59: I want to remember the stories that they told me.
30:01: I remember, I want to remember that Samantha over there was just like, she had a really difficult time with her family or her grandmother passed away this month.
30:08: Like, I want to remember those moments and like what that takes is presence.
30:12: And I think when you are in fight or flight or completely dysregulated.
30:15: In this doing, doing, doing, you’re disconnecting yourself from the presence.
30:20: And I think entrepreneurs are doing this with their kids.
30:23: They, they’re playing with them, they’re with them, but then ask them five or 10 years later, like, do you remember the memory that you were creating when you were a kid at that time?
30:32: No, because you’re on your phone, or you were thinking about a million things.
30:36: And I think to bridge the gap for people and like, The reason why people don’t remember things, like memories with their kids or memories with their friends are because they’re dysregulated.
30:46: And so like to bring it back to what you’re saying, it really comes down to like, you can build a life on presence that is meaningful, that your kids, your employees, the people that you work with, remember, you know, like not the person that just comes to a meeting is like, All right, so we’re going to do this and this and that, and they’re like, Wait, you didn’t even know that my dog just died, you know.
31:09: Yeah, and I think, I think like what you said with Dakota, you can take that advice of shutting off at a certain part of like a certain time.
31:17: And again, that could be an hour in the middle of your day where you’re just like, I’m taking this hour to myself and I’m not going to be on the phone and I’m not going to think about business.
31:25: I’m just going to go do something that brings me joy or I’m going to go for that walk without technology or I’m going to sit on the couch and set a timer and be bored.
31:32: And I think that it, I think This is where you build back your nervous system.
31:39: Like this is where you build resilience and you take back your attention and you take back your health and you take back your nervous system.
31:47: And I’m going to bring it back to the winter.
31:49: I was like, it’s so much more important to turn off earlier.
31:52: We don’t have as much time in the day.
31:53: Like, even now, like it’s not even like it’s fall.
31:56: We’re in the fall and it’s already getting earlier.
31:59: Like I’m eating dinner at like 4 o’clock, 4:30 already and I’m like crazy.
32:02: I’m telling Nick like we’re going to bed by 8.
32:05: like because I’ve already trained myself to get there, but I think turning off earlier in the winter is huge.
32:12: And then turn off later in the summer, like we’re meant to be out for longer times.
32:16: I mean, we were having 8 o’clock dinners at one point.
32:18: , but I think the winter is such an important time to like turn off earlier.
32:23: And I think as a woman, especially, like your health will thank you too, because again, like we, our cycles also follow seasons, and if we’re fully pushing, pushing, pushing just to like achieve some imaginary goal, you’re just going to be doing yourself a disservice over time.
32:43: Yes.
32:44: It’s not good, you guys.
32:45: Don’t do it.
32:46: Don’t do it.
32:47: Just stop.
32:49: Yeah, I mean, that’s all I can say.
32:50: Just stop it, you guys.
32:51: Stop it.
32:52: No, it’s just I find it silly sometimes, even myself, because I’ve been that person and I’m like, it’s really not worth it.
32:58: Sometimes when Austin and I are in that place or we find ourselves in the fight or flight, like we’ll have a moment where we step back and we’re just like, what are we doing?
33:05: Like what is this really for?
33:07: And I think, of course, like Corin and I both, we have goals for this business.
33:11: We have a vision, like we have our own businesses, we have our own lives going on, but I think at the end of the day, like, You also have to have perspective and really like remember that life is about being present.
33:23: Like that’s what we’re here for, to, to experience, to feel, to be present, to to live with the seasons, to be one with nature, and we’ve gotten so far from that, and both her and I are such huge advocates for like connecting and plugging back into nature.
33:38: Which is why we did our original winter health episode because nature is so healing and when we honor our bodies and the seasons, and we allow ourselves to slow down, to rest, or to, in the summer, like be out and get more vitamin D and live in the sun.
33:54: And do all that stuff like we actually have more capacity throughout the whole year and Corinne has talked about this in previous episodes, but like by honoring your body with the seasons you actually get less seasonally depressed.
34:06: You get less like influenced by the negative aspects of winter.
34:11: Yeah, I’m the one that’s, I’ll openly say it in California.
34:14: I’ve definitely struggled with seasonal depression.
34:16: I had the worst relationship with winter.
34:19: I was like, oh no.
34:21: The misery, not again.
34:24: I was just like, no, sorry to the people in Minnesota who are like, we live in the like, why are you complaining?
34:30: But like it really would rock me.
34:32: It does get very gloomy, you guys, in the, especially we live near the beach, not to brag, but it’s, it has its pluses and minuses, but it does get very gloomy, yeah, yeah.
34:41: And like now shifting this relationship with winter, especially this last year, I mean that was the greatest gift when I look at my annual receive.
34:47: I’m like, Nick, why don’t you tell me this fucking sooner.
34:50: I’m like we’ve been together for 4 years and you finally tell me this and make this a thing a part of our lives, but I will literally live by that forever because winter was just always so tough.
35:01: Like I just have vivid memories of watching TV for 5 to 6 hours, like seasons, like 44 episodes a night because there’s nothing else to fucking do.
35:14: And I realized that was also draining me, right?
35:15: So the blue light’s not good for me.
35:17: Like there’s a lot of things in that, but It gets darker, and I don’t think we have a good relationship with darkness.
35:22: And I think we talk so much about Having a really good relationship with our emotional darkness.
35:31: I’ve definitely grown in that, but I think this is like a physical representation of darkness and darkness is scary.
35:38: We don’t realize that God actually gave us darkness.
35:40: Like the creator, the world goes dark for a reason.
35:44: We need darkness, and I think shifting my relationship with darkness, with winter, with slowerness, with not as much sunlight, because of course we’re all going to feel good when the sun’s out, but how do you support yourself in the moments that There is no sunlight and like realizing that we actually need those darkness, like my body needs to heal in dark, like what?
36:05: Like it’s kind of mind blowing.
36:07: It’s like we, I’ve always, it just completely turned my world upside down.
36:10: And something that comes to like you can only find this if you calm yourself enough to be in peace in I think, especially like if you think early morning hours and right before you go.
36:21: to bed, they say your mind is the most susceptible to programming because you’re in that place of calm.
36:26: And there’s an opportunity for more of that space in the winter because there’s more darkness.
36:31: There’s more like, there’s a more peacefulness that is available to us.
36:35: But I’d also say that is Like winter, a reflection of an invitation to go inward.
36:42: And it’s interesting, like I think back to when I had an eating disorder and I had all these things, like it would get worse at night because the day would be done.
36:49: There wasn’t anything for me to do.
36:51: I had to sit with myself.
36:52: It felt uncomfortable, and I feel like the more we can go inward.
36:56: And it comes up even more during winter because of family dynamics and like holidays and all these other things that are at play.
37:02: It’s like, it is an invitation to go into your own depths.
37:06: And I think as you’re saying, like that’s scary to look at the darkness within us, look at the darkness around us, but there’s also You know, I think of like when you turn on a flashlight in the dark, like there’s an invitation for you to find your own light within that darkness.
37:21: Remember when Neta said in the community after hearing Nick talk that like in the winter season, her psychiatric patients get fucking insane.
37:29: Yeah, they get crazier.
37:30: They get crazier.
37:31: She works and you’re like, why?
37:37: Why?
37:37: Like so like mental health increases significantly in the winter season because of the darkness and because of less light.
37:46: And so one, we have to be with ourselves even more.
37:48: Like what?
37:50: You know, like when I think about that, you’re like, wow, that makes sense.
37:53: I mean, I feel like that’s really what our society has taught us to do in every capacity is like avoid being with ourselves and achieving success is just another layer of us not having to look and sit with ourselves because it’s just another distraction.
38:09: Like they’re all distractions.
38:10: Even, even achieving a business or success or money is all a distraction from being just with yourself, and it’s OK.
38:17: Like it’s a we live in this world like we have to pay our bills.
38:20: We have, we need money because that’s the way society functions right now.
38:23: But like it’s also recognizing that it’s all a distraction from just being with the darkness, with the light, with you, with yourself, yeah, which could be a whole another conversation, but We just hope that, you know, this gives you another layer to go deeper into, again, like we did an episode on the physical ways you can support yourself, but this is also just really being able to recognize when you’re getting near or in burnout in the winter and being OK.
38:52: The slowing down and knowing that like you’re going to get it all done.
38:54: It’s all going to get done eventually.
38:56: Yeah, and I’d say even like going back to the capacity givers, one of the biggest ones when it comes to expressing, like we talk about expressing good things, but you also have to express the heavier emotions that come up.
39:09: I don’t know which one.
39:10: It’s OK, it’s the full one.
39:11: OK,.
39:14: Expressing your emotions that come up.
39:15: Yeah, so expressing the heavier emotions that come up in the winter season, because again, you guys, you guys can try and manage and control your experiences all day long, but if you continue to ignore it, this is where panic attacks come up.
39:27: This is where all of a sudden, you’re watching a movie that makes you emotional, and then you start bawling and you can’t keep it together.
39:34: or I have this thing where I start laughing really hard, and since I haven’t cried in a while, I start bawling, like our bodies arguing.
39:41: And eventually release in the way that they need to release and either you catch up with it or like either you let it open up and like if you think of it like a really full bottle, like, you know, it’s getting so full that all of a sudden it’s going to pop and explode, but unless you open up the cap, take the cap off and like let yourself cry or let yourself feel is so important in the winter as well.
39:59: And that’s the invitation into the darkness that you’re speaking to.
40:03: It’s feeling the feelings and I don’t think, and this is I was talking to someone else about this in the DMs, I was like.
40:08: Feeling is hard.
40:10: It’s scary.
40:11: It is so, so scary, and I don’t want to dismiss that.
40:15: However, I have definitely gotten to a place where I’m not scared to feel anything.
40:19: And you know I’ve been blessed recently to not really feel really heavy emotions, but I will go there.
40:26: Like I’m not scared to go there because I trust that they’re just flowing through me and they don’t make anything of me.
40:31: I’m not identifying by any of them.
40:33: So there is also a world where you can fully feel.
40:36: And so like if you’re not someone that’s super comfortable with fully feeling, find your people that make you feel safe to fully feel like find the corners, whether it’s either hire a therapist, pay someone.
40:47: I’ve done that too.
40:48: I don’t care, but you’ve got to also welcome the harder emotions that come up and don’t numb out this winter.
40:55: Like if you want a winter really well, you got to also feel your feelings, express your feelings, cry them, move through them.
41:03: If not, it’s just going to get stuck and it’s going to manifest into something that you wish did not happen.
41:10: Yeah, I think both Corinne and I would just, challenge you, especially if you’re a high achiever listening to this, to give yourself one day, maybe even once a week during the winter, but one day at least to like reset yourself.
41:24: Turn off your phone.
41:25: Like one thing Austin and I want to do on Christmas is because we can, because it’s Christmas, is turn off our phone and the night before and not turn it on once the whole day.
41:36: Like we just want to go a whole day without the phone.
41:38: And I think we can do that.
41:39: Like everything will still be there when you come back.
41:42: But whatever it is, whatever it is for you that will help you get back into your body, feel the emotions that Kurnas speaking about, I think that is.
41:50: Yeah, and bounds if that sounds really scary to all my high achievers, think of it as like it’s the most productive thing you can do.
41:59: You will, you will get more done.
42:00: It is more productive for you to feel your feelings.
42:02: This is like a book that I want to write so badly.
42:04: It’s like, you want to do hard things, do the hard things that are more productive for you.
42:08: And a lot of the times it’s the opposite thing of what you’re doing, and I think it’s a great idea to invite everyone on this podcast episode that is listening to implement one thing a week that no matter what, every Sunday, right, that’s what I love about the Jewish community Sabbath, like they choose Saturday or Sabbath, I think it’s on Saturdays, where they don’t, they are off their phones, they’re just with family, they’re present, they’re not thinking about work, and I think if you struggle with putting boundaries.
42:37: Set yourself up for success and do the hard thing.
42:39: If you are such a high achiever that likes to knock things in the, knock things like really hit things really hard, set yourself for a really hard challenge.
42:47: Even Corinne and I did that in our building phase.
42:49: Like we took a day off of social media.
42:51: We like said, OK, we’re this day we’re not doing anything like, and that’s like between two people coordinating like, hey.
42:58: We’re not working today, you know, so it is possible.
43:00: You just have to do it, do it.
43:03: Just do it, do it do it.
43:04: Just do it.
43:04: I mean, just decide and do it.
43:06: Like you’re worth it.
43:07: I love, Alejandra talks about this so much in the podcast.
43:11: She was like, you just got to decide.
43:13: Her, her podcast is called Decide to Heal because it’s like it’s a decision, and I think if you’re over here like.
43:18: I know how that feels.
43:20: Are you girls are silly.
43:22: Like, I’m going to go execute my goals.
43:23: I’m like, no, you’re deciding.
43:25: You’re choosing to live a dysregulated life.
43:28: And that’s your decision.
43:29: And I’m not trying to be like harsh or anything, but you are.
43:31: And I think we’re here saying like, hey, choose something that sets you up.
43:35: Go hit your goals.
43:37: Go get all the numbers that you want to hit, but also decide to take care of yourself.
43:42: If you’re not deciding, then you’re just ignoring yourself.
43:46: I agree.
43:46: Sorry for the little love.
43:48: Well, everything’s energy, so I think the more that quantum physics proves that, you know, we attract what we are, we attract like our thoughts, we attract our belief systems, then you have an equal opportunity to attract success in a peaceful state as you do in a push state.
44:05: So just think about that.
44:07: Yeah, literally like it’s all a belief.
44:10: If you believe you have to push yourself and work really, really hard, then that’s what reality will show you.
44:14: But if you think that you can be paid to exist and live in peace and harmony and still get things done, you’ll have that reality too.
44:21: Maybe we can do an episode on that.
44:22: Yeah, that’s a good idea.
44:23: Just that, yeah.
44:25: And on that note, I think we’ve driven it home.
44:28: Go winter well.
44:29: Take care of yourself.
44:30: Take yourself like an hour a day.
44:33: I don’t care where you’re not doing anything.
44:35: Yeah, and get, for God’s sakes, get some blue light blocking glasses.
44:39: And if you need a pair, we have pairs.
44:43: DM us.
44:43: We have a code for you, or you can just use it.
44:45: It’s fully expressed for $10 off.
44:48: Midwest, Midwest glasses, they are the best, you guys.
44:52: We live with them.
44:53: I’m going to start wearing them on this show because I’m so over these lights right now.
44:57: Like, once you start to realize how your eyes are hurting and then you put a toxic blue light is, you’re like, I don’t want any of these lights near me at all.
45:07: So that’s a little plug, but if you did not catch that, you can DM us on Instagram for them.
45:12: All right, thanks.
45:14: Bye.
45:15: We hope you loved today’s episode and that it sparked something in you on your journey to becoming more fully expressed.
45:20: Don’t forget to check the show notes for all the details and resources from today’s conversation.
45:25: If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review.
45:27: We’d love to hear your honest thoughts and takeaways as it really helps us to create content that better serves you.
45:32: This week, we invite you to show up even more as you, more honest, more real, more expressive in your life and business, and we’ll see you on the next one.
In this episode, we explore:
- What the winter season truly means for humans, physically, emotionally, and energetically
- How to Winter Well in your real, modern life
- Actionable steps to slow down without feeling like you’re “falling behind”
- Why pushing in the colder, darker months works against your biology and your creativity
- How to use winter intentionally so you can create, produce, and express more fully in the spring
This conversation is an invitation to shift the paradigm to give yourself permission to rest, reclaim your inner rhythm, and remember that slowing down is not losing momentum… it’s building it.
Join The Fully Expressed Community, where you can be surrounded by other women who are also on the same path of personal growth, healing, and uncovering their authentic expression. Being in a community surrounded by others can truly be one of the most supporting and healing containers to support your personal invitation.
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