In this episode, Samantha and Karenna dive into the heart of authenticity — exploring how honoring and loving someone else’s authentic expression can unlock even more of your own. When you give others permission to be fully themselves, you naturally expand your own freedom to live unapologetically and wholeheartedly.
0:02: Welcome to the Fully Expressed podcast.
0:04: We’re your host Karenna and Samantha.
0:06: This show is your permission slip to stop holding back.
0:10: Here we talk about what it really means to live unapologetically you in your relationships, your business, and your everyday life.
0:17: We believe the most magnetic version of you is rooted in self-expression, honesty, vulnerability.
0:22: And showing up fully as you are.
0:24: When you own that, you naturally attract the people, the opportunities, and the life that is meant for you.
0:29: Hey guys, so excited to have you back for another episode.
0:32: This one’s a special one.
0:34: It’s just Karenna and I talking about perspectives, beliefs, and accepting other people’s differences.
0:41: Oof, you guys.
0:42: This conversation has been on our hearts for what it feels like for most of this last year, but for such a long time.
0:48: And what is so special about this episode is that we’re really going to dive into what does it really look like to accept other people’s expression, their authenticity and their beliefs and how it can be challenging, but also an invitation for your growth.
0:59: So that being said, we’d love for you to listen in to this episode.
1:04: How are you?
1:05: What are we doing?
1:07: I’m doing, I’m doing good, actually.
1:09: How are you doing?
1:10: I’m good.
1:11: We’re in Arizona right now for anyone that’s listening.
1:14: we are recording podcast episodes all day before Powerhouse tomorrow.
1:19: Yeah, it’s been great so far, and we wanted to talk today about a theme that’s been coming up a lot for us, which is speaking your truth, authenticity, what does that look like?
1:29: How can you stand in your personal power and hold less judgment towards people?
1:34: , from being in your truth.
1:38: Yeah, I think something that Sam and I have been like, we went to this dance party.
1:42: , on Sunday, we went to Daybreakers and on the way there, we were just having so much conversation around authenticity and what it looks like to step into the kind of women that you want to become, but also leaning into your beliefs while also accepting other people’s beliefs.
1:57: I think so often it’s so easy to get caught up in like, well, I’m learning this thing, so I am the right way to be learning this thing and It’s easy when you’re in that early stages to feel like I’m right, I’m wrong and whatever.
2:10: And so we’ve been having a lot of lessons in our life about what does it look like for us to still honor our truth while also being open to other people’s opinions and beliefs.
2:21: And I think I’ve always done this very, very well, but I do remember when I first started, especially coaching or like learning and things like that, I was like, no, it can only be this way.
2:30: Yeah, this is the right way.
2:32: And even if my energy didn’t come off that way internally, that’s how I felt.
2:37: And it was like such a closed off mindset.
2:39: And something that we have like really, really started to like anchor and now is like the more authentic that we can be and the more that we can embrace our own expression without trying to take from someone or trying to prove to someone, the more welcoming it is for us to welcome other people’s expressions and their way of being and their beliefs and their values and, because when we do that for ourselves, you end up loving yourself so fully, like it’s like, well, I get to love that person fully too.
3:11: Yeah, I mean, I can say I was 100% a know it all when I was in my twenties.
3:16: And I think some of that came from a place of fear of not wanting to look maybe beyond my belief systems.
3:24: Some of it was programming, And growing up in, in a, you know, I have two lawyer parents.
3:31: So there’s a lot of like, this is right, this is wrong, and I think that created a structure in my mind of, well, if I believe this to be true, then that’s the only truth.
3:40: and it wasn’t until I started asking deeper questions, more questions, and really listening to other people.
3:46: I think also, I didn’t feel heard as a kid.
3:50: So in my twenties, I was like navigating this, this energy of, listen to me, I Something to say and I’m right and I think the more I started realizing maybe I should be listening more and not being such a know it all, I started to really hear other perspectives.
4:04: I also would say I, I think you could attest to this is like traveling, going to other countries, going to other places, really seeing other ways of being just was like the door that shifted that really opened my mind to coming home and realizing, oh, I don’t know it all.
4:19: In fact, I probably know nothing in a lot of ways.
4:22: Absolutely.
4:23: And I think too, I think, yes, absolutely.
4:25: I could relate to that.
4:26: I think but for me specifically, it wasn’t, I was just so damn curious.
4:30: Like I was, I think any time I meet someone from a different culture or a different belief system or background, I’m just like so curious.
4:39: We just had someone on the podcast I was like, maybe I’m just so damn nosy.
4:42: I was like, no, I don’t think I’m nosy, but I’m just like, tell me more.
4:46: Like I want to know why you why you believe these things and In our world today, like it’s so easy to fight between like I choose this side versus that side, and I wish there was just like so much more conversation about like, well, maybe I don’t understand or like maybe I don’t get it.
5:02: I don’t have the same beliefs as you do.
5:04: But like walk me through, yeah, like, what made you get to that point?
5:09: I think both you and I are the type of person to be asking all the questions in a conversation with someone because I’m the same way.
5:15: We just want to know more about people and who they are and that’s probably why we have a podcast, but I, I think that.
5:23: Being curious is the answer for sure in terms of inviting people into seeing other perspectives and inviting yourself into seeing other perspectives.
5:31: Absolutely.
5:32: And I think one thing that has grounded me and opening it up to other people’s perspectives or other values, beliefs, I’m gonna say cultures like we’re all so different.
5:39: There’s so many different things like that people run into and I’m like, at the fundamental thing, what really matters is like, are you a good person?
5:47: Yes.
5:47: Are you a good person?
5:49: Like there’s certain conversations that I’ve been having and I’m just like, I might not believe the same thing as you, but you treat me with love, respect, you’re curious, you show up for me, you want to love me, you listen, like, why would I ever write you off because you have a different belief system.
6:07: It just doesn’t feel.
6:10: Like love, it doesn’t feel like the ultimate truth, and I think we’re all ultimately trying to get to this place of being our best selves.
6:19: And if you’re listening to this podcast, you’re trying to become your best self.
6:22: You’re trying to find your way in this world.
6:25: And so that’s great, like whatever path you end up choosing, but ultimately it’s like, OK, well how can I just be a good human?
6:32: Yeah, how can I just be loving?
6:33: How can I just like Accept and like the more that I accept other people, the more I accept myself.
6:39: Yeah.
6:40: What’s your process in terms of, let’s say you come up against a belief that doesn’t align with yours because I know like when we take ourselves out, obviously we could have the higher perspective and we could say, I accept you and love you for who you are, but what is the process that you go through to like get to that place of like, well, we have different beliefs and what did that look like to get there or was it, were you always that way of just accepting that people are gonna.
7:04: Yeah.
7:05: Oh yeah, I think for me it, it’s always been stuck between right and wrong.
7:09: Try to look black and black white.
7:10: Like whenever I am challenged by someone else’s belief systems and they are learning something, they’re sharing something that I like don’t necessarily agree with, it seems like to me, one, I probably have a lack of information.
7:22: So like I’m under educated, like I don’t know enough to be able to actually have a solid opinion on that and that’s where I end up wavering.
7:30: , or secondly, like once I can put that aside, I’m like, well, how is this person showing up for me?
7:36: Are they the kind of person that I want to be around?
7:38: Like, do you, you know, does this person love me fully?
7:42: Do, do they get curious about my process?
7:45: Do they only talk about their beliefs?
7:47: Like, I also don’t know, I will love and accept people, but I also don’t feel super comfortable to be like, OK, well, I wanna hang out with you all the time, but I, I, I don’t think I’m gonna be in the room with someone that’s like Only talking about one thing all the time and that’s the only thing that they stand for.
8:00: It’s like, OK, how can we have multiple like a multi-dimensional conversation around like what you do and what I do and like that seems better, but in order to like bring it back to what you’re asking for, it’s kind of just working through like my own internal stuff that comes up around like Should I be thinking that way?
8:15: Yeah.
8:15: Should I not be thinking that way?
8:17: Am I missing something?
8:18: Am I under educated?
8:19: Like that I think that’s one of the big ones for me is like the lack of education and the lack of information that tends to create more chaos whenever I’m triggered by someone’s authentic expression or belief systems or values that I may not know or cultures that I do not understand.
8:36: I bring this back and I wouldn’t have gotten to that place because like for example, I’ve coached so many women that are in different cultures and in their cultures, women are submissive.
8:45: Women are the quiet ones.
8:48: And you know, like sometimes in conversations like you have the conversations with them where they’re like, well, I just do whatever my husband says, or and I like immediately I would get I could get like, what?
9:00: What do you mean?
9:01: You don’t talk back, you don’t ask your curiosity like he doesn’t help you out things around the house.
9:05: What are you doing?
9:06: And I could do that or I can just get curious as to like, OK, so tell me more about why you believe those things.
9:12: I love that.
9:13: Yeah, and I think, you know, we’re in such a divisive time right now where it is so easy to just have polarizing beliefs and this is the truth, or this is the truth.
9:22: And I think that it’s so beautiful that you’re able to take that question and instead of just being like, you’re wrong, ask them, be inquisitive, and really like get to a place where even if you don’t agree with them, you can see from their perspective.
9:36: Totally.
9:36: And I think I think the goal here on this lifetime is for us to be our most fullest expressed self, and whatever journey we choose, we chose it and don’t give a fuck about all sense and that’s OK.
9:50: That also means like loving others for the choice and the path that they choose too, right?
9:54: Like I think ultimately like we’re all here trying to figure out how to be ourselves, how to be.
9:59: authentic, how to be our fullest express self, how to make decisions that feel aligned with ourselves and hoping that the people that are closest to us are not going to judge them.
10:07: Like I get that.
10:09: and so, but the the path that I have found that is easier for me to own that for myself is when I’m not doing that to other people because you have this really great quote that you always talk about the judgment that you judge within.
10:21: The judgment that you have within the judge that you push on to others is the judge that you have within yourself.
10:26: Yeah, it was, I think you, you, you attract what you judge until you no longer judge what you attracted.
10:33: Yeah.
10:34: And like I hear that it’s like, OK, well, if I’m judging them, what am I judging within myself?
10:39: Yeah, what are you seeing in yourself exactly?
10:41: Yeah, and I think it is so true.
10:42: I mean, I feel this, I think particularly for me with like family members, and I have so much judgment.
10:48: I’m not gonna lie.
10:49: I’ve had so much judgment around some of my family members and then I had to ask myself, what am I seeing in myself?
10:53: A lot of times it’s things like maybe there’s a part of me in that and I’m like, oh, I don’t like that part of me.
10:58: I don’t want to see that.
11:00: You know, I don’t want to become that or I don’t want to embody that, but I do think there’s a, if, if it’s triggering you, there’s something for you in it for sure.
11:07: Absolutely.
11:08: And I think there’s also To using like your family like I think when you choose a certain path, you also get to choose how much of that energy of capacity for but I will say like the more that I have accepted the people as they are and I get to love them and see them and celebrate them for the things that they.
11:26: that are so important.
11:28: it’s so much.
11:29: I’m so much more welcoming in my energy of, yeah, cool.
11:34: I love that for you.
11:35: I don’t know what that means to you and like, but I don’t have to know.
11:39: And ultimately like even in my relationship with Nick like And the secret sauce that I have learned is like him and I are going to be so different and I want us to be different.
11:48: I think at one point I thought that him and I needed to be exactly the same.
11:52: And I think we can get into this place with the like friendships, family dynamics, brothers and sisters, your partners.
11:58: It’s like it’s so much safer if you know that this person knows exactly like you do, thinks exactly like you do, has the same beliefs and values as you do.
12:08: And ultimate I was like, I don’t want that anymore.
12:10: I was like at the end of the day, I’m only doing that for my own safety and I’m only doing that for my own understanding because it’s so much safer to know exactly.
12:18: Let’s just use Nick as example.
12:20: I talk about him so much on this podcast, but like it’s so much safer for me to say, well, we’re always gonna walk this down these lanes together, and he’s like, no, cry out like my lane’s yellow and yours is red and that is OK, you know, like, but what I want it to look like yellow.
12:36: What do you mean?
12:36: Like.
12:38: Is yours as big as mine or is it as small as mine?
12:40: Like, are we, is it different?
12:42: And it probably is different.
12:43: I even think about this concept sometimes with like love.
12:47: I always said, I was like, honey, how much I always ask him like, how much do you love me?
12:51: And he’s like, I love you so much.
12:52: I was like, what does that mean?
12:54: Like how much?
12:55: Like give me like give me like actual like I’m like this much like you know I’m telling the stars like forever?
13:03: What do you mean?
13:04: And then like below that, like my like higher consciousness knows that at the end of the day I will never know the depth of Nick’s love, but I get to trust the level of Nick’s love.
13:15: But when we’re in this place of wanting everything to be the same, like it’d be so much easier for me to know that Nick loves me the same the same.
13:23: that I love him every single day just so that I can feel safer in the fact that I’m receiving exactly what I’m putting out.
13:31: And if we take that example into like a much bigger example with like beliefs and so or like the path that you’re choosing or your authentic expression or something called in this way like The better that we can get with, it doesn’t even matter.
13:45: It truly doesn’t matter when you get to this place internally like, wait, it doesn’t matter if they’re different than me.
13:51: It doesn’t matter if they think a little bit different.
13:54: But how can I show up and love this person and meet them where they’re at and say, I get it even though I don’t understand.
14:00: Yeah.
14:01: Something I think that’s amazing too is when you start to ask these questions within yourself or like especially when you’re triggered or when you’re seeing something, it also gives me such a one gratitude towards the other person for like challenging me.
14:14: And also, it’s given me a deeper appreciation for myself.
14:17: It’s shown me where I’ve grown, where I need to grow.
14:20: I have certain friends in my life who communicate very differently than I do, and they have been the biggest growth.
14:28: Challengers for me in terms of understanding like oh this isn’t personal or that’s just how they communicate or that’s just how they show up like to your point and I could control that or want to control it or only surround myself with people that are just like that yeah just like me there’s only one me though I’m just kidding.
14:46: No, but to show up a specific way that makes me feel comfortable.
14:49: But now, as I’ve, as I’ve gotten to be around other people that think differently or travel and see other cultures, I like that challenge.
14:56: I like feeling uncomfortable when someone brings something to the table where I’m like, oh, that, that’s spicy.
15:03: That’s different than how I feel.
15:05: Like, let me dissect that.
15:06: Let me analyze that.
15:07: And ask myself, why is this triggering me?
15:09: Why is this why is this bringing up some discomfort?
15:11: like what have I not worked through or what is this?
15:14: And sometimes it’s bringing up childhood trauma or it’s bringing up, you know, it’s a lack of information, yeah, or not understanding and, and that’s something I do love about you is you’re so good at asking the deeper questions and asking like, well, tell me more about that and how does that feel?
15:27: and.
15:28: You know, it has encouraged me to do the same and you bring, I love our conversation so much because you always bring a different perspective.
15:35: Like, I feel like we’re so similar in ways and we’re so different and kind of like you and Nick.
15:40: Like it’s so beautiful.
15:42: I welcome those type of dynamics.
15:43: I want more people that are different than me.
15:45: I want to open my mind to Different ways of thinking and ways of being.
15:49: And that’s something we’ve also cultivated in our community is just having so many different women with different perspectives and the old me would have taken so many little remarks personally or, you know, felt uncomfortable about certain things.
16:01: And now I’m just like, oh, how interesting.
16:03: Tell me more.
16:03: Like, what else are you thinking or what else is your perspective and, and being like, cool, that’s awesome.
16:09: I love that you think that way.
16:12: There’s two things I want to pull a string on.
16:13: One, something you said is like also like assumptions because I think a lot of the times like when we are that little spicy edgy thing someone said things that I didn’t like and I was like, wait, that didn’t land well.
16:22: I can’t keep up.
16:23: It, it probably is because I am flooded with assumptions about what they said, yeah, which I think is important to think.
16:29: Think about and then the other thing that shit oh we had a moment in the car on the way to Daybreaker where we were having this conversation and you were telling me about your experience and I was like, Sam, when I hear you say that, that makes me feel very anxious.
16:44: Do you remember that?
16:45: I was like, I don’t like that.
16:46: And but I shared it from my view versus like, and I didn’t realize this from the moment that this is what I was doing, but I did do this.
16:55: I was like, I did this and I’m now looking back at myself and I was like, oh.
16:59: I was sharing it from my perspective because that was my perspective of how you were sharing.
17:04: I wasn’t trying to share the way that you view the world because this is the whole, we’re not gonna go in that conversation, but I thought it was so beautiful because I was like, oh, that makes me a little anxious the way that you think about that and you’re like, oh, like that wasn’t that isn’t what it was and you clarified.
17:18: And if we can do that more with the people that are in our lives or the people that we meet and open up the door to get beyond the word that you heard, beyond the sentence that came out of their mouth, you will understand so much more and Even if you don’t understand, it really doesn’t matter as long as they have a reason for them choosing that.
17:40: Yeah, because of the day you’re, you’re choosing your path.
17:44: And I think ultimately what we’re also saying is like you can love, absorb, meet other people where they’re at, while still choosing your own lane, 100%.
17:54: And I think there’s like a strength in that and we need different perspectives.
17:57: We need different people.
17:58: We can’t, we’re not meant to all be the same.
17:59: We’re all experiencing life through our own eyes.
18:02: So of course, Like it wouldn’t make sense if we were all the same we’d be robots, you know, it’d be a very boring world, yeah, and I’m like also like we were just got off like one of the things that we just got off this one episode with, I was like, we want people to be different.
18:16: It’s what makes us all unique.
18:17: It’s diversity like I love diversity.
18:20: I also love diversity in culture.
18:23: I love diversity and religion.
18:25: I love diversity and food.
18:27: Like, come on, how many of us are eating Italian and Mexican and and let’s just say Asian.
18:33: Throughout the week and it’s like what if you ate American every freaking day it’s like to some people, I get it like they like American American every single day.
18:43: I understand, but how fun it is to like juice it up every once in a while.
18:47: You’re like, oh, I wanna try a different dish, right?
18:50: Like we’re, we get to do that too with our beliefs and our Values and our cultures and the people that we surround ourselves with.
18:57: Like, I, and maybe that’s not for everyone, and I’m OK.
19:01: I think that’s OK.
19:02: Like I think a lot of us, again, if this is not for you, then you’re choosing your own path.
19:06: But, but I still challenge people to consider it because I think that it also is what creates better discernment.
19:16: Because you hear something opposite you and instead of just being like, no, that’s wrong, you actually ask the other person and listen to what their perspective is.
19:24: I feel like it, it gives you a broader sense of, of life, of just like recognizing that, OK, maybe I can stay really strong in my belief, but that’s really wild.
19:33: They believe something so different, how cool, how crazy, like that’s OK.
19:37: I, I, I would challenge people to, to ask deeper questions cause I think it’s also what I think we’ve lost critical thinking in a lot of ways, and I think by by being inquisitive and really observing other people and listening to them, that also contributes to being a critical thinker and, and thinking outside the box.
19:55: And by doing the critical thinking, that’s where you to like kind of figure out like who am I in the messy middle.
20:02: But I think this is what’s so hard for so many people it’s like it’s, and especially our minds, right?
20:06: Like we’re having a human experience.
20:07: We, we definitely, we’re gonna have parts of us that are gonna be so attached to something because it’s so much easier to attach to that.
20:15: it’s a whole another story when you are actually learning how to create this fluidity with your beliefs and your values and still anchoring in your truth and, essentially just fluidity around things around you.
20:29: So, the biggest thing with critical thinking, is that you get to like really start to discern for yourself and understand more, right?
20:36: You’re opening up the door.
20:37: And for some people, like opening up that new door and not knowing what’s on the other side is kind of scary, but again, you won’t know if you don’t have information, you can’t really make decisions on how you want to live.
20:48: So like I think it’s so cool or how you want to respond to something.
20:51: And so it’s so cool when you are just kind of working through information and opening up your mind and integrating it and be like, OK, I integrated this information like who do I want to become?
21:01: And I feel like I’m continuing to do that in my life.
21:04: Like there’s so many new data points or new pockets of information that are coming to me and I’m Not like trying them on, but I’m also like, OK, let’s see how this feels.
21:16: Does this align with my soul?
21:18: Does this align with the soul that God created me to have, you know what I mean?
21:20: Like that God gave me this earth and he’s like, you know, at the end of the day, like this is what my lived experience is going to be like, is that something I want to keep with me and we have those choices.
21:29: I think sometimes when we hear people at their word, it’s always easy to be like, well, if I accept them there, then I’m accepting it.
21:38: If I let them be right in their thoughts.
21:42: That I’m, I’m I’m saying that’s OK.
21:45: And you see this a lot in politics.
21:48: You see this a lot in just men versus women.
21:52: You see this in anything that is the extremes of both sides.
21:55: And so, but it doesn’t have to be.
21:58: It’s OK for them, doesn’t mean it has to be OK for you.
22:01: What I was gonna say too is that the through line is.
22:04: There’s a freedom in questioning your own belief systems, and I think that if you are one of those, and, and we’ve all been there, the type of person that’s like, nope, that’s the truth, that’s all there is.
22:14: I’m, you’re wrong, I’m right.
22:16: I think you’re doing yourself a disservice from the opportunity to, and it doesn’t even have to be something huge like religion or politics.
22:23: It could be, I used to have a really strong belief system around money and how to make money and what money.
22:28: Meant.
22:29: And, you know, I grew up with parents who said, oh, well, money doesn’t grow on trees.
22:33: Like I had a lot of money beliefs to work through.
22:35: And some of them were so deeply ingrained that it wasn’t until I got around other people who didn’t have those beliefs, who had very different money beliefs that I was like, oh my gosh, that’s a belief that I’m holding, that’s not true.
22:47: And look what this person is creating, or look what this person is creating or even in my creativity.
22:52: I, my whole life wanted to have a creative business.
22:55: Like I wanted to be a creative entrepreneur and I had this story in my head again coming from two lawyer parents that were like, go to college, get a degree, like that’s the that’s the path they did.
23:05: That’s all I thought was possible and that being a creative was just a hobby and it would only ever be a hobby and they would say things unknowingly from their own belief systems that reinforce that.
23:14: And I think when I started to put myself, like when I lived in LA and I was around other creatives and other entrepreneurs or I went to the jewelry school and I saw people really successful doing what I wanted to do.
23:26: I’m like, oh, again, that’s such a deep-seated limiting belief, but if I didn’t allow myself to put myself in environments around other people or like ask deeper questions or go to those places where I was being shown another way of being.
23:40: I wouldn’t have ever let go of that.
23:42: I would have held on to that.
23:43: And one more example actually that’s really powerful is when I was like 25, I was living in LA.
23:47: I, I was probably had spent the past 5 years trying to lose 50 pounds like this, and I told myself so many stories like when I lose the weight I’ll be an actress or when I lose the weight I’ll be loved or I’ll find my partner or I’ll be accepted.
23:59: Like I told myself all these stories and when I I was on set one day with another PA cause it was when I first got into the industry, so I was just like a, a production assistant and I was with this guy and he’s like, I’m sitting there talking about how hard it is to lose weight and I go to spin 4 times a week and I do all these things.
24:15: He’s like, really?
24:16: Like losing weight’s easy.
24:17: Like he just said it’s so matter of fact, like that was his belief.
24:21: And I went home and I, I had just started like talking to Austin and I said, this asshole over here was like losing weight’s easy.
24:29: He has no idea, da da da da.
24:30: And Austin goes, what if that’s just a belief you’re holding?
24:33: Like, maybe it is easy.
24:34: And in that moment, something clicked for me and I was like, oh my God, this is a story that I have told myself.
24:39: For so long that it is true and I think that that could be true on the the smallest things and the biggest things and so I’ve become like you this more inquisitive person because I’m like, is that a belief I’m carrying that’s limiting me, that’s holding me back or that’s like stopping me from getting to know other people or seeing other perspectives.
24:59: And I think that’s a really, that’s the part where I’m like, I encourage people to ask deeper questions or to just like listen, like you don’t, even if you in your mind you’re like, nope, you’re wrong, I’m right.
25:08: That’s fine.
25:09: But at least hear people out.
25:10: And I think if we did more of that, more people, we wouldn’t have so much divisiveness because we’d be like, OK, well, I don’t agree with that, but that’s OK.
25:17: I don’t have to agree with you.
25:18: I can see where you’re coming from.
25:20: I can see your perspective and I can respect and honor that.
25:24: Something that I’m hearing from you say like in that moment where you had this belief like you were kind of like angry, you’re like with him.
25:30: You were like, no he’s wrong, losing weight is not easy.
25:34: You’re wrong and you can feel in that energy that feels like you’re wrong.
25:42: So you’re telling yourself, not only you’re telling him that he’s wrong, you’re telling yourself that you’re wrong.
25:47: And then there’s all that shame and guilt and anger and frustration and so I think something I would, I always use as kind of like an anchor point is kind of being like, what’s my energy behind this belief that I’m holding?
25:59: Am I, am I, because I didn’t do the thing or because I’m quote unquote right wrong in this moment, am I feeling shame for it?
26:07: Am I feeling guilt for it?
26:08: Is it creating unhealthy and like energy around it within me?
26:13: Like, is it causing me to spiral because I’m holding on so deeply that this needs to be the right way, like That energy right there like you can feel it in your bones and like I think when we become more unattached or again when I say lack of information, like maybe you don’t fully understand the beliefs that you’ve taken on because other people have told you the beliefs and so maybe you are actually getting to this place of like Shit, there’s still more for me to learn around this belief that I’ve taken on because I have definitely like I’m thinking so much about the person.
26:44: Like I just did not have enough information, did not have any information.
26:48: I also did not have what we’ve talked about like the four levels of consciousness, which level level one of consciousness is like things happen to me.
26:56: So like there’s this more of this like victim mindset.
26:59: Things happen by me, so like you take this responsibility about how you act in this world, you create in this world.
27:05: Level 3 is like things happen for me.
27:08: So now you’re in this like great place of like, wow, anything that happens in my life happens for me.
27:12: And then level 4 is like everything happens through me.
27:16: And when you are receiving other people’s beliefs or values that no longer align with your authentic self, and if it’s kind of like Throwing you over and causing some tension or chaotic.
27:27: What does it look like for you to see that it’s happening for you so you can get to a place of it working through you and through you, it’s like, oh, I get to like be with this, it processes it through me.
27:35: I fully digest this experience and then I get to integrate what’s meant for me.
27:39: Yeah, I mean, bringing it back around because I did that for whatever reason, him saying it clicked for me and I processed that anger with Austin.
27:46: And then I, and Austin’s like, what if you just started telling yourself that?
27:49: Like, what if you just Tried.
27:51: I lost probably 30 of those pounds in like a few months because, and I didn’t actually purposefully change anything.
27:59: Things changed because my belief system changed, but I stopped pushing so hard and I, I, every day I just started saying losing weight is easy.
28:07: And it was like it came off so fast.
28:09: I spent years trying to get that weight off, and it came off so fast.
28:12: And it was because I let go of that belief.
28:15: I didn’t even realize I was carrying.
28:17: And I think that that is the the through line is like you don’t know what you’re holding on to sometimes until you hear something different from someone else.
28:25: And then you’re like, oh, let me question that.
28:27: Yeah.
28:27: So you’re saying it’s also the invitation.
28:29: Yeah, but you’re saying someone else’s differences or the way that they think about something, the way that they share something, it could be the through line to get to where you want to be.
28:36: Yeah.
28:37: And something that you talked about that I think about too when you talk about not having enough information or, or.
28:43: Making assumptions.
28:44: I also think about texting.
28:46: Sometimes I’m less sensitive, but I, I’m, I am sensitive, but I’m less sensitive than Austin.
28:50: And sometimes he’ll bring me a text message and he’ll be like, look at this text message, and I’ll read it so differently.
28:56: He’s like putting all this inflection or like, we all do that, right?
28:59: Like you read it a certain way, and I’ll just feel like, I don’t think that’s how this is intended.
29:03: I think you’re being extra sensitive, but I feel you, I hear you, but maybe that’s why I love voice notes.
29:09: So much more now even though I was opposed at first.
29:11: I think you get more of the feeling behind it, but that’s another way of making an assumption of how someone’s saying something or implying something instead of getting all the information, instead of like what you would do, which is like, how did you mean that?
29:23: What’s the intention behind that?
29:25: I feel like you’re really good at that, but not everyone is that way, right?
29:27: We just come from our own perspective.
29:29: We assume what they were implying through the message, literally all the time.
29:35: Yeah, and we just do that at face value, you know, and I think when we talk about like the levels of consciousness like, or like how example, I’m gonna bring this up because I’ve been reading so much about how to read the Bible and there are things on how to read the Bible.
29:50: Like if you read it the surface level way, it’s, it could be very like it’s very easy like a rule book, you know exactly what to do.
29:57: But I’ve heard that there’s 4 different ways to read the Bible and ultimately there’s like so much depth behind those things.
30:03: And we do this when every time we read a book, right?
30:05: Like someone will read us a quote, for example, and you’re like, OK, this is what quote means then you’ll read the quote and be like that, that’s what that means to you.
30:13: And so I’m saying this for like layers of experiences when you hear someone speaking or there’s a belief or a value or someone that’s different than you.
30:22: The more that you could say like, oh, there’s more beyond the surface that I do not see.
30:27: And what if that’s just OK?
30:30: I also wanted to say like maybe you don’t have enough information.
30:33: I think the win is like you don’t need a lot of information always, yeah, and then you get to this place of like doesn’t matter if they have a different belief.
30:39: I love you.
30:40: This is great.
30:40: If I want to have a conversation about it because I’m divinely curious, that’s a different thing.
30:45: But if you’re around other people that have these beliefs and you’re just like, OK, great.
30:49: Yeah, cause then the more again bring this all back together, like the key thing is for you to be in your most authentic expression is letting other people be in their most authentic expression as well.
30:58: Yeah, and not letting it touch you.
31:00: Like my mom uses the word don’t let it touch you.
31:03: Like if it touches you, there’s something there for you to work on.
31:05: If it doesn’t touch you, you’re great.
31:07: Yeah, it’s great.
31:08: And then I have this like vision like you walking into the room and being surrounded by all these diverse people and You’re happy, you’re open, you’re giving people hugs.
31:16: You don’t care about where they came from, what beliefs they, they, they have, or as long as they’re a good person, they do you respect, they ultimately have the same amount of love as you do.
31:27: And I love that you say that because to kind of like add to that, I think.
31:32: We do attract what we are.
31:33: So if you’re attracting something that’s triggering something in you, it is an invitation, like, especially if it’s a very, like some of my most, the friendships I’m most grateful for are the ones that challenged me because it made me like see life so differently or even friends that have evolved into different ways of being or thinking like I’m like, oh thank you.
31:51: For that.
31:51: Thank you for shifting it up on me and giving me a new perspective to ask myself about or to challenge me, because I think it is easy to surround yourself with what’s comfortable.
31:59: And when you get put in situations where you’re not as comfortable, it is always an invitation to kind of reflect on what that’s bringing up for you, what that’s providing.
32:08: Absolutely.
32:10: I think to like summarize this conversation for everyone that’s listening is just like one, like as you’re finding who you want to be in this world and how you want to show up and what your authentic expression is, what lane you want to choose, what path you feel called to do it.
32:22: Like, go for it, go for it full force.
32:25: The more that you are OK with that within yourself and the more that you love yourself for that, and the more that you accept others on their own, it’s so much easier for you to welcome and embrace your fullest expression, in this world.
32:37: And ultimately that’s, I think.
32:40: I would use your words the through line to living this life, right?
32:43: God give us this one life and you know, you’re nothing when you get started.
32:47: You said earlier you’re nothing when you end.
32:49: It’s just creating this soulful experience in between and it’s like how do we want to show up in that and My selfish thought or belief is like I don’t want to show up angry at other people for their their path or judgment.
33:02: Like I just want to be like, I love you.
33:04: Tell me more about it.
33:06: Be willing to explain or if not, that’s OK too and I just, I just look at my entire family.
33:12: I have family all over the world.
33:14: I have clients that have extremely different cultures and different backgrounds and different beliefs and different religions, and I love them so much.
33:25: And none of them are making me into them.
33:27: No, and I’m not trying to make them into me.
33:31: So that’s ultimately what we wanted to share about today.
33:34: Yeah, thank you so much for listening.
33:36: We’ll see you on the next one.
33:37: See you.
33:38: Thank you so much for tuning in.
33:39: We really appreciate you being here.
33:41: If you enjoyed this episode, we’d be grateful if you could leave us a review and share it with a friend.
33:47: Also, we would love to hear from you.
33:49: Reach out to us on Instagram and let us know where you feel inspired to express yourself as you embrace this next era.
33:56: We are here to support you and encourage you.
33:59: Before we go, we want to remind you that you are powerful and deserving of fully expressing who you are.
34:06: Embracing your journey toward authenticity is a vital part of that process, and we’re grateful to be alongside you.
34:13: If you’re looking to dive deeper and connect.
34:15: With others who celebrate their true selves, we invite you to join our community.
34:20: It’s a virtual space for connection and accountability where you can share experiences and grow together.
34:26: You can find the link in our bio.
34:28: We can’t wait to welcome you.
34:30: See you on the next one.
0:04: We’re your host Karenna and Samantha.
0:06: This show is your permission slip to stop holding back.
0:10: Here we talk about what it really means to live unapologetically you in your relationships, your business, and your everyday life.
0:17: We believe the most magnetic version of you is rooted in self-expression, honesty, vulnerability.
0:22: And showing up fully as you are.
0:24: When you own that, you naturally attract the people, the opportunities, and the life that is meant for you.
0:29: Hey guys, so excited to have you back for another episode.
0:32: This one’s a special one.
0:34: It’s just Karenna and I talking about perspectives, beliefs, and accepting other people’s differences.
0:41: Oof, you guys.
0:42: This conversation has been on our hearts for what it feels like for most of this last year, but for such a long time.
0:48: And what is so special about this episode is that we’re really going to dive into what does it really look like to accept other people’s expression, their authenticity and their beliefs and how it can be challenging, but also an invitation for your growth.
0:59: So that being said, we’d love for you to listen in to this episode.
1:04: How are you?
1:05: What are we doing?
1:07: I’m doing, I’m doing good, actually.
1:09: How are you doing?
1:10: I’m good.
1:11: We’re in Arizona right now for anyone that’s listening.
1:14: we are recording podcast episodes all day before Powerhouse tomorrow.
1:19: Yeah, it’s been great so far, and we wanted to talk today about a theme that’s been coming up a lot for us, which is speaking your truth, authenticity, what does that look like?
1:29: How can you stand in your personal power and hold less judgment towards people?
1:34: , from being in your truth.
1:38: Yeah, I think something that Sam and I have been like, we went to this dance party.
1:42: , on Sunday, we went to Daybreakers and on the way there, we were just having so much conversation around authenticity and what it looks like to step into the kind of women that you want to become, but also leaning into your beliefs while also accepting other people’s beliefs.
1:57: I think so often it’s so easy to get caught up in like, well, I’m learning this thing, so I am the right way to be learning this thing and It’s easy when you’re in that early stages to feel like I’m right, I’m wrong and whatever.
2:10: And so we’ve been having a lot of lessons in our life about what does it look like for us to still honor our truth while also being open to other people’s opinions and beliefs.
2:21: And I think I’ve always done this very, very well, but I do remember when I first started, especially coaching or like learning and things like that, I was like, no, it can only be this way.
2:30: Yeah, this is the right way.
2:32: And even if my energy didn’t come off that way internally, that’s how I felt.
2:37: And it was like such a closed off mindset.
2:39: And something that we have like really, really started to like anchor and now is like the more authentic that we can be and the more that we can embrace our own expression without trying to take from someone or trying to prove to someone, the more welcoming it is for us to welcome other people’s expressions and their way of being and their beliefs and their values and, because when we do that for ourselves, you end up loving yourself so fully, like it’s like, well, I get to love that person fully too.
3:11: Yeah, I mean, I can say I was 100% a know it all when I was in my twenties.
3:16: And I think some of that came from a place of fear of not wanting to look maybe beyond my belief systems.
3:24: Some of it was programming, And growing up in, in a, you know, I have two lawyer parents.
3:31: So there’s a lot of like, this is right, this is wrong, and I think that created a structure in my mind of, well, if I believe this to be true, then that’s the only truth.
3:40: and it wasn’t until I started asking deeper questions, more questions, and really listening to other people.
3:46: I think also, I didn’t feel heard as a kid.
3:50: So in my twenties, I was like navigating this, this energy of, listen to me, I Something to say and I’m right and I think the more I started realizing maybe I should be listening more and not being such a know it all, I started to really hear other perspectives.
4:04: I also would say I, I think you could attest to this is like traveling, going to other countries, going to other places, really seeing other ways of being just was like the door that shifted that really opened my mind to coming home and realizing, oh, I don’t know it all.
4:19: In fact, I probably know nothing in a lot of ways.
4:22: Absolutely.
4:23: And I think too, I think, yes, absolutely.
4:25: I could relate to that.
4:26: I think but for me specifically, it wasn’t, I was just so damn curious.
4:30: Like I was, I think any time I meet someone from a different culture or a different belief system or background, I’m just like so curious.
4:39: We just had someone on the podcast I was like, maybe I’m just so damn nosy.
4:42: I was like, no, I don’t think I’m nosy, but I’m just like, tell me more.
4:46: Like I want to know why you why you believe these things and In our world today, like it’s so easy to fight between like I choose this side versus that side, and I wish there was just like so much more conversation about like, well, maybe I don’t understand or like maybe I don’t get it.
5:02: I don’t have the same beliefs as you do.
5:04: But like walk me through, yeah, like, what made you get to that point?
5:09: I think both you and I are the type of person to be asking all the questions in a conversation with someone because I’m the same way.
5:15: We just want to know more about people and who they are and that’s probably why we have a podcast, but I, I think that.
5:23: Being curious is the answer for sure in terms of inviting people into seeing other perspectives and inviting yourself into seeing other perspectives.
5:31: Absolutely.
5:32: And I think one thing that has grounded me and opening it up to other people’s perspectives or other values, beliefs, I’m gonna say cultures like we’re all so different.
5:39: There’s so many different things like that people run into and I’m like, at the fundamental thing, what really matters is like, are you a good person?
5:47: Yes.
5:47: Are you a good person?
5:49: Like there’s certain conversations that I’ve been having and I’m just like, I might not believe the same thing as you, but you treat me with love, respect, you’re curious, you show up for me, you want to love me, you listen, like, why would I ever write you off because you have a different belief system.
6:07: It just doesn’t feel.
6:10: Like love, it doesn’t feel like the ultimate truth, and I think we’re all ultimately trying to get to this place of being our best selves.
6:19: And if you’re listening to this podcast, you’re trying to become your best self.
6:22: You’re trying to find your way in this world.
6:25: And so that’s great, like whatever path you end up choosing, but ultimately it’s like, OK, well how can I just be a good human?
6:32: Yeah, how can I just be loving?
6:33: How can I just like Accept and like the more that I accept other people, the more I accept myself.
6:39: Yeah.
6:40: What’s your process in terms of, let’s say you come up against a belief that doesn’t align with yours because I know like when we take ourselves out, obviously we could have the higher perspective and we could say, I accept you and love you for who you are, but what is the process that you go through to like get to that place of like, well, we have different beliefs and what did that look like to get there or was it, were you always that way of just accepting that people are gonna.
7:04: Yeah.
7:05: Oh yeah, I think for me it, it’s always been stuck between right and wrong.
7:09: Try to look black and black white.
7:10: Like whenever I am challenged by someone else’s belief systems and they are learning something, they’re sharing something that I like don’t necessarily agree with, it seems like to me, one, I probably have a lack of information.
7:22: So like I’m under educated, like I don’t know enough to be able to actually have a solid opinion on that and that’s where I end up wavering.
7:30: , or secondly, like once I can put that aside, I’m like, well, how is this person showing up for me?
7:36: Are they the kind of person that I want to be around?
7:38: Like, do you, you know, does this person love me fully?
7:42: Do, do they get curious about my process?
7:45: Do they only talk about their beliefs?
7:47: Like, I also don’t know, I will love and accept people, but I also don’t feel super comfortable to be like, OK, well, I wanna hang out with you all the time, but I, I, I don’t think I’m gonna be in the room with someone that’s like Only talking about one thing all the time and that’s the only thing that they stand for.
8:00: It’s like, OK, how can we have multiple like a multi-dimensional conversation around like what you do and what I do and like that seems better, but in order to like bring it back to what you’re asking for, it’s kind of just working through like my own internal stuff that comes up around like Should I be thinking that way?
8:15: Yeah.
8:15: Should I not be thinking that way?
8:17: Am I missing something?
8:18: Am I under educated?
8:19: Like that I think that’s one of the big ones for me is like the lack of education and the lack of information that tends to create more chaos whenever I’m triggered by someone’s authentic expression or belief systems or values that I may not know or cultures that I do not understand.
8:36: I bring this back and I wouldn’t have gotten to that place because like for example, I’ve coached so many women that are in different cultures and in their cultures, women are submissive.
8:45: Women are the quiet ones.
8:48: And you know, like sometimes in conversations like you have the conversations with them where they’re like, well, I just do whatever my husband says, or and I like immediately I would get I could get like, what?
9:00: What do you mean?
9:01: You don’t talk back, you don’t ask your curiosity like he doesn’t help you out things around the house.
9:05: What are you doing?
9:06: And I could do that or I can just get curious as to like, OK, so tell me more about why you believe those things.
9:12: I love that.
9:13: Yeah, and I think, you know, we’re in such a divisive time right now where it is so easy to just have polarizing beliefs and this is the truth, or this is the truth.
9:22: And I think that it’s so beautiful that you’re able to take that question and instead of just being like, you’re wrong, ask them, be inquisitive, and really like get to a place where even if you don’t agree with them, you can see from their perspective.
9:36: Totally.
9:36: And I think I think the goal here on this lifetime is for us to be our most fullest expressed self, and whatever journey we choose, we chose it and don’t give a fuck about all sense and that’s OK.
9:50: That also means like loving others for the choice and the path that they choose too, right?
9:54: Like I think ultimately like we’re all here trying to figure out how to be ourselves, how to be.
9:59: authentic, how to be our fullest express self, how to make decisions that feel aligned with ourselves and hoping that the people that are closest to us are not going to judge them.
10:07: Like I get that.
10:09: and so, but the the path that I have found that is easier for me to own that for myself is when I’m not doing that to other people because you have this really great quote that you always talk about the judgment that you judge within.
10:21: The judgment that you have within the judge that you push on to others is the judge that you have within yourself.
10:26: Yeah, it was, I think you, you, you attract what you judge until you no longer judge what you attracted.
10:33: Yeah.
10:34: And like I hear that it’s like, OK, well, if I’m judging them, what am I judging within myself?
10:39: Yeah, what are you seeing in yourself exactly?
10:41: Yeah, and I think it is so true.
10:42: I mean, I feel this, I think particularly for me with like family members, and I have so much judgment.
10:48: I’m not gonna lie.
10:49: I’ve had so much judgment around some of my family members and then I had to ask myself, what am I seeing in myself?
10:53: A lot of times it’s things like maybe there’s a part of me in that and I’m like, oh, I don’t like that part of me.
10:58: I don’t want to see that.
11:00: You know, I don’t want to become that or I don’t want to embody that, but I do think there’s a, if, if it’s triggering you, there’s something for you in it for sure.
11:07: Absolutely.
11:08: And I think there’s also To using like your family like I think when you choose a certain path, you also get to choose how much of that energy of capacity for but I will say like the more that I have accepted the people as they are and I get to love them and see them and celebrate them for the things that they.
11:26: that are so important.
11:28: it’s so much.
11:29: I’m so much more welcoming in my energy of, yeah, cool.
11:34: I love that for you.
11:35: I don’t know what that means to you and like, but I don’t have to know.
11:39: And ultimately like even in my relationship with Nick like And the secret sauce that I have learned is like him and I are going to be so different and I want us to be different.
11:48: I think at one point I thought that him and I needed to be exactly the same.
11:52: And I think we can get into this place with the like friendships, family dynamics, brothers and sisters, your partners.
11:58: It’s like it’s so much safer if you know that this person knows exactly like you do, thinks exactly like you do, has the same beliefs and values as you do.
12:08: And ultimate I was like, I don’t want that anymore.
12:10: I was like at the end of the day, I’m only doing that for my own safety and I’m only doing that for my own understanding because it’s so much safer to know exactly.
12:18: Let’s just use Nick as example.
12:20: I talk about him so much on this podcast, but like it’s so much safer for me to say, well, we’re always gonna walk this down these lanes together, and he’s like, no, cry out like my lane’s yellow and yours is red and that is OK, you know, like, but what I want it to look like yellow.
12:36: What do you mean?
12:36: Like.
12:38: Is yours as big as mine or is it as small as mine?
12:40: Like, are we, is it different?
12:42: And it probably is different.
12:43: I even think about this concept sometimes with like love.
12:47: I always said, I was like, honey, how much I always ask him like, how much do you love me?
12:51: And he’s like, I love you so much.
12:52: I was like, what does that mean?
12:54: Like how much?
12:55: Like give me like give me like actual like I’m like this much like you know I’m telling the stars like forever?
13:03: What do you mean?
13:04: And then like below that, like my like higher consciousness knows that at the end of the day I will never know the depth of Nick’s love, but I get to trust the level of Nick’s love.
13:15: But when we’re in this place of wanting everything to be the same, like it’d be so much easier for me to know that Nick loves me the same the same.
13:23: that I love him every single day just so that I can feel safer in the fact that I’m receiving exactly what I’m putting out.
13:31: And if we take that example into like a much bigger example with like beliefs and so or like the path that you’re choosing or your authentic expression or something called in this way like The better that we can get with, it doesn’t even matter.
13:45: It truly doesn’t matter when you get to this place internally like, wait, it doesn’t matter if they’re different than me.
13:51: It doesn’t matter if they think a little bit different.
13:54: But how can I show up and love this person and meet them where they’re at and say, I get it even though I don’t understand.
14:00: Yeah.
14:01: Something I think that’s amazing too is when you start to ask these questions within yourself or like especially when you’re triggered or when you’re seeing something, it also gives me such a one gratitude towards the other person for like challenging me.
14:14: And also, it’s given me a deeper appreciation for myself.
14:17: It’s shown me where I’ve grown, where I need to grow.
14:20: I have certain friends in my life who communicate very differently than I do, and they have been the biggest growth.
14:28: Challengers for me in terms of understanding like oh this isn’t personal or that’s just how they communicate or that’s just how they show up like to your point and I could control that or want to control it or only surround myself with people that are just like that yeah just like me there’s only one me though I’m just kidding.
14:46: No, but to show up a specific way that makes me feel comfortable.
14:49: But now, as I’ve, as I’ve gotten to be around other people that think differently or travel and see other cultures, I like that challenge.
14:56: I like feeling uncomfortable when someone brings something to the table where I’m like, oh, that, that’s spicy.
15:03: That’s different than how I feel.
15:05: Like, let me dissect that.
15:06: Let me analyze that.
15:07: And ask myself, why is this triggering me?
15:09: Why is this why is this bringing up some discomfort?
15:11: like what have I not worked through or what is this?
15:14: And sometimes it’s bringing up childhood trauma or it’s bringing up, you know, it’s a lack of information, yeah, or not understanding and, and that’s something I do love about you is you’re so good at asking the deeper questions and asking like, well, tell me more about that and how does that feel?
15:27: and.
15:28: You know, it has encouraged me to do the same and you bring, I love our conversation so much because you always bring a different perspective.
15:35: Like, I feel like we’re so similar in ways and we’re so different and kind of like you and Nick.
15:40: Like it’s so beautiful.
15:42: I welcome those type of dynamics.
15:43: I want more people that are different than me.
15:45: I want to open my mind to Different ways of thinking and ways of being.
15:49: And that’s something we’ve also cultivated in our community is just having so many different women with different perspectives and the old me would have taken so many little remarks personally or, you know, felt uncomfortable about certain things.
16:01: And now I’m just like, oh, how interesting.
16:03: Tell me more.
16:03: Like, what else are you thinking or what else is your perspective and, and being like, cool, that’s awesome.
16:09: I love that you think that way.
16:12: There’s two things I want to pull a string on.
16:13: One, something you said is like also like assumptions because I think a lot of the times like when we are that little spicy edgy thing someone said things that I didn’t like and I was like, wait, that didn’t land well.
16:22: I can’t keep up.
16:23: It, it probably is because I am flooded with assumptions about what they said, yeah, which I think is important to think.
16:29: Think about and then the other thing that shit oh we had a moment in the car on the way to Daybreaker where we were having this conversation and you were telling me about your experience and I was like, Sam, when I hear you say that, that makes me feel very anxious.
16:44: Do you remember that?
16:45: I was like, I don’t like that.
16:46: And but I shared it from my view versus like, and I didn’t realize this from the moment that this is what I was doing, but I did do this.
16:55: I was like, I did this and I’m now looking back at myself and I was like, oh.
16:59: I was sharing it from my perspective because that was my perspective of how you were sharing.
17:04: I wasn’t trying to share the way that you view the world because this is the whole, we’re not gonna go in that conversation, but I thought it was so beautiful because I was like, oh, that makes me a little anxious the way that you think about that and you’re like, oh, like that wasn’t that isn’t what it was and you clarified.
17:18: And if we can do that more with the people that are in our lives or the people that we meet and open up the door to get beyond the word that you heard, beyond the sentence that came out of their mouth, you will understand so much more and Even if you don’t understand, it really doesn’t matter as long as they have a reason for them choosing that.
17:40: Yeah, because of the day you’re, you’re choosing your path.
17:44: And I think ultimately what we’re also saying is like you can love, absorb, meet other people where they’re at, while still choosing your own lane, 100%.
17:54: And I think there’s like a strength in that and we need different perspectives.
17:57: We need different people.
17:58: We can’t, we’re not meant to all be the same.
17:59: We’re all experiencing life through our own eyes.
18:02: So of course, Like it wouldn’t make sense if we were all the same we’d be robots, you know, it’d be a very boring world, yeah, and I’m like also like we were just got off like one of the things that we just got off this one episode with, I was like, we want people to be different.
18:16: It’s what makes us all unique.
18:17: It’s diversity like I love diversity.
18:20: I also love diversity in culture.
18:23: I love diversity and religion.
18:25: I love diversity and food.
18:27: Like, come on, how many of us are eating Italian and Mexican and and let’s just say Asian.
18:33: Throughout the week and it’s like what if you ate American every freaking day it’s like to some people, I get it like they like American American every single day.
18:43: I understand, but how fun it is to like juice it up every once in a while.
18:47: You’re like, oh, I wanna try a different dish, right?
18:50: Like we’re, we get to do that too with our beliefs and our Values and our cultures and the people that we surround ourselves with.
18:57: Like, I, and maybe that’s not for everyone, and I’m OK.
19:01: I think that’s OK.
19:02: Like I think a lot of us, again, if this is not for you, then you’re choosing your own path.
19:06: But, but I still challenge people to consider it because I think that it also is what creates better discernment.
19:16: Because you hear something opposite you and instead of just being like, no, that’s wrong, you actually ask the other person and listen to what their perspective is.
19:24: I feel like it, it gives you a broader sense of, of life, of just like recognizing that, OK, maybe I can stay really strong in my belief, but that’s really wild.
19:33: They believe something so different, how cool, how crazy, like that’s OK.
19:37: I, I, I would challenge people to, to ask deeper questions cause I think it’s also what I think we’ve lost critical thinking in a lot of ways, and I think by by being inquisitive and really observing other people and listening to them, that also contributes to being a critical thinker and, and thinking outside the box.
19:55: And by doing the critical thinking, that’s where you to like kind of figure out like who am I in the messy middle.
20:02: But I think this is what’s so hard for so many people it’s like it’s, and especially our minds, right?
20:06: Like we’re having a human experience.
20:07: We, we definitely, we’re gonna have parts of us that are gonna be so attached to something because it’s so much easier to attach to that.
20:15: it’s a whole another story when you are actually learning how to create this fluidity with your beliefs and your values and still anchoring in your truth and, essentially just fluidity around things around you.
20:29: So, the biggest thing with critical thinking, is that you get to like really start to discern for yourself and understand more, right?
20:36: You’re opening up the door.
20:37: And for some people, like opening up that new door and not knowing what’s on the other side is kind of scary, but again, you won’t know if you don’t have information, you can’t really make decisions on how you want to live.
20:48: So like I think it’s so cool or how you want to respond to something.
20:51: And so it’s so cool when you are just kind of working through information and opening up your mind and integrating it and be like, OK, I integrated this information like who do I want to become?
21:01: And I feel like I’m continuing to do that in my life.
21:04: Like there’s so many new data points or new pockets of information that are coming to me and I’m Not like trying them on, but I’m also like, OK, let’s see how this feels.
21:16: Does this align with my soul?
21:18: Does this align with the soul that God created me to have, you know what I mean?
21:20: Like that God gave me this earth and he’s like, you know, at the end of the day, like this is what my lived experience is going to be like, is that something I want to keep with me and we have those choices.
21:29: I think sometimes when we hear people at their word, it’s always easy to be like, well, if I accept them there, then I’m accepting it.
21:38: If I let them be right in their thoughts.
21:42: That I’m, I’m I’m saying that’s OK.
21:45: And you see this a lot in politics.
21:48: You see this a lot in just men versus women.
21:52: You see this in anything that is the extremes of both sides.
21:55: And so, but it doesn’t have to be.
21:58: It’s OK for them, doesn’t mean it has to be OK for you.
22:01: What I was gonna say too is that the through line is.
22:04: There’s a freedom in questioning your own belief systems, and I think that if you are one of those, and, and we’ve all been there, the type of person that’s like, nope, that’s the truth, that’s all there is.
22:14: I’m, you’re wrong, I’m right.
22:16: I think you’re doing yourself a disservice from the opportunity to, and it doesn’t even have to be something huge like religion or politics.
22:23: It could be, I used to have a really strong belief system around money and how to make money and what money.
22:28: Meant.
22:29: And, you know, I grew up with parents who said, oh, well, money doesn’t grow on trees.
22:33: Like I had a lot of money beliefs to work through.
22:35: And some of them were so deeply ingrained that it wasn’t until I got around other people who didn’t have those beliefs, who had very different money beliefs that I was like, oh my gosh, that’s a belief that I’m holding, that’s not true.
22:47: And look what this person is creating, or look what this person is creating or even in my creativity.
22:52: I, my whole life wanted to have a creative business.
22:55: Like I wanted to be a creative entrepreneur and I had this story in my head again coming from two lawyer parents that were like, go to college, get a degree, like that’s the that’s the path they did.
23:05: That’s all I thought was possible and that being a creative was just a hobby and it would only ever be a hobby and they would say things unknowingly from their own belief systems that reinforce that.
23:14: And I think when I started to put myself, like when I lived in LA and I was around other creatives and other entrepreneurs or I went to the jewelry school and I saw people really successful doing what I wanted to do.
23:26: I’m like, oh, again, that’s such a deep-seated limiting belief, but if I didn’t allow myself to put myself in environments around other people or like ask deeper questions or go to those places where I was being shown another way of being.
23:40: I wouldn’t have ever let go of that.
23:42: I would have held on to that.
23:43: And one more example actually that’s really powerful is when I was like 25, I was living in LA.
23:47: I, I was probably had spent the past 5 years trying to lose 50 pounds like this, and I told myself so many stories like when I lose the weight I’ll be an actress or when I lose the weight I’ll be loved or I’ll find my partner or I’ll be accepted.
23:59: Like I told myself all these stories and when I I was on set one day with another PA cause it was when I first got into the industry, so I was just like a, a production assistant and I was with this guy and he’s like, I’m sitting there talking about how hard it is to lose weight and I go to spin 4 times a week and I do all these things.
24:15: He’s like, really?
24:16: Like losing weight’s easy.
24:17: Like he just said it’s so matter of fact, like that was his belief.
24:21: And I went home and I, I had just started like talking to Austin and I said, this asshole over here was like losing weight’s easy.
24:29: He has no idea, da da da da.
24:30: And Austin goes, what if that’s just a belief you’re holding?
24:33: Like, maybe it is easy.
24:34: And in that moment, something clicked for me and I was like, oh my God, this is a story that I have told myself.
24:39: For so long that it is true and I think that that could be true on the the smallest things and the biggest things and so I’ve become like you this more inquisitive person because I’m like, is that a belief I’m carrying that’s limiting me, that’s holding me back or that’s like stopping me from getting to know other people or seeing other perspectives.
24:59: And I think that’s a really, that’s the part where I’m like, I encourage people to ask deeper questions or to just like listen, like you don’t, even if you in your mind you’re like, nope, you’re wrong, I’m right.
25:08: That’s fine.
25:09: But at least hear people out.
25:10: And I think if we did more of that, more people, we wouldn’t have so much divisiveness because we’d be like, OK, well, I don’t agree with that, but that’s OK.
25:17: I don’t have to agree with you.
25:18: I can see where you’re coming from.
25:20: I can see your perspective and I can respect and honor that.
25:24: Something that I’m hearing from you say like in that moment where you had this belief like you were kind of like angry, you’re like with him.
25:30: You were like, no he’s wrong, losing weight is not easy.
25:34: You’re wrong and you can feel in that energy that feels like you’re wrong.
25:42: So you’re telling yourself, not only you’re telling him that he’s wrong, you’re telling yourself that you’re wrong.
25:47: And then there’s all that shame and guilt and anger and frustration and so I think something I would, I always use as kind of like an anchor point is kind of being like, what’s my energy behind this belief that I’m holding?
25:59: Am I, am I, because I didn’t do the thing or because I’m quote unquote right wrong in this moment, am I feeling shame for it?
26:07: Am I feeling guilt for it?
26:08: Is it creating unhealthy and like energy around it within me?
26:13: Like, is it causing me to spiral because I’m holding on so deeply that this needs to be the right way, like That energy right there like you can feel it in your bones and like I think when we become more unattached or again when I say lack of information, like maybe you don’t fully understand the beliefs that you’ve taken on because other people have told you the beliefs and so maybe you are actually getting to this place of like Shit, there’s still more for me to learn around this belief that I’ve taken on because I have definitely like I’m thinking so much about the person.
26:44: Like I just did not have enough information, did not have any information.
26:48: I also did not have what we’ve talked about like the four levels of consciousness, which level level one of consciousness is like things happen to me.
26:56: So like there’s this more of this like victim mindset.
26:59: Things happen by me, so like you take this responsibility about how you act in this world, you create in this world.
27:05: Level 3 is like things happen for me.
27:08: So now you’re in this like great place of like, wow, anything that happens in my life happens for me.
27:12: And then level 4 is like everything happens through me.
27:16: And when you are receiving other people’s beliefs or values that no longer align with your authentic self, and if it’s kind of like Throwing you over and causing some tension or chaotic.
27:27: What does it look like for you to see that it’s happening for you so you can get to a place of it working through you and through you, it’s like, oh, I get to like be with this, it processes it through me.
27:35: I fully digest this experience and then I get to integrate what’s meant for me.
27:39: Yeah, I mean, bringing it back around because I did that for whatever reason, him saying it clicked for me and I processed that anger with Austin.
27:46: And then I, and Austin’s like, what if you just started telling yourself that?
27:49: Like, what if you just Tried.
27:51: I lost probably 30 of those pounds in like a few months because, and I didn’t actually purposefully change anything.
27:59: Things changed because my belief system changed, but I stopped pushing so hard and I, I, every day I just started saying losing weight is easy.
28:07: And it was like it came off so fast.
28:09: I spent years trying to get that weight off, and it came off so fast.
28:12: And it was because I let go of that belief.
28:15: I didn’t even realize I was carrying.
28:17: And I think that that is the the through line is like you don’t know what you’re holding on to sometimes until you hear something different from someone else.
28:25: And then you’re like, oh, let me question that.
28:27: Yeah.
28:27: So you’re saying it’s also the invitation.
28:29: Yeah, but you’re saying someone else’s differences or the way that they think about something, the way that they share something, it could be the through line to get to where you want to be.
28:36: Yeah.
28:37: And something that you talked about that I think about too when you talk about not having enough information or, or.
28:43: Making assumptions.
28:44: I also think about texting.
28:46: Sometimes I’m less sensitive, but I, I’m, I am sensitive, but I’m less sensitive than Austin.
28:50: And sometimes he’ll bring me a text message and he’ll be like, look at this text message, and I’ll read it so differently.
28:56: He’s like putting all this inflection or like, we all do that, right?
28:59: Like you read it a certain way, and I’ll just feel like, I don’t think that’s how this is intended.
29:03: I think you’re being extra sensitive, but I feel you, I hear you, but maybe that’s why I love voice notes.
29:09: So much more now even though I was opposed at first.
29:11: I think you get more of the feeling behind it, but that’s another way of making an assumption of how someone’s saying something or implying something instead of getting all the information, instead of like what you would do, which is like, how did you mean that?
29:23: What’s the intention behind that?
29:25: I feel like you’re really good at that, but not everyone is that way, right?
29:27: We just come from our own perspective.
29:29: We assume what they were implying through the message, literally all the time.
29:35: Yeah, and we just do that at face value, you know, and I think when we talk about like the levels of consciousness like, or like how example, I’m gonna bring this up because I’ve been reading so much about how to read the Bible and there are things on how to read the Bible.
29:50: Like if you read it the surface level way, it’s, it could be very like it’s very easy like a rule book, you know exactly what to do.
29:57: But I’ve heard that there’s 4 different ways to read the Bible and ultimately there’s like so much depth behind those things.
30:03: And we do this when every time we read a book, right?
30:05: Like someone will read us a quote, for example, and you’re like, OK, this is what quote means then you’ll read the quote and be like that, that’s what that means to you.
30:13: And so I’m saying this for like layers of experiences when you hear someone speaking or there’s a belief or a value or someone that’s different than you.
30:22: The more that you could say like, oh, there’s more beyond the surface that I do not see.
30:27: And what if that’s just OK?
30:30: I also wanted to say like maybe you don’t have enough information.
30:33: I think the win is like you don’t need a lot of information always, yeah, and then you get to this place of like doesn’t matter if they have a different belief.
30:39: I love you.
30:40: This is great.
30:40: If I want to have a conversation about it because I’m divinely curious, that’s a different thing.
30:45: But if you’re around other people that have these beliefs and you’re just like, OK, great.
30:49: Yeah, cause then the more again bring this all back together, like the key thing is for you to be in your most authentic expression is letting other people be in their most authentic expression as well.
30:58: Yeah, and not letting it touch you.
31:00: Like my mom uses the word don’t let it touch you.
31:03: Like if it touches you, there’s something there for you to work on.
31:05: If it doesn’t touch you, you’re great.
31:07: Yeah, it’s great.
31:08: And then I have this like vision like you walking into the room and being surrounded by all these diverse people and You’re happy, you’re open, you’re giving people hugs.
31:16: You don’t care about where they came from, what beliefs they, they, they have, or as long as they’re a good person, they do you respect, they ultimately have the same amount of love as you do.
31:27: And I love that you say that because to kind of like add to that, I think.
31:32: We do attract what we are.
31:33: So if you’re attracting something that’s triggering something in you, it is an invitation, like, especially if it’s a very, like some of my most, the friendships I’m most grateful for are the ones that challenged me because it made me like see life so differently or even friends that have evolved into different ways of being or thinking like I’m like, oh thank you.
31:51: For that.
31:51: Thank you for shifting it up on me and giving me a new perspective to ask myself about or to challenge me, because I think it is easy to surround yourself with what’s comfortable.
31:59: And when you get put in situations where you’re not as comfortable, it is always an invitation to kind of reflect on what that’s bringing up for you, what that’s providing.
32:08: Absolutely.
32:10: I think to like summarize this conversation for everyone that’s listening is just like one, like as you’re finding who you want to be in this world and how you want to show up and what your authentic expression is, what lane you want to choose, what path you feel called to do it.
32:22: Like, go for it, go for it full force.
32:25: The more that you are OK with that within yourself and the more that you love yourself for that, and the more that you accept others on their own, it’s so much easier for you to welcome and embrace your fullest expression, in this world.
32:37: And ultimately that’s, I think.
32:40: I would use your words the through line to living this life, right?
32:43: God give us this one life and you know, you’re nothing when you get started.
32:47: You said earlier you’re nothing when you end.
32:49: It’s just creating this soulful experience in between and it’s like how do we want to show up in that and My selfish thought or belief is like I don’t want to show up angry at other people for their their path or judgment.
33:02: Like I just want to be like, I love you.
33:04: Tell me more about it.
33:06: Be willing to explain or if not, that’s OK too and I just, I just look at my entire family.
33:12: I have family all over the world.
33:14: I have clients that have extremely different cultures and different backgrounds and different beliefs and different religions, and I love them so much.
33:25: And none of them are making me into them.
33:27: No, and I’m not trying to make them into me.
33:31: So that’s ultimately what we wanted to share about today.
33:34: Yeah, thank you so much for listening.
33:36: We’ll see you on the next one.
33:37: See you.
33:38: Thank you so much for tuning in.
33:39: We really appreciate you being here.
33:41: If you enjoyed this episode, we’d be grateful if you could leave us a review and share it with a friend.
33:47: Also, we would love to hear from you.
33:49: Reach out to us on Instagram and let us know where you feel inspired to express yourself as you embrace this next era.
33:56: We are here to support you and encourage you.
33:59: Before we go, we want to remind you that you are powerful and deserving of fully expressing who you are.
34:06: Embracing your journey toward authenticity is a vital part of that process, and we’re grateful to be alongside you.
34:13: If you’re looking to dive deeper and connect.
34:15: With others who celebrate their true selves, we invite you to join our community.
34:20: It’s a virtual space for connection and accountability where you can share experiences and grow together.
34:26: You can find the link in our bio.
34:28: We can’t wait to welcome you.
34:30: See you on the next one.
Together, they explore:
- Why loving yourself in your authenticity unlocks the ability to love others in theirs
- How to honor someone’s journey without needing it to mirror your own
- The power of being rooted in your expression while welcoming others’ differences
- “You attract what you judge until you no longer judge what you’ve attracted” — and what that reveals about your inner world
- How to turn inward when someone’s values, beliefs, or opinions trigger you
- Moving from assumptions and division into curiosity, compassion, and connection
This episode is an invitation to come home to yourself, to celebrate others in their fullness, and to remember that authenticity is not just about self-expression — it’s about creating a world where everyone feels free to shine.
Tune in and discover how embracing the differences around you can unlock the deepest truths within you.
Join The Fully Expressed Community, where you can be surrounded by other women who are also on the same path of personal growth, healing, and uncovering their authentic expression. Being in a community surrounded by others can truly be one of the most supporting and healing containers to support your personal invitation.
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